Emotionally detaching from someone is not easy.
There are many reasons why you might feel the need to distance yourself emotionally from someone and some people might see this as giving up, but being able to emotionally detach from someone shows strength.
When you decide to emotionally detach from someone, whether it is someone you have just met or someone you have known your whole life, you are choosing to put yourself first and to prevent finding yourself hurt down the line.
Being able to emotionally detach from someone takes willpower and some decisive thinking and actions.
To help you, here are the best methods I have found to emotionally detach from someone, in a safe and effective way that will keep you protected.
10 Proven Methods To Emotionally Detach
Decide Why You Want To Emotionally Detach
You need to decide what the reason is as to why you want to distance yourself emotionally from someone.
Finding this one reason is paramount to keeping you on course and sticking with your resolve in emotionally detaching.
It will not be a smooth ride but if you have this one reason in your mind as to why you chose to do so, you can keep motivated to keep your emotions in check.
There are many, many reasons you could choose to emotionally detach.
It could be that this person is toxic and is bringing you down or it could be that you do not want to become too emotionally attached to someone you have just met, in case things do not work out.
Keep your WHY at the forefront of your mind. Maybe even write out the reasons in your journal.
Putting pen to paper and listing out every reason you don’t want to emotionally detach from someone is powerful (not to mention, therapeutic!)
It might be hard but remember the feelings and emotions you have and although it can hurt, it will remind you why you need to stay strong. This way you don’t end up feeling that way again.
Use Your Head, Not Your Heart
The heart can be so much louder than the head sometimes, but you need to sift through all your thoughts and emotions and try to lead with your head.
Making decisions from the heart often sees you becoming emotionally attached to someone and having a hard time detaching from there.
This is especially important when you are newly dating someone. You have no idea whether or not they are ‘the one’, no matter how much you want to believe they are.
If you let your heart take the reins, you will very quickly become emotionally attached to this person, and there is a good chance they will let you down and hurt you.
Believing they are the one too early on also means you are more likely to accept bad behavior and ignore red flags, just so you can have them.
Try and rethink every thought and emotion you have, and make sure to make smart decisions that keep you protected.
Keep Your Options Open
It is so incredibly important to keep your options open. If you are only focused on one person, chances are you are going to stay emotionally attached.
You might also find that the one person you focused on is not only focused on you, and they are probably keeping their options open as well.
They will be less attached to you than you are to them, and this could lead to them pulling away and putting their attention elsewhere which will hurt.
Keeping your emotions close to you and not becoming attached will help you realize all of this. Plus, will stop you from being hurt when you realize that they aren’t focused on you!
By keeping your options open and dating more than one person at a time, you will not be able to become emotionally attached or too dependent on that person. This saves you from becoming too attached to one person who isn’t reciprocating.
(Please note: this is NOT a suggestion if you are in a committed, monogamous relationship. I am assuming you want to detach from someone because you are single and/or going through a breakup in which case you should be casually dating more people to get your mind off this ONE person)
If you spend the time getting to know someone and there is potential there and you are both on the same page, then you can start opening up more emotionally.
Stay Preoccupied And Focus On Yourself
You need to make a big effort to stay preoccupied and busy, spending time focusing on yourself. You need to have your own life and be confident doing your own things.
Make plans to visit friends, start working out, or better your skills on a new hobby.
Avoid making yourself available for someone all the time, canceling your plans to accommodate them. Focus on your own life before you start making changes to accommodate for someone else.
You might wonder how this might mean you emotionally detach from someone, but if you keep yourself busy and invest in your own life, you are less available to that person and your thoughts are preoccupied as well.
This means less time spent thinking about them, less time communicating with them, and less time depending on them to preoccupy your time.
If you find yourself consistently checking your phone or their instagram page, it’s time to get BUSY on yourself, your life, and your hobbies.
This is so important in the process of emotionally detaching, and overall just improves your confidence as well.
Remember Feelings Of Becoming Emotionally Attached Too Soon
If you have a habit of becoming emotionally attached too soon, you are in luck.
