So much of a new relationship now happens over text. Schedules are busy and in place of being able to see each other all the time, texting is the next best option.
There is so much you can learn about someone over text, so many different conversations to have, and it is a great way to gauge your relationship.
The problem is when things start to go south and you suspect that he is losing interest. You might not be able to see each other, so you would have to determine how he feels over text.
This can be confusing, so to help you out, we have covered all the signs to look for that a guy is losing interest over text, what to look for, and how to spot the red flags…
Mandatory Disclaimer: We all lead busy lives! Someone not responding quickly isn’t necessarily a sign they’re losing interest. However, I do believe that if someone is truly interested in you, they will make it clear why they have been distant or busy. They won’t give you the bare minimum and expect you to be okay with it.
That isn’t to say that we can’t all display the signs below from time to time when life gets busy, but COMMUNICATION (or lack of) is huge when these situations do occur.
Now, with that out of the way (read: don’t email me all, “you’re wrong! I take forever to respond to texts and it’s just because I’m a bad texter.”) Let’s dive into the reasons below…
Signs A Guy Is Losing Interest Through Text
He Texts Less Often
So the first sign you need to look for is how often he texts you. If his frequency of texting has slowed down quite a bit, then it can be a sign that he is losing interest and does not feel that drive to be talking to you constantly anymore.
However, you need to approach this with caution because all relationships get to a stage where you do not speak 24/7. Other things become a priority instead of texting.
It could be that he has lost interest in you or the relationship, and texting you isn’t as exciting as it used to be. Or it could be that he feels settled and comfortable in the relationship and is getting on with work and other things without thinking it would have too much of an effect on you.
Unfortunately, getting comfortable is one of the major reasons a romantic relationship will begin to fail. Don’t be shy about vocalizing your needs or asking why he’s been distant.
Often times it isn’t that men lose interest, but they just get comfortable and stop putting in the effort they once did.
Note: When picking up that he is texting less often, you will need to look for other signs that he is not as interested in you as he used to be.
His Replies Become Short
When a guy is not interested in a relationship, he will not put much effort into keeping the conversation going or even put effort into his replies.
By the time he has lost interest, you will notice that his replies become short, dry, and even vague. He won’t spend time thinking up and typing out a longer message, because the truth is that he just couldn’t be bothered to do it.
You might ask him questions or send him long messages, only to be responded to with a short and non-exciting response. This can be quite disheartening and a huge sign the relationship may be in trouble.
Not only will his texts be short and vague, but they will be non-committal as well, avoiding making plans or agreeing to anything with you.
I don’t like to tell people what to do in these (who am I kidding?! I have so many opinions no one asked for), but I think this, out of all the other signs, should be the biggest red flag.
It isn’t just a sign he’s losing interest, it’s him giving you the absolute bare minimum to keep you hooked. This is breadcrumbing 101, and think you deserve better.
He Takes Ages To Reply
Where he usually replied straight away or at least quickly, he now takes ages to reply to you and EVEN THEN his replies are not worth the wait.
If there is no reason why he has taken long to reply, such as work, sports, family matters (and it’s an ongoing thing) shows a lack of interest.
Him taking forever to reply, especially once he has read your message, tells me that he does not see you as a priority and that he does not really care how he makes you feel.
This can be extremely frustrating to deal with! You are probably still really into him, aren’t fully sure or aware that he is pulling away, and you would want to know why he is doing this.
As tough as it might be, it is best to avoid texting him more and sending more messages just to get him to reply. That needy energy iisn’t attractive and will just make him run for the hills.
Think back on a time a guy demanded more time and attention from you? Was that attractive or did you run for the hills? Exactly.
If it becomes excessive and a pattern, and he really is taking advantage of your time, then you can send him a straight text message asking what his deal is. Rather this than being dragged along for no reason.
If he answers or not is irrelevant. No response is a response.
Read Next: When A Man Only Wants To See You Once A Week
He Always Says He’s Busy
When a guy loses interest the first excuse they start throwing around is ‘I’ve been really busy lately.”
Without fail that’s a go-to. And it may be that they are in fact busy, but it’s also a lack of interest and he’s just not prioritising you in his life anymore.
He was always ready and available to talk through text before, but now he claims he is always busy, and can’t find the time to give you his attention anymore.
He could take ages to reply, and when you try to engage in conversation, he says he is busy and can’t talk right then. Or, like previously pointed out, he takes forever to respond and then gives you the bare minimum when he does. Just, no.
It is understandable for him to be busy (we all are!), everyone has things they are busy with, but when it becomes a regular occurrence, and you know he isn’t really busy, it is not a good sign.
Give him some space at first because he might genuinely be busy or going through something that he is not ready or comfortable sharing with you, but after a while, you do need to consider whether he really is busy or if he is trying to put space between you. Trust your gut feeling here.
This will also pop up when you are trying to make plans to see him. He will claim that he has no free time, will ignore any plans you try to make, or cancel at the last minute. All of these point toward him losing interest.
Plus if you see he is ‘always busy’ but out dong fun things with other friends (and not inviting you,) then I think that is a crystal-clear sign of where the two of you stand.
(Ahem: you’re not a priority – go find someone who wants to spend time with you and doesn’t give you scraps. You deserve the whole cake!)
He Stops Asking Questions
Once he begins to lose interest in you and the relationship, then he will stop asking questions. He will lose his curiosity and stop trying to connect with you slowly.
Someone who is interested in you will ask you questions, whether it be about how your day was, what’s going on in your life, or what your favorite movie is.
Whatever the questions might be, it shows that they are interested in you and want to learn more about you.
