Dating a cop is very different from dating someone who works a normal nine to five job. There are commitments, worries, and trials that you would never have even thought a relationship could bring.
While there are difficulties that come with dating a cop, and a lot you need to think about before making the commitment, there are also some great benefits too.
When dating a cop, you are dating more than just the badge, and the person behind it can be just the right person for you, and offer love and loyalty to the relationship, to help through all the difficult parts.
If you are on the precipice of a relationship with a cop, and really like the person behind the badge, but are unsure of what the life might bring, it will definitely help you to read through the below benefits and difficulties that come with dating a cop.
The Cons Of Dating A Cop
We are going to start by outlining the cons of dating a cop. This isn’t because we want to scare you off, but dating a cop can be difficult, and it is so important that you understand the negatives that come along with it.
Once you have read the cons, you can go on to read the benefits of dating a cop, to really see if it is worth it for you or not.
Of course, this list isn’t cut-and-dried. Every relationship with a cop isn’t going to be the exact same. These are just some similarities you may find when dating a cop. Some shared experiences when I’ve asked girlfriends who are dating and married to policemen.
This isn’t based on science. There is no data to be collected. It’s all anecdotal.
And even though I put that disclaimer out there, I know I’m going to get some angry emails who don’t agree with this article. Oh well.. Let’s get started...
Here are the cons of dating a cop:
Being the partner to a cop definitely comes with anxiety, and even with the strongest person, this anxiety is unavoidable.
Every time your partner leaves for a shift, you will have the question in the back of your mind whether they are going to come home or not, or if they are at risk of being injured.
Not only does this anxiety weigh you down, but it also leads to feelings of helplessness. You can’t be there to help them if something goes wrong, and you just have to wait for them to walk through the door at the end of their shift to really know if they are okay or not.
Even cops that work in the safest areas can be at risk, so while the anxiety might be less when they do work in calmer environments, it never really goes away.
It Can Be Lonely
A cop’s schedule can be crazy, and they might have to work overtime or work alternating shifts that just never match up with yours.
For this reason, it can be lonely dating a cop. The time you spend together can be amazing, but when he inevitably leaves to go to work, the loneliness can creep in.
There also isn’t the option of visiting him at work, and seeing your partner at work could mean you’ve got yourself into trouble – so it is better to avoid!
The shifts can be long and can be erratic, and you might find yourself going for ages without having quality time with them.
Upside Down Schedules
Not all cops are lucky enough to have set schedules, and he won’t be able to choose when he works and when he is at home with you. Saturdays and Sundays can very well be working days for him, and this really is something you would have to get used to.
He might work night shifts, which means you are home alone at night, and he is asleep during the day. It could also be that he is in a position where he could be called out at any point during the day or night, crime doesn’t stick to a schedule!
They Face Trauma
One thing that is often ignored is that cops face some real trauma when working, and when they do face these traumas, they are often expected to just carry on as normal.
The work they do comes at a heavy cost, and this is sometimes translated back into the home, and it can be a real strain on a relationship. You need to be very sure that you are prepared to be there for your partner to support them and understand them when they go through these traumas, and offer the healing and love they need to get through it.
They Can Be Controlling
A police officer needs to be in constant control of a situation when working because if they are not, it can be extremely dangerous.
For some cops, it is difficult to leave this mentality when they leave their shift, and it can cause them to have a controlling personality at home.
This is not always a bad thing if it is not extreme, but it can mean that your partner is wanting to be in constant control. For some people, this dynamic works well, but if you are a strong-minded person and don’t want to be controlled, it can lead to conflict.
There Isn’t Always Complete Openness
There are going to be things that your partner can just not talk to you about when it comes to their work, and as they will spend a lot of time working, this means that there is a big portion of their life that they cannot talk to you about.
You are going to have to learn to just ignore that part of them so that it does not become a problem. You need to try and keep your curiosity to yourself and not push them to talk about things that they simply cannot.
They Can Be Overprotective
While some people might think that an overprotective partner might be a good thing, it can definitely be a negative as well.
