20 Situationship Red Flags You Should NEVER Ignore
Are you currently in a situationship? Do you find yourself unsure about where you stand with your partner?
Although there is almost always that weird, limbo stage when you first start seeing someone (normally referred to as the talking stage,) that isn’t a time period that takes too long.
If the talking stage is being dragged out, without any sign or signal of a committed relationship, you can have found yourself in a situationship.
A situationship isn’t like a friends with benefits where both parties have agreed to have a no strings attached relationship.
These can quickly turn into a toxic relationship if one person wants more or has a stronger emotional connection.
But of course, not all situationships are necesarrily bad. They can just be the early stages of dating before you get into a serious relationship.
But if you spot any of these situationship red flags, RUN!
Situationship Red Flags
In a situationship, it can be tough to determine where you stand with your partner.
Being left in limbo is in and of itself a major red flag, but sometimes it’s just a prolonged talking phase and not really one of the situationship red flags to watch out for.
However, these here are some SERIOUS red flags to look out for, especially if you want a serious, exclusive relationship at some point:
They Don’t Know What They Want
If your partner is unsure about what they want from the relationship, it’s a sign that they’re not ready for commitment.
They may be sending mixed signals, which can be confusing and frustrating.
If someone ‘doesn’t know what they want,’ take that as a ‘I don’t want YOU.’
I’m sorry if that’s harsh. But if it isn’t a HELL YES, it’s a F*CK NO.
Remember: When someone says ‘let’s just see where it goes’ it means it’s going nowhere slow.
He Makes Plans With You Last Minute
If your partner only makes plans with you at the last minute, it’s a sign that they’re not prioritizing your relationship. or valuing your time.
This can make you feel like an afterthought, and it’s not a good sign for the future.
You should (hopefully) be invited on actual dates with thought and planning.
Unless you’re just looking for a casual hookup, this is a major situationship red flag to look out for!
And I will go out on a limb and say you aren’t looking for something casual, because then why are you reading this article?
You Don’t Feel Like They Are Putting In 100%
If your partner is not putting in the effort to make the relationship work, it can be a sign that they’re not invested in the relationship.
This can lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment.
A healthy, committed relationship requires both people putting in 100%. Not one person doing all the work to keep the connection alive.
As the relationship progresses, they should be more invested in you and want to spend more time.
But if they are going the opposite direction, being flakey, cancelling last minute, or giving dry replies– it may be best to see this for what it is.
Just an option and not a priority.
You Never Know Where You Stand
If your partner is not communicating with you about where you stand in the relationship, it can be a sign that they’re not committed to you.
They leave you in this relationship purgatory on purpose, giving you juuuuuuust enough to have you holding on.
But they never make anything official or talk about the possibility of a committed relationship.
This is also referred to as breadcrumbing.
And trust me. You deserve much more than the bare minimum.
You deserve the whole-ass-CAKE!
They Hate Talking About The Future
If your partner is avoiding conversations about the future, it is a major sign that they’re not interested in a long-term commitment.
Committed relationships talk and make sure both partners are on the same page regarding their future together (or lack of.)
But if they give you no clear answer or completely avoid the conversation, that’s a major red flag.
Even if they don’t want an exclusive relationship, they should be able to communicate that instead of leaving you in romantic limbo,
You Always End Up In Bed
If your partner only wants to spend time with you in the bedroom, it’s a sign that they’re not interested in a real relationship.
Besides feeling used and unimportant, this can cause you to feel anxious about your role in their life.
Healthy relationships do more than just have passionate sex.
And yes, sexual intimacy is huge in the beginning, but it shouldn’t be the only thing you and your partner do.
If all the invites are for Netflix and Chill… This isn’t even casual dating anymore, it’s a weal connection and a relationship that will never progress.
No Romantic Dates
If your partner is not interested in going on romantic dates, it can be a sign that they’re not interested in a real relationship.
You deserve to be important and loved in your relationships.
Date nights are HUGE when dating.
Have you ever noticed how even happy couples that have been married for years prioritize actual dates?