However, once he isn’t interested anymore, then he won’t be bothered to get to know you anymore. Youmay notice the conversation will become very one-sided, with you doing all the asking and him sending vague, unemotive answers back.
Yawn. If he isn’t trying to build and emotional connection an it’s feeling one-sided, that’s definitely one of the bigger signs he’s losing interest.
The Sweet Talk Stops
Chatting to someone you are interested in over text will see them flirt, send sweet messages, and compliment you (hopefully at least!) When that person isn’t interested anymore, then this will all stop.
He will not send you compliments, he will not send thoughtful texts, and he will not put in any effort to try and win you over. His attention won’t be on you any longer, and this will definitely show by the way he speaks to you over text.
So, if you notice that his texts have turned from sweet and caring to bland and very generic, then it is a sign that he is no longer interested. Or at the very least, he is beginning to lose interest and does not want to woo you over as much anymore.
He Constantly Reschedules
It is difficult to say no to someone or to reschedule in person, but it is much easier to do it over text when you are not face-to-face with someone.
This is why, when he starts to lose interest, then you will notice that he cancels plans or reschedules more often over text. You’ll notice he really does what he can to avoid following through with plans.
This could be because he doesn’t feel like putting in the effort or he simply doesn’t want to see you anymore. Harsh, yes, but mincing words won’t do you any favors.
If he was interested, he would do everything he can to see you and meet up, even if he had to cancel other plans or make adjustments.
But once this fades, then your plans will be the one that takes the backseat, and he will constantly reschedule with you. Especially last minute at times, to avoid having to go through with it.
This really isn’t fair on you if it happens constantly, so after a while, you should message him and be straight up about it.
Let him know that it is fine if he isn’t interested, but he should not lead you on anymore. After that, move on yourself. But for real. Don’t just ignore him to get his attention, actually get up and leave.
The Random, Thoughtful Texts Stop
When you are interested in someone and have genuine feelings for them, then you would likely think of them during the day, and they will pop into your mind at random moments.
When this happens, most people would likely send them sweet, thoughtful texts during the day.
This will all stop or quieten down when he starts to lose interest. Other things will fill his mind during the day and you will no longer be his priority. This will show by him not sending these thoughtful little texts as much. Or at all.
It can be hard to accept this, as you will clearly notice the lack of effort and thought from his side, and if you are still into him and interested, it will feel like a breakup.
You can continue to send a thoughtful text or two, but if there is no reciprocation, then you’re better off stopping and finding a way to move on.
He Doesn’t Talk Over The Phone
His phone calls will also slowly become less frequent.
This is especially true if you try to phone him, especially when you know he is not busy and able to talk, only for him to not answer or decline the call.
He may then text you back instead of returning your phone call. This could be another indication that he really isn’t that interested and couldn’t be bothered to put in any effort to talk to you.
Some people don’t like talking over the phone and prefer texting, so only look for this sign if talking over the phone was something that you both used to do often. It’s the change in behavior that’s the indicator here.
His texts on why he hasn’t answered will also be vague and short if you even receive a text explaining why he can’t talk on the phone at all.
He Only Texts When He Needs Something
Have you noticed that he will only initiate conversation or text you when it is beneficial to him or when he needs something?
This isn’t just one of the major signs a guy is losing interest through text but that he doesn’t even value you as a friend. It’s pure self-interest.
He might even ignore other texts you have sent him, only to reply and ask for you to bring him something or ask you to do something for him. These texts will not be about your relationship, or even be about you, but just what he can get from you.
This really is not a great place to be in, and it is not fair to you. Not only is he stringing you along after losing interest, but he is taking advantage of you and your feelings.
Don’t be fooled either, he would likely manipulate you in these texts to pretend he still has feelings, only to get what he wants.
It might take some time to see through this, but when you notice the pattern appearing, then it could be time to rethink the situation.
He Picks Fights
Sometimes when someone loses interest in a relationship, they don’t want to take responsibility for their feelings and want to avoid taking any blame for losing interest.
To avoid this, he might start picking fights with you over texts. He could become very temperamental, aggressive, or dismissive n general.
He wouldn’t openly start a fight, but he would push all your buttons to get you to be angry first.
He would be doing this so that you are the one who decides to end the relationship so that he doesn’t have to.
This is such a childish, cowardly way to handle it, but unfortunately, it happens quite often once someone begins to lose interest.
He Becomes Secretive
The two of you used to share everything over text and there was nothing between you both that wasn’t open and out there.
But now, this has completely changed and he is starting to be more secretive about his life.
He hides his plans from you, does not share where he has been or what he has been doing, and avoids any conversation about other people or anything that might reveal too much.
You may even have an inkling feeling there are other women in his life.
This not only shows that he is losing interest but that he could be speaking to or seeing someone else on the side, which is definitely not something you want to have to go through.
Iit doesn’t take a relationship expert to see, this lack of communication and trust won’t lead to a healthy, happy relationship.
What To Do When He Is Losing Interest Over Text
When you notice the signs that he is beginning to lose interest over text, there are two things you can do.
One is to be open and direct. Ask him why he is acting differently.
If there is a genuine reason, such as a problem in his personal life or stress at work, then deal with it from there.
However, if he cannot be open and honest, and it appears that he is just losing interest, cut ties with him and move on. You deserve so much better.
The other option is to simply evaluate the relationship and the direction it’s going. Do you see a future with him?
Is the way he’s acting and treating you something you’re okay with long-term? To be completely frank, sometimes you do have these open and honest conversations, and they fix things… For a week. Or a couple of months.
And then, they go back to their default settings. So if this is something that has happened multiple times since you started dating, I’d suggest ending it, stopping texting him and going find someone who is consistent with you.
Life’s too short to be left wondering and putting up with lame excuses.