Relationships can be hard work. They are full of unexpected situations, and often don’t go the way we would have hoped. Nobody is perfect, but if you start noticing that your boyfriend doesn’t call when he says he will, you might begin to worry.
There are many different reasons why he might not call when he says he will, and the best way to deal with this is to not jump to conclusions.
Here are some tips on what to do, and how to find out what it really means when he doesn’t call.
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Says He Will Call & Doesn’t
The best thing to do in a situation is to stay calm, no matter how upset you are with him that he once again hasn’t called when he says he will.
Becoming upset, irritated, and angry can often lead to behavior that you might regret at a later stage, and if it is a genuine reason that he hasn’t called you, it could be something that actually ends your relationship.
As difficult as it might be, keep your cool, stay calm, and do not let your emotions dictate your behavior. It is fine to feel frustrated and upset, but do not let your emotions get the best of you, and possibly cause a further problem in your relationship.
Don’t Jump To Conclusions
It is so easy to jump to conclusions, “he isn’t calling because he is with someone else” or “he isn’t calling because he just doesn’t care anymore”, but the truth is that often he might not have phoned because he is busy, or he genuinely forgot.
Jumping to conclusions is a sure way to start an argument, and to put your head into a whirlwind. You might also ruin any trust you had between the two of you by accusing him of something he simply hasn’t done.
While oftentimes our gut feelings might turn out to be true, it is worth giving him the benefit of the doubt at first, especially if there is no reason for you to doubt him in the first place.
Men aren’t always as good at multitasking as women are, so it is likely that he was caught up in something else and has simply forgotten that he has promised to call.
Don’t Attack Him Straight Away
When he does eventually phone you, or if you manage to get hold of him, do not start by attacking him and questioning him on why he never called.
This is not a good way to start a phone call, and you will more than likely end up getting into an argument, and nothing will be resolved.
Pointing out to him over and over again that he didn’t live up to his promises is also an unhealthy habit in a relationship, and while he might be failing to live up to expectations on his part, pointing this out in a negative way repeatedly is not going to make him feel any better.
When he does finally call, stay calm and coolheaded and rather ask him gently what held him up, or why he didn’t call. You are more likely to get a straight answer this way, opposed to shouting at him the moment you answer the phone.
Conflict resolution goes a long way to a lasting relationship, and toxic behavior is one way to end it sooner!
Do Ask If Anything Is Wrong
If you have no reason to suspect that anything is going on behind the scenes, ask your boyfriend if something is wrong. He might be secretly battling with something that you aren’t aware of, such as issues at work or with friends.
He might feel okay to open up to you about these issues if you ask, and they might have been getting in the way of him phoning you when he promised.
If you do suspect that maybe there is a problem in the relationship, or that he has not been truthful with you, it is best to sit down in person and speak about this. Talking about something like this over the phone doesn’t always end well.
When someone has been unfaithful or is starting to feel like the relationship isn’t working anymore, it is best to get it out into the open, instead of both of you carrying on unhappily pretending that everything is okay.
Look For Other Signs
There will always be red flags in a relationship if something more serious is going on. Him not phoning you when he says he will might be the push you need to look for other signs that the relationship isn’t going well.
Look at the way he talks to you, has that changed? Is he spending more time away from you? Does he seem distant from you? All of these can show that something is going on, and instead of avoiding it, rather ask him to explain his behavior.
There is no point sticking out a relationship that isn’t working, so take a stand and ask what the problem might be.
Do Find Out If You’re A Priority
He might not be phoning you when he has said he will because you are not a priority in his life, and that is not okay.
While your relationship might not be ready for a more serious commitment yet, you still deserve the respect that you should get from your boyfriend. He should put you up there with his other priorities, and stick to the promises he makes you.
Some aspects of his life, such as school, college, work, or family are understandable, but if he blows off phone calls to sit on his console or to hang out with friends, you should start asking yourself if you are actually a priority to him.
Sometimes this could be a sign of his immaturity, and it might be something that he can fix over time if you help him. Otherwise, it is something he will not change, and you deserve better.
Do Keep Your Dignity
Don’t give up your self-respect to be with someone that doesn’t respect you. If he has no good reason as to why he didn’t call you when he said he would, and it is clear that he just doesn’t care, then you should pack your bags and move on.
It is never okay to give up your dignity in a relationship, and as difficult as it might be to leave, you deserve so much better, and you should remember your self-worth and instead find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and phone you when they say they will!
Talk It Out
The best way to resolve an issue in a relationship is to talk it out. Both of you need to be mature and be able to speak to each other about any issues you might have.
He may have forgotten to call you because he got caught up at work, or he simply forgot. Or he may not have called because there is something more serious going on.
You won’t be able to find out what it is if the both of you cannot talk about serious issues.
If you find that he isn’t capable of sitting down and talking things through like an adult, it might be time to rethink your relationship..
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