107+ Funny Things To Say To A Narcissist (Bruise Their EGO)

Dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging task. Their self-centered behavior and lack of empathy can make it easy for them to hurt those around them.

However, there are ways to shut down a narcissist, and it involves targeting their ego.

In this article, we have compiled a list of clever and funny things to say to a narcissist.

Whether it’s a family member, friend, or lover, we hope these hilarious comebacks will help you bring your narcissist back down to earth. Just be prepared for their self-defense and insulting comeback.

Funny Things To Say To A Narcissist

Dealing with a narcissist can be a real challenge. They always want to be the center of attention and are experts on everything.

If you’re tired of their self-absorbed behavior, try using these funny comebacks to shut them down.

• No sponge in the world could beat your abilities of self-absorption. This comeback is perfect for when a narcissist is talking about themselves too much.
• Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither. Use this comeback when a narcissist is giving unwanted advice or opinions.
• I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies. How silly of me. This comeback is great for when a narcissist expects everyone to cater to their needs.
• Sorry you feel that way. Let me buy you a nice cup of get over it. Use this comeback when a narcissist is complaining about something trivial.
• I’m sorry. I must have mistaken you for someone who actually cares. This comeback is perfect for when a narcissist is being insensitive or uncaring.
• You must be really proud of yourself! Use this comeback when a narcissist is bragging about their accomplishments.
• Keep rolling your eyes. You might eventually find a brain. This comeback is great for when a narcissist is being dismissive or condescending.
• Did my self-absorption get in the way of yours? Use this comeback when a narcissist is being selfish or inconsiderate.
• You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off? This comeback is perfect for when a narcissist is being rude or mean.
• Isn’t there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of? Use this comeback when a narcissist is being overly dramatic or attention-seeking.
• Please, keep talking. I only yawn when I’m super fascinated. This comeback is great for when a narcissist is being boring or uninteresting.
• You must be exhausted from all that ego-lifting. Use this comeback when a narcissist is being boastful or arrogant.
• Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case. This comeback is perfect for when a narcissist is being fake or insincere.
• Yeah, let’s ignore everything I said and talk about you more. Use this comeback when a narcissist is being self-centered or ignoring your input.
• Someday you’ll go far, and I really hope you stay there. This comeback is great for when a narcissist is being annoying or frustrating.
• There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that. Use this comeback when a narcissist is being ignorant or foolish.
• Yeah, sorry for forgetting I only exist when you want something. This comeback is perfect for when a narcissist is being demanding or selfish.
• You’re so full of yourself – it’s amazing you don’t float away! Use this comeback when a narcissist is being overly confident or arrogant.
• Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor. This comeback is great for when a narcissist is being ridiculous or absurd.
• I’m sorry. I must have forgotten that you’re an expert on everything. Use this comeback when a narcissist is being know-it-all or arrogant.
• I bet you love hearing yourself talk! This comeback is perfect for when a narcissist is being talkative or not listening to others.
• Why did you cross the road? You must have thought it was a boundary. Use this comeback when a narcissist is being invasive or overstepping boundaries.
• Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. This comeback is great for when a narcissist is being vain or overly concerned with appearance.
• Unless your name is Google, don’t act like you know everything. Use this comeback when a narcissist is being overly confident or dismissive of others’ opinions.
• Unfortunately, narcissism is not a crime, so you’re free to go. This comeback is perfect for when a narcissist is being annoying or frustrating.
• You’re such a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful person. Oh, I’m sorry, I thought we were having a lying competition. Use this comeback when a narcissist is being insincere or fake.
• Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was all about you. This comeback is great for when a narcissist is being self-centered or ignoring others.
• Feed your ego yourself. I am busy doing important things. Use this comeback when a narcissist is being demanding or needy.

Read Next: 43+ Red Flags In Men: Spotting Mr. WRONG

Short Funny Comebacks For Narcissists

Sometimes, the best way to deal with a narcissist is to use humor. Here are some short and witty comebacks that can leave a narcissist speechless:

• Hit the brakes, speedy. This comeback is perfect for when a narcissist is bragging about their accomplishments or talking too much. It implies that they need to slow down and take a break.
• Where’s your off button? This comeback is great for when a narcissist won’t stop talking about themselves. It implies that they are like a machine that needs to be turned off.
• Wow, you must be really special! This comeback is sarcastic and implies that the narcissist is not as special as they think they are.
• You’d leave if I threw a stick, right? This comeback is perfect for when a narcissist is being selfish or not considering others. It implies that they are easily distracted and not committed to anything.
• Wow, I bet you even fart glitter! This comeback is sarcastic and implies that the narcissist thinks they are perfect and flawless.
• It’s not all about you. This comeback is straightforward and implies that the narcissist needs to be more considerate of others.
• Narcissism is a disease. Get well soon. This comeback is humorous and implies that the narcissist has a problem that needs to be fixed.
• Have a nice day – somewhere else. This comeback is perfect for when a narcissist is being rude or annoying. It implies that they need to leave and go bother someone else.

Remember, using humor is not always the best approach when dealing with a narcissist. However, if used appropriately, it can be an effective way to handle their behavior.

What To Say To A Narcissist To Shut Them Down

When dealing with a narcissist, it can be challenging to find the right words to say.

However, there are certain phrases that can disarm them and shut them down.