Because working on having a deeper connection takes time and effort, but it’s something you do when you prioritize the other person.
Avoiding The “Where Do We Stand In The Relationship”
If your partner is avoiding conversations about where you stand in the relationship, it because you don’t stand anywhere with them.
Not wanting to define the relationship status (after a healthy amount of time,) is always one of the major situationship red flags.
They don’t define the relationship because they know that if they tell you the truth, that this isn’t anything serious, you will likely leave.
And they want to have their cake and eat it too, so they leave thing ambiguous.
You Feel Confused
If you’re feeling confused about where you stand in the relationship, it’s a sign that your partner is not communicating with you effectively.
Confusion is always a big red flag.
It’s something players and those who aren’t serious about you use to their advantage,
In a romantic relationship, you should never feel confused or unsure of where you stand with them.
And if you do, they should be open to having serious conversations to clear up any misunderstanding.
They’re Breadcrumbing You
If your partner is only giving you small amounts of attention and affection…. Do I even have to say it?!
Breadcrumbing is very manipulative behavior.
It’s giving someone just enough to keep them around but they aren’t worth their full attention.
I consider breadcrumbing to be very cruel because the person doing it knows they don’t want anything serious from the other one.
But they give just enough to keep them around.
Whether that’s flirty texts or even fun date plans with no follow-through.
They are literally giving you crumbs.
Your Relationship Status Is Undefined… And It’s Been Months
If your partner is not willing to define the relationship after months of dating, it’s simply because they don’t want to.
Relationships have a natural flow.
You meet. Flirt. Go on a couple of dates. If there is chemistry and compatibility, a more serious relationship begins.
But if you’re in between any of these stages for too long, it’s because they don’t want to take things to the next level.
They don’t want a commitment or serious relationship.
They were either not looking for something serious or don’t feel enough chemistry to move things forward, but instead of ending things and allowing themselves to feel lonely, they drag you along.
And I hate to say this, but as soon as they find someone they do feel that ‘click‘ with, they’ll leave you hanging.
They Avoid Major Holidays With You
Holidays are huge for couples. It’s a time to spend together with loved ones.
But if they get really busy or have no interest in spending time with you during the holidays, that’s a clear sign this is a casual connection.
Of course, the major caveat being you guys didn’t meet on December 23rd!
But if you’ve been seeing each other for a while and they don’t bring up or mention any Holiday plans… take note.
They likely don’t see you as someone important enough to introduce to family and friends.
Expecting Relationship Treatment Without Wanting Labels
If your partner is expecting relationship treatment without being willing to label the relationship… RUN.
This will lead you to feeling used and manipulated.
You can’t expect someone to give you girlfriend benefits when you just start dating.
Whether it’s the emotional support, sexual intimacy, or a boost to the self esteem – they will want all the relationship benefits without having to make any sacrifices.
That’s completely unfair to you.
Giving, giving, giving, and receiving nothing (or very little) in return.
You’re Putting In All The Effort
Ask yourself this – if you stop texting, would they text you?
If you don’t initiate dates, would they plan dates for you?
How much effort do you put compared to them?
Serious relationships require both people putting consistent effort.
Even a relationship that is casual or a friends with benefits requires both parties to meet each other halfway.
You can’t expect just one person to keep the relationship alive.
They Say Things Like “I Want A Drama-Free Relationship”
Don’t we all? Who wants drama and fights?
But them stating that is definitely something to be concerned about.
Ever notice how the people who ‘hate drama’ are always involved in it? It’s not a coincidence.
Also, they are training you to be ‘chill’ and not cause problems.
They told you they hate drama, so why are you bothering them with your problems? Or bringing up what isn’t working for you in the relationship?
it’s a genius maneuver to get people to not complain when they are unhappy for fear the person will leave because you’re just ‘too much drama.’
They Never Involve You In The Decision-Making Process
Whether it’s big or small decisions, you are the last to know.
In serious, committed relationships partners talk and discuss things.
Whether that’s a job they’re applying for, a trip they’re going on, whatever it may be.
They obviously don’t have to ask for your permission… but at least let you know where they are in life is important and a compromise we make in relationships.
