You will make friends throughout your life, and the friends you make as an adult will be different from the friends you make in your teens. As you mature, your relationships mature too, and you might lose some friends along the way.
However, sometimes we can be guilty of making friends with very similar people and you might find that you keep attracting friends who are jealous of you.
Friends should be supportive and caring, and jealousy is not something that should be a big factor in a friendship. It is important to remember that not all jealousy has to be the end of a friendship, but it should not cause a toxic relationship either.
If you are asking yourself why you attract jealous friends, keep reading to find out a little more on why this might happen, and what you can do to help your friendships!
Attracting Jealous Friends
You might be left a bit confused as to why your friends always end up becoming jealous of you, and this could either lead to friendship breakups or strained relationships.
It is difficult to believe that of all the friends you make, they all end up being jealous. There are more than enough people out there to land up with non-jealous friends, but you alwaysseem to fit this category.
The first thing you need to consider is if you are over-reacting. If you are looking for recognition and looking to stand out amongst others, you might be looking for friends to feel jealous of you.
This seems a little odd, but for many, jealousy makes them feel better about themselves, knowing that others are envious of their life. It is their way to validate their success and their life, and often seek out people who will give them this validation.
Consider if this might be you, even if it is something you find difficult to admit. Without even realizing it, you might gravitate towards people who you think haven’t been as successful as you, or who you might think could become jealous of you.
This isn’t always the case, but it is something that you should think about!
What To Look Out For In Jealous Friends
You might be a bit unsure as to whether or not your friends are really jealous of you, but there are some ways to figure out whether they are jealous or not.
Here is what to look for:
They Downgrade Your Achievements
A friend who is jealous of you will not be as happy about all of your achievements as a true friend should. You might be really excited to let your friend know something that has happened, only for them to play it down and make you feel bad about it.
They would diminish your happiness and your success, all because of jealousy. They could even then turn it around and try to upstage your success with a story of their own, even bringing up something that happened ages ago, just to make themselves feel better.
They Give Backhanded Compliments
Often, the first signs of jealousy show with backhanded compliments. Your friend will compliment you on something, but there will be an insult or something similar thrown in there as well. Passive-aggressiveness will rear its head often!
A backhanded compliment might be something along the lines of “oh your makeup looks so nice, I can’t believe how it is hiding your uneven skin tone”, or “well done on the test result, it must have been really easy”
In a way, they are acknowledging your achievement or paying some compliment to something deserving, but just to spite their jealousy, they bring you down a notch as well.
They Don’t Really Listen
A jealous friend will not truly listen to you when you talk, especially when talking about yourself and something that you have achieved.
They might pretend to listen, but will be distracted, looking at their phone or not answering as they should. This is their way to avoid dealing with your success, while still pretending to be your friend throughout it all.
Why Your Friends Are Jealous
It is important to understand why your friends might be jealous, and why you might only be attracting jealous friends.
There are a few possible explanations for this, and you would have to determine which one most closely relates to your life, to hopefully make some changes afterward.
You Attract Pessimistic Friends
You might not be aware of the fact that you attract pessimistic friends. You might have a fairly pessimistic outlook on life, and that would lead to you attracting like-minded friends.
It would not be that you attract jealous friends, but those who have a negative outlook on life. Often, people with a negative outlook on life do have the tendency to be jealous of others, and rather focus their energy on being jealous instead of chasing their own success.
They will dismiss your successes and always come up with reasons to bring you down. They will also be negative when you try to suggest ways for them to better themselves as well.
You Are Successful
Some people are just successful, happy, and comfortable in themselves. If this is you, then it might be natural for others to be jealous of you. Figuring out life and everything in between can be difficult, and if you seem as though you have everything put together, it can cause envy.
This isn’t your fault at all really, but it can be difficult for others who have not achieved what they wanted to, beingaround others who have it all. They could become your friend thinking they might achieve more when around you, only for it to turn into jealousy.
You Show Off A Little Too Much
This can be a bit of a blurred line, as you should definitely be allowed to celebrate your successes and be happy with where you are, but you also need to consider your friend and how they feel.
If your friend is going through a particularly rough spot, then showing off about your relationship or promotion might be really difficult for them to hear. Friendship is about celebrating each other, but it is also about understanding and knowing when to hold back.
It could also be that you are just a very open, honest person, and you do not hold back on the achievements you have made. For some people, this is fine as they are comfortable in their own lives, but for others, it can be difficult to be around someone like this.
Jealousy Is Not Always Bad
You might be confusing jealousy with competitiveness with your friends, and competitiveness, even when born out of jealousy, is not always such a bad thing.
It is always good to have a bit of friendly competition, as it is what motivates and keeps you pushing the boundaries. Competition between friends, when healthy, can help you both achieve things you might not have been motivated to achieve before, and it can result in some great success and a healthier friendship.
This however only works when friends are supportive of each other through competitiveness, and successes are shared and positive. When the competitiveness turns bitter and one friend tries to bring another down, it can become quite toxic.
Knowing When To Back Away From Jealous Friends
You need to recognize when jealous friendships become unhealthy, and when you should back away. There is no point in keeping someone in your life who tries to bring you down, and who isn’t happy for your successes, but you also do not want to just rid yourself of friendships either.
When a friendship becomes too much work, and you feel drained after spending time with your friend and feel as though you cannot go to them with good news without them bringing you down, then it might be worthwhile to spend less time around them.
There is a good chance that their jealousy stems from issues and insecurities they are experiencing in their own life, and you aren’t likely to change that just by staying friends and almost acting as their emotional punching bag.
Your successes should be celebrated and you should not be made to feel guilty for your achievements, and even just for being happy, and a friend who makes you feel this way is not really a friend at the end of the day.
Why Do I Attract Jealous Friends?
There are many different reasons why you might attract jealous friends, and you will have to take a deep look at who you are and the type of people you hold close to work out what the reason might be.
You might attract pessimistic people, who are more inclined to be jealous of those around them, or you might just be very successful naturally, the people around you might be envious.
It is also important to understand the difference between jealousy and friendly competition, to know when a friendship is unhealthy, and when it can be good to motivate you further.
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