The dating game is tough, and there are a million and one little things to worry about. Through all the nervousness and hope that comes with a new relationship, one of the most common issues you might find is a breakdown in communication.
You might always be wanting to talk to him, but you feel as though this is very one-sided. If you find yourself constantly texting first and him only replying to your text after this, it could cause you to think that he is maybe not as interested as you would have hoped. Normally, when a man doesn’t text you first it means he’s simply not that into you.
But, in order to help you work through this and to better figure out where your relationship might be going (if anywhere), I have found some common reasons he won’t text you first, but why he always responds.
Why Won’t He Text Me First
He Isn’t Very Interested
This is a tough one to take in, but to be quite blunt, he might not be texting first because he really isn’t that interested. Now, this isn’t to say that this is the case all of the time, but it is something to consider if you don’t want to waste your effort on someone who isn’t worth it.
For someone you have just started talking to, it is best that you have caught this early on and stopped yourself developing more feelings for them. If it is your boyfriend or husband, it is a good idea to talk to them about this, as it could be a sign that there is a bigger issue at play.
He Doesn’t Want To Commit
Commitment issues are so common in early relationships. He might feel that texting you first means that he is locked down only to you, and this idea could scare him off.
Whether he is afraid of commitment or afraid of leading you on when he doesn’t want a long-term relationship, this is something to consider.
It might be awkward approaching someone with this when you have only been on a few dates, but you deserve to know.
He Doesn’t Know What To Say
Some guys are just not good at pickup lines and starting conversations, and he might just never text you first because he does not know what to say. I
t might take him longer to figure out how to start a conversation with you, and before he comes up with something, you have already texted him first.
If he replies to your texts soon after you send them, and does so in a happy and engaging manner, take this as a good sign. If he really was not interested in you, his replies would probably be short and disinterested, or he might not even text you back at all.
He will most likely take some time to figure out what to say to start conversations first, so don’t rush him!
He Is Simply Busy
Life is busy, and sometimes sending the first text, or even getting to think of sending the first text, just does not fit into the day.
Depending on his lifestyle, whether he is studying, working, or even busy with kids, he might just not have the time to think about texting or engaging in a text conversation. It should be easy to see if this is the reason, especially if he does take time to reply, but his replies still seem positive.
If he is taking time out of his busy life to respond to you, it is a good sign that he is interested, you will both just need to work around a busy schedule going forward.
He Is Playing Hard To Get
People still like to play hard to get, and he might think this is a great tactic to use to win you over. It is incredibly frustrating, especially when you want to know whether or not he is interested, so you know whether you are wasting your time or not.
It is never fun to feel as though you are chasing after someone, and if he is making you feel this way, the best thing you could do is call him out on it. Don’t be aggressive and don’t lay blame, as that is no way to start a relationship, but let him know that you are interested but you will not be the one always making an effort, and if he is interested in you, he needs to show it!
He Relies On Your First Text
He might just very well be lazy and know that you will always be the one texting first. It saves him the effort of thinking of something to say and saves him having to remember to text you.
This really isn’t fair and means that you are putting more work in than he is, and if you have only just started dating, is not a good sign of things to come.
One way to test this theory is just to stop texting, and see how he reacts. If they eventually text and ask why you haven’t bothered to text first, you know that they were just waiting around for you to make the first move!
He Is Not A Texter
Some people just do not like talking over text or over the phone. He might be a little old-fashioned and prefer to speak to you in person.
This can actually be a positive sign, as being in contact with someone 24/7 isn’t always a good thing. It also shows that he values you as a person, and does not just want someone who he can text while he stays up at night or when he is bored.
He Is Shy
It might be that he is shy and is nervous to text first because he does not want to come across as annoying or desperate. He might be really interested in you but does not want to scare you off.
It is a good idea to let him know you are interested and that you look forward to his texts, so he feels more comfortable starting conversations instead of you having to do it all the time!
There are many reasons why he never texts firsts, but always responds, and these reasons can be either positive or negative. In general, I would say men who don’t text you first are just not that into you. They are placing you in the ‘after-thought’ category.
But if you don’t want to jump to conclusions, it is always better to find out early on if he is truly interested in you. You don’t want to be wasting your time and effort on someone who is just looking for some casual entertainment when you want something more substantial.
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