Relationships change as time goes on, and sometimes not for the better! Your once fun and exciting boyfriend might now just prefer sitting around doing nothing in the evenings or on weekends, and this could be driving you crazy!
If your boyfriend now never wants to have fun, you might feel like something has gone wrong, or your relationship is stuck at a dead end.
To help you get through this frustrating stage, here is some advice on what to do when your boyfriend never wants to go out, and why he might be acting this way!
Why Your Boyfriend Never Wants To Do Anything
There might be many reasons why your boyfriend might not want to go out, but there are some things to look out for that might indicate why he is acting this way.
Here are the top 5 reasons why guys suddenly start showing a lack of effort and stop being fun!
He Is Experiencing Stress
Men are not always as good at dealing with stress and emotions. Your boyfriend might be the type of person who shuts down when there is stress in his life.
This could be anything from problems at work to issues in his family. He might not tell you about these problems because he is trying to process them on his own, and this stress could be causing him to not want to go out, leaving you clueless as to why.
When did he start not wanting to go out? Was anything happening in his personal life?
Or has it been a slow progression over time?
It’s natural to be withdrawn when you are overwhelmed and not feeling like your best self.
Is he withdrawn from everyone or does he still go out with his friends? Is he still social just not with you? (MAJOR🚩 RED FLAG🚩 ALERT IF SO)
He Enjoys Doing Different Things
Your boyfriend might have indulged the things you wanted to do when you started dating because he wanted to spend time with you and even impress you.
But now that the two of you are more serious, he doesn’t feel the need to do this anymore.
He has stopped ‘courting’ you, so to speak.
It could simply be the case that he does not want to do the things you want to do and this comes across in the wrong way when he says he doesn’t want to go out.
The Spark Is Gone
You might find that the romantic spark the two of you shared once upon a time has now gone.
This spark is what would have driven the two of you to spend as much time together as possible, and without it, there is no motivation for him to go out and have fun with you.
This is quite a serious issue that needs to be addressed and is something that will definitely not get better on its own.
You Spend Too Much Time Together
It could be the case that you are excited to spend all your time together, but he does not. He might be the type of person that likes to spend time on his own.
You will both need to meet in the middle and find a way to compromise how much time you spend together versus how much time you want to spend together.
You might need to just give him a little bit of space to be on his own.
He Is Comfortable
Your boyfriend might think that he has done all he needs to do to keep you around and that he does not need to put any more effort into the relationship.
This could very quickly lead to him being lazy and not feeling like he needs to spend as much time with you doing the things you want.
It is a good idea to let him know that this is not okay and that a relationship takes constant work and effort.
If he refuses to put any effort back into the relationship, as he takes you for granted, it may be time to rethink things!
The Relationship Is Over For Him
Actions speak louder than words.
If he’s not putting in effort, taking you out, or doing absolutely ANYTHING it could very much be the relationship is over for him.
He just hasn’t taken the time to discuss it or formally end it.
And why would he? He’s putting in no effort but getting all the boyfriend benefits of companionship, sex, love, etc.
So of course he’ll keep putting the least amount of effort imaginable until he finds someone he fancies more, gets the balls to end it, or you finally decide ‘enough is enough‘ and walk away yourself.
(Psssst… I like option 3 the most)
Tips To Handle A Boyfriend’s Lack Of Effort
Once you have a bit of an idea of why your boyfriend might never want to go out or have fun, you can start looking for ways to handle his lack of effort.
Here are some of the best tips you can use to work through this, and hopefully motivate him back to being a fun person again!
Talk To Him
One of the simplest things you can do is talk to him. Ask him what is going on, and why he doesn’t want to do things with you anymore. Sometimes open communication is the best medicine, and it might be just what you need to work through any issues.
He might just need you to ask, and then feel comfortable letting you know why he is acting this way.
See It From His Side
It can be difficult, but you could try to see the situation from his side. This doesn’t mean that you need to let him off with his behavior, but you might be able to understand his perspective better.
Think about what might be going on in his life at the moment, and see how you would feel in that situation. He might react differently to things than what you do, but try your best to see it from his side.
Try Doing Something New
Maybe he is really just not interested in the things that you want to do, and maybe the both of you trying something new together will get him excited to go out again.
Try to suggest a new activity for the both of you to do together, something that you have not done before, that might sound appealing to him.
Look at local cooking classes if he likes food, or try a road trip to an attraction close by that might be attractive to him. Changing things up might shake him up and get him moving again!
At the end of the day, it might be nothing that you have done or nothing that you can do, and it is just that he is not the one.
By being honest with yourself and seeing your relationship from a new perspective, you might find that you are co-dependent on him, and he knows he has this control over you.
This isn’t healthy, and you deserve so much better. Accept what you cannot change, and do not put so much pressure on yourself to try and make him happier, when it is something he is not willing to do.
What Do I Do If My Boyfriend Never Wants To Anything?
So you talked to him, you looked at things from his perspective, and you had an open and honest conversation like two mature adults.
Let’s assume he responded well and understood where you were coming from. He may have apologized and promised to try harder to spend time with you.
But now some time has passed and he’s back to where he was before.
AGAIN, he doesn’t seem to want to go out or do anything. Do you talk things out once more?
At this point in time, you have already communicated your needs. He knows what you want and expect from this relationship.
If he is refusing to meet those expectations, that’s fine.
But now YOU need to ask yourself if this is the relationship you want to be in.
He won’t change. If you want a partner to go out with, have fun, and have new experiences with, this man is probably not it.
If you don’t want to break up with him just yet (I get it, breakups suck! Although I do encourage you to just rip the bandaid quick), then just take a step back from him.
Don’t tell him why. Just start doing your own thing. You already expressed wanting to go out more, so you don’t owe him any explanations. You’re just not going to sit and wait around for him anymore.
Go out to dinners. Go to the movies. Enjoy your own company!!
There’s no reason you can’t go out and do all the things you want to do with your boyfriend with your friends or even alone.
If he truly cares about your relationship, the distance will help him get his act together.
And if he doesn’t, it will make it easier to end things. Win-Win.
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