Here are some of the best examples:

1. “I’m no astronomer, but I’m sure the earth revolves around the sun, not you.” This comeback is a silent killer that highlights the narcissist’s self-centeredness.
2. “You live life like it’s all about you. Why do you think you’re alone?” This phrase points out the narcissist’s self-absorption and how it affects their relationships.
3. “Well, I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.” This phrase challenges the narcissist’s opinion without being confrontational.
4. “Your face is just fine, but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality.” This comeback is a humorous way to address the narcissist’s toxic personality.
5. “I guess if you actually ever spoke your mind, you’d really be speechless.” This phrase highlights the narcissist’s tendency to talk without saying anything meaningful.
6. “Thanks for reminding me why nobody likes you. I almost forgot.” This comeback exposes the narcissist’s unlikable qualities.
7. “I think you might be overestimating your importance here.” This phrase challenges the narcissist’s inflated sense of self-importance.
8. “So, if I typed ‘smartass’ into Google, would your picture come up?” This comeback is a witty way to address the narcissist’s arrogance.
9. “Oh boy, you are never there for us because since everything is run by the presence of your grace, you simply do not have time for other people.” This phrase exposes the narcissist’s lack of empathy and how it affects their relationships.
10. “Oh, I’m sorry. I must have misunderstood you. I thought you said something intelligent.” This comeback challenges the narcissist’s intelligence without being confrontational.
11. “If you live your life like everything is about you, you will be left with just that: just you.” This phrase highlights the consequences of the narcissist’s self-centeredness.
12. “A pretty face is nothing if you have an ugly heart.” This comeback exposes the narcissist’s unattractive personality traits.
13. “That’s an interesting perspective. Now how about we focus on reality for a moment?” This phrase challenges the narcissist’s distorted view of reality.

Remember that these phrases won’t immediately show that your words have affected the narcissist, but they won’t be able to hide it for too long.

Use them wisely and with patience.

Read Next: 5 Reasons Situationship Breakups Hurt More Than Actual Relationships

Good Comebacks to Insult A Narcissist

If you’re dealing with a narcissist, you know how frustrating it can be to communicate with them.

They always think they’re right, and they never take responsibility for their actions.

But sometimes, you just have to put them in their place. Here are some great comebacks to insult a narcissist:

1. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Could you repeat it slower and louder? I want to make sure I understand what an idiot you’re being.” This is a great way to make the narcissist feel stupid and insecure.
2. “You know what your problem is? You don’t know you are the problem.” This is a clever way to point out that the narcissist is the source of their own problems.
3. “Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of trash. Oh, sorry, did that hurt your inflated ego?” This is a witty way to insult the narcissist’s appearance and ego.
4. “I have met some pricks in my time, but you, sir, are a cactus!” This is a hilarious way to insult the narcissist’s prickly personality.
5. “Sorry, I don’t understand a thing you say. I don’t speak bullsh*t.” This is a blunt way to call out the narcissist’s lies and nonsense.
6. “Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma?” This is a dark and sarcastic way to insult the narcissist’s behavior.
7. “I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.” This is a clever way to insult the narcissist’s personality.
8. “The jerk store called… they’re running out of you.” This is a funny way to insult the narcissist’s behavior.
9. “Aaaand that’s why no one likes you.” This is a straightforward way to insult the narcissist’s personality.
10. “Brains aren’t everything; in your case, they’re nothing.” This is a clever way to insult the narcissist’s intelligence.
11. “Clean your mouth. There is still some trash around your lips.” This is a witty way to insult the narcissist’s appearance and behavior.
12. “Get over yourself. Not everyone wants to be in your shoes.” This is a straightforward way to insult the narcissist’s behavior.
13. “I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.” This is a clever way to insult the narcissist’s personality.
14. “Can you repeat that because I want to remember the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard?” This is a funny way to insult the narcissist’s intelligence.
15. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak douchebag.” This is a blunt way to insult the narcissist’s behavior.
16. “You’re so ugly that when you look in the mirror, your reflection looks away.” This is a mean way to insult the narcissist’s appearance.
17. “If I wanted to listen to an ass, I’d fart.” This is a clever way to insult the narcissist’s personality.

Remember, when dealing with a narcissist, it’s important to stay calm and collected. Don’t let them get the best of you, and don’t stoop to their level. These comebacks are a great way to put them in their place, but use them sparingly and only when necessary.

How Do You Make A Narcissist Miserable?

Dealing with a narcissist can be a real challenge. They crave attention and validation from others, and will do anything to get it. If you want to make a narcissist miserable, you need to get under their skin.

The best way to do this is by simply ignoring them. Narcissists can’t stand being ignored, as they need to be the center of attention at all times. By denying them the attention they crave, you are punishing them in the worst possible way.

A successful strategy to unsettle a narcissist involves abruptly ending the relationship and ceasing all communication.

This approach of ignoring them can be particularly impactful, as they are accustomed to imposing such behavior on others, not experiencing it themselves.

It’s important to remember that no matter what a narcissist does, you shouldn’t let it affect you. They may try to convince you that they’ve changed, but don’t fall for their trap. If you do, you’ll find yourself back in their narcissistic claws again.

Here are some tips to make a narcissist miserable:

• Ignore them completely
• Cut off all contact with them
• Don’t let their behavior affect you
• Stay strong and don’t give in to their manipulations

Remember, dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, but by following these tips, you can make them miserable and take back control of your life.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, but using these funny things to say to a narcissist can help you take control of the situation. Remember, narcissists often believe they are perfect and cannot be hurt, so these comebacks will catch them off guard.

However, it’s important to note that while these comebacks can be satisfying, they may not be the best solution for everyone. If you are dealing with a narcissist who has caused you significant harm, it may be best to seek professional help and distance yourself from the situation.

If you do choose to use these comebacks, be prepared for potential backlash. Narcissists may become angry or defensive when their ego is challenged. Always prioritize your safety and well-being, and don’t engage in any behavior that could put you in harm’s way.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Don’t allow anyone, especially a narcissist, to make you feel otherwise.