You can use the hurt and emotions you felt when you became emotionally attached too soon in the past and keep this in mind to motivate you to avoid doing it so soon again.
Remember how it felt when you were hurt, remember how it felt to be taken advantage of, remember how it felt to give more than what you’ve received.
Chances are that you never want to feel like that again and you deserve so much more than putting yourself back into this position.
This isn’t to make you bitter, it’s to make you wiser. You need to remember how fragile your heart is and to not give it away to just anyone.
Keep your cards close to your chest and give yourself the power of this not happening again.
If you find yourself already becoming emotionally attached, as hard as it might be, pull away if it is too soon.
There is no promise you won’t be hurt again and you should save your attachment for when the other person has earned it.
Know What Becoming Emotionally Attached Means
Becoming emotionally attached to someone means that you are effectively giving them control of your emotions.
It means that you are putting your trust in this person to not hurt you and not take advantage of you.
This is fine if you are in a long-term relationship and you know and trust your partner, but if it is someone you have just started seeing, you are putting yourself at real risk.
Your emotions are worth so much more, and you should only save them for someone who really deserves them, and who will respect them and treat you right.
Finding yourself becoming emotionally attached to someone too soon might happen, it’s natural, but try to remember your worth and that your emotions have value. You cannot walk around handing them out to the next person hoping they will treat you right.
Giving someone your emotional attachment is offering them control of how you feel, and only someone who is truly worthy should be given this control.
As harsh as it sounds, remain emotionally detached until all signs point to this person being right for you.
Remember this, and remember that becoming emotionally attached means a loss of control, to motivate yourself to stay emotionally distant until you are ready.
A good trick in keeping track of if your emotions are correctly placed is looking forward to the future. If the person you are emotionally attached to has a positive space in your future, then you can feel confident that you have made the right choice.
However, if you look into the future and there is no place for this person, or you suspect their role in the future might be toxic or problematic, it is time to emotionally detach.
Always keep looking forward, and if someone is not there to play a positive role in your future, then you need to remember this when trying to distance yourself. There is no point wasting your emotions on someone who is not going to be beneficial to you.
You need to make decisions for yourself, not worried about putting problematic people first. Forgive past actions if you need to, but draw a line in the sand for yourself and keep your distance.
Stop Checking Up On Them
A lot of you (you know who you are) are constantly checking their instagram and facebook pages.
Stop. Right. Now
Block, delete, and forget they even have a social media account.
Checking their socials will only hurt you more. It makes it impossible to emotionally detach from someone you’re constantly seeing (even if just digitally.)
Everytime you see them out, having fun, or posting about their new beau, it will be a knife into your heart.
Be strong and show yourself some self-love by NOT checking up on them and consistently self-sabotaging yourself.
Move Your Body
Get some feel good endorphins going and move your body.
Exercise is practically free therapy and will have you feeling incredible.
You don’t have to kill yourself in the gym to get this effect either. Even a 20 minute yoga session will have this effect.
Exercise has been proven to promote happiness and wellbeing.
So if you’re feeling emotionally down, grab your running shoes and get your body moving. I promise you, 30 minutes later you’ll feel much better.
If you’re struggling, this is a great time to prioritize yourself and start putting YOU first. Putting your physical health first will help your emotional wellbeing as well.
Therapy does not have to be saved for only the most serious of situations.
Many people can benefit from the help of a therapist. It can help to clear your mind and see things for what they are and for you to be given the right tools to deal with situations.
A therapist can help you find ways to emotionally detach from someone, and show you the reasons why it might be the healthiest decision for you.
You might be on the fence about whether emotionally distancing yourself is the right decision, and the therapist can help you decide on this.
A past relationship may have also taken quite a toll on you emotionally, and a therapist can help you pick up the pieces and move forward, finding ways to put yourself first and avoid being in the same situation in the future.
Emotionally Detaching Yourself
Deciding to emotionally detach yourself from someone, and then actually doing it, is no easy task. Sometimes though it is what is needed to protect yourself in a new relationship, or to distance yourself from someone who has hurt you in the past.
Put yourself first and keep your emotions protected and emotionally distance yourself from people and situations that are not healthy.
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