But if they never include you or think about how decisions will affect you, it’s a big sign you aren’t a high priority in their life.
Why include you in their future life plans if they don’t see you in their future, right?
They Are Dating Other People
It’s natural to date other people in the early stages of dating.
But once you have a romantic connection and things have progressed, it’s only natural to assume your current partner isn’t dating around.
If they are still casually seeing other people, it’s because they are keeping their options open.
It may be a harsh truth, but they don’t see your situationship progressing, so why not see what else is out there?
They Haven’t Introduced You To Their Family And Friends
Being introduced to family and friends is a huge, natural step in dating.
If your partner avoids introducing you, or never invites you out with his family and friends, that’s a major situationship red flag.
It could very likely be they see you as just a sexual relationship and have no plans on including you in their whole life.
The Connection Is Shallow
Ask yourself, do the two of you have deep, meaningful conversations? Or is the connection shallow and regular communication is very surface level?
Have either of you opened up to each other? Do you know anything deeper about them than how many siblings they have?
If you have been dating for awhile but you feel like you haven’t made it past small talk, you don’t need a relationship expert to tell you this isn’t going anywhere…
A. Huge. Red. Flag.
Emotional unavailability is one of the most common red flags in situationships.
Everything can seem completely fine, but this person is completely closed off to getting or developing a deeper connection.
Maybe they just got out of a relationship, aren’t over an ex, or don’t want anything serious.
Whatever the reason may be, it’s best to move on and not try to wait and see if things change.
Spoiler alert: They won’t.
When Should You End A Situationship?
There are several red flags to look out for when deciding whether to end a situationship. Here are some warning signs that it may be time to move on:
- Lack of Communication: If you find that your partner is not communicating with you regularly or is not making an effort to keep in touch, this may be a sign that they are not invested in the relationship. It’s important to have open and honest communication in any relationship, and if your partner is not willing to do that, it may be time to end things.
- Lack of Commitment: If your partner is not willing to commit to a real relationship, this may be a sign that they are not interested in taking things to the next level. If you want something more serious but your partner is content with the current situation, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.
- Lack of Respect: If your partner does not respect your boundaries, feelings, or needs, this is a major red flag. A healthy relationship requires mutual respect, and if your partner is not willing to give you that, it may be time to move on.
- Lack of Trust: If you find that you cannot trust your partner, this is a major issue. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and if it’s missing, it can be difficult to build a strong connection. If your partner has broken your trust in the past and is not willing to work on rebuilding it, it may be time to end the relationship.
- Lack of Effort: If your partner is not putting in the effort to make the relationship work, this may be a sign that they are not interested in a serious commitment. A healthy relationship requires effort from both partners, and if your partner is not willing to put in the work, it may be time to move on.
If you notice any of these red flags in your situationship, it may be time to end things.
Remember that you deserve a healthy and fulfilling relationship, and it’s important to prioritize your own needs and happiness.
How Do You Emotionally Detach From A Situationship?
Detaching from a situationship can be a challenging process, especially since you technically ‘weren’t even dating.’
But you have to completely emotionally detach for the sake of your own wellbeing and mental health.
Here are some steps you can take to emotionally detach from a situationship:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step in emotionally detaching from a situationship is to acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or hurt. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and process them.
- Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries is crucial when detaching from a situationship. This means limiting contact with the other person, avoiding places where you might run into them, and not engaging in behaviors that could lead to further emotional attachment.
- Focus on Yourself: When you’re in a situationship, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs and wants. Take this time to focus on yourself. Engage in activities that make you happy, spend time with friends and family, and work on personal projects.
- Practice Self-Care: Self-care is essential when detaching from a situationship. This means taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health. Exercise regularly, eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and engage in activities that help you relax and de-stress.
- Seek Support: Detaching from a situationship can be difficult, and you don’t have to do it alone. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help you process them and move forward.
Remember, detaching from a situationship takes time and effort, but it’s worth it for your emotional well-being.
Stay strong, be patient with yourself, and focus on your own needs and wants.