A cop is trained to protect everyone, and this feeling of protection will be stronger for the people that they love. Their love will only enhance the need they feel to protect you, and it might even become quite a serious concern for them, after seeing negative things at work.
The overprotectiveness that a cop might feel or display towards their partner can cross the line to be toxic and unhealthy and might prevent you from living your life the way you want and doing the things you want to do.
They might not let you have the freedom to go out at night with friends, or constantly be checking up on you to see if you are okay. This can build up to be quite a serious issue and is not a healthy trait to deal with.
The Pros Of Dating A Cop
Don’t let the cons of dating a cop put you off before you learn all the great pros that you will experience too!
Not all cops will show the negative traits explained above, and the right person can make the long hours and absences worth it, by being a loving and caring partner.
Here are some of the benefits you will experience dating a cop:
You Will Feel Safe
One of the best benefits of dating a cop is that you will always feel safe when you are with them. They are literally protectors of everyone, so you will be in good hands! Whether you hear a noise in the middle of the night or are going out to a late dinner – having your cop by your side just means an added safety net.
A cop will also be able to give you some good tips on how to protect yourself when you are out on your own, and when you have them on speed dial, you just feel that extra bit of safety.
Your cop partner will likely be protective over you as well, and as long as this doesn’t become healthy, it can be a really comforting feeling.
You Can Feel Proud
You can be so proud of your partner, who risks their lives daily to serve and protect members of the community.
It is a great honor to support a cop and to be the strength they need at home, and to know that you are giving them the love and support they need when they are with you, to get through the tough days, and to be the best police officer they can be.
Often cops go way above and beyond their jobs to give back to members of their communities, and if this is your partner, it can be such a great feeling. You might also be able to find ways to get involved in giving back through his work.
They Are Natural Leaders
Cops are pillars of a community and are very respected members of society. This gives them a sense of leadership and responsibility, and this often translates into their personality.
You can be sure that you can depend on your cop partner to be a leader and pillar in your relationship and make hard decisions and just be dependable.
Cops don’t have time or luxury to be hesitant or a follower, so they need to be strong and resilient, and these can be great traits to have in a partner. They will be there through thick and thin and not be scared off by some minor problems or inconveniences.
Some of the traits that make a great cop also make a great partner, and with the right person, this can be the best combination.
They Are Not Selfish
Cops put their lives on the line daily for people they don’t even know, and this becomes a part of who they are, and this selflessness becomes stronger for the people that they love.
A cop is most likely to put the needs and feelings of their partners first, and will always make sure that you are happy before they are.
As long as it is a mutual understanding and you offer your partner love and support, they will do what they can to cater to your needs and make sure you are happy.
You Have Space In The Relationship
For some people, a cop working long and erratic hours can be a con, but for an independent person who loves their own space, this can be a good thing.
You might love the time you get on your own, and you might like having the space to work towards your own dreams and accomplishments.
Time apart when you both keep busy and enjoy your own space, only makes the time you spend together that much more special and means that you will both make the most of every moment when you do see each other.
Good Physical Health
Cops are required to go through different physical training regimes to get through the academy and the job can be a physically demanding one as well.
For this reason, most cops are in good shape and have good physical health. If fitness and physical attributes are important to you, then this is a bonus. It also means that are in good shape to make the physical part of the relationship really enjoyable!
They Are Brave
A cop needs to be brave to face the requirements of the job daily, and having a partner who is brave makes such a difference in so many scenarios.
Being brave means that he will be by your side no matter what, and you can trust that he will help you through any situation. It also means he is trained to get through hard situations with a calm and logical mind.
Dating A Cop
Dating a cop will not be like dating anyone else. There are so many different aspects to the relationship, not to mention the threat on their lives daily.
It can be difficult adjusting to the schedule and the loneliness that might come with it, as well as the stress that your partner might experience through their work. However, through it all, with the right partner, you can experience some of the greatest things when dating a cop.
They can be brave, protective, and so trustworthy. You can be sure that you will always have a strong partner by your side, as long as you are up for being strong, supportive, and understanding for them too.