You’ve met someone new, whether in person or online, and some sparks have flown, and he sends you a text! You get excited, think of the perfect reply, hit send, and then… nothing.
It can be so confusing when a guy texts you first and then ignores you. What is his game plan? Is it some trick he is using to win you over, play hard to get or to entice you along? Or is he just not interested anymore?
If him texting you and then not replying to you confuses you (which it rightly should!) you deserve to know why he has done it. Other than straight-up asking why he has now decided to ignore you, you could have a look at the below reasons to find out why guys text you first and then ignore you.
Figuring out why he might be ignoring you is the best way to get over him, or to plan your next move, so keep reading to find out!
Why Do Guys Text You First Then Ignore You
I will just start this off real quick by saying that any man that texts you first and then ignores you is NOT. THAT. INTO. YOU.
Of course, if he’s just ‘ignoring you’ for a couple of hours, he’s probably just busy. But if this is a reoccurring theme where he texts first and then doesn’t text back, ask you out, or make any effort whatsoever after that first text: Girl, it’s time to move on.
Regardless of the reasons (which we’ll get into), this is not the guy for you. He’s clearly playing games, bread crumbing, and doesn’t value you or your time.
I don’t want you to go through this list and start making excuses for him, okay? But with that said, let’s get into it…
He Doesn’t Actually Like You
So, let’s start off with possibly the harshest scenario. He might have asked for your number on a whim, messaged you to see if you would bite back, and once you have, he doesn’t take it any further.
For some guys, it is about the chase, and once he feels as though he has successfully enticed you, it’s no longer exciting for him and he doesn’t feel the need to text back.
This is like an ego boost for them. They validate that you are in fact into them enough to text back and then don’t take it any further.
This could be especially true if you have met him when out drinking, and the next morning he realizes that he was caught up in the moment and doesn’t actually like you.
People don’t always consider other people’s feelings, and as unfortunate as it is, it is a lesson that we all need to learn.
It is also a possibility that he doesn’t realize how confusing or how hurtful this might be, and doesn’t think of the consequences of leading you on and then just cutting you off.
It is hurtful and it is unfair, but he might not have the empathy or emotional maturity to realize that, and truthfully, this is a good thing to happen early on so you aren’t stuck with someone who only thinks about themselves!
He Only Wants One Thing
A guy might find you really attractive, but not actually be interested in who you are as a person. He could text you when he wants you to come over or when he wants to come over, but that is as far as his part in the relationship extends.
If you think there might be more, or you want more from the relationship, you could text him and ask him how his day was, and he just won’t be interested enough to reply to you.
You would only hear from him when he wants to meet up, and all of your other texts will be ignored.
Unless this is something that you particularly want, you need to remind yourself that you deserve better and that if this is a recurring pattern, you need to walk away from it.
He is taking advantage of your feelings for him, and you deserve someone who likes you for you, and not just for your body.
He Has Met Someone Else
If he goes from texting you first to just ignoring you, there is a chance that he has met someone else.
You might have thought that things had been going great between the two of you until he just becomes silent.
While you might only have been thinking about him or seeing him, there is no guarantee that he isn’t seeing or talking to other people.
He might have hit it off with someone who he thinks he is more compatible with, and instead of doing the right thing and letting you know, he decides it is easier to just ignore you.
He might have been playing the field a bit and then has just decided to go with someone else, or whoever replies first. It goes without saying that you deserve much better than this, and you should just leave him be and go your own way!
He Isn’t A Texter
This is quite hard to believe in today’s technological age, where everyone is connected all of the time, but not everyone likes to text.
He might not be glued to his phone all of the time, and he may just be the type of guy who prefers to talk in person.
He could not want to sit up all night texting, and would instead rather make plans to meet up. He won’t want to respond to every text because he could think that texting is shallow and just not very personal.
Each to their own, and if this is something that you can accept, then that’s great. However, if you would prefer to be with someone who does like to talk over text, then you should let him know and the two of you can move on.
He Is Busy
Before you start panicking that he isn’t interested in you because he hasn’t replied, or begin typing an angry text, consider that he might just be busy.
If he is at college or has a busy job, he might not have the time during the day to reply to every text. He was thoughtful in sending the first text, but before he could read your reply, something came up and he hasn’t had the time to get back to you.
You need to be a little understanding in this situation. You cannot force him to stop what he is doing just to text you back, that isn’t fair and it is not a great way to start out a relationship.
However, you also need to make sure that he isn’t just blowing you off and using being busy as an excuse to not reply to you. It is a fine balance but just trust your gut. Instead of being angry straight away, try and understand it from his point.
He Doesn’t Want To Lead You On
He should not have sent the first text if he didn’t want to lead you on, but we aren’t perfect and he may have just made a mistake. He could realize after the first text that he actually doesn’t want your relationship or friendship to progress any further, and he doesn’t reply because he doesn’t want to lead you on.
In a way, it is better if this happens earlier rather than later, and it prevents him from letting you down if you develop stronger feelings for him later on and then he ghosts you.
There are much better ways for someone to let you down if they decide they are not interested, but letting you know is better than not!
He Was Bored
Some guys just suck, and he probably was just looking for some entertainment while he was bored. You definitely deserve more than just being someone’s entertainment, especially if he is just going to ignore you when he isn’t bored anymore.
If this is something that happens often, you should definitely take a step back and move away from him.
There is someone much better out there for you, and you don’t have to settle for someone who doesn’t show you the respect you deserve, especially if there is no chance of it going any further.
What Can You Do?
There are two things you can do in this situation.
One is to ask him outright. Don’t text back angry or with an accusatory tone, but simply ask him after a while why he is ignoring you and then go from there.
If there is a legitimate excuse, he will let you know, and then you can either decide if you want to keep chatting or not. He might even reply and be honest that he isn’t interested – and while this hurts, it is better to know.
You might drive yourself mad trying to think up all the reasons as to why he could be ignoring you, especially because he texted first, but the surest way to know is to ask him straight out.
There is the possibility that he could read your text and continue to ignore you, but that in itself is an answer. From here you should just delete his contact and move on!
The other thing you can do, which is what I would do, is go on with my life.
I don’t have time to ask you why you are a certain way. I just take the hot-and-cold energy as him not being into me.
Or at the very least, not making me a priority. I don’t expect you to text back within five minutes. Honestly, even if you take five hours, I get it.
But if you’re constantly ignoring and bread crumbing me, I will just move on with my life. Especially if it’s a reoccuring theme.
The chances of me responding to you next time after you ignored me once are none.
As I’ve always said, if he’s hot-an-cold with you, it’s time to turn off the faucet.
There’s too many people in this world to deal with that level of indecision and games
Why Guys Text First And Then Ignore You
There is not one blanket reason why a guy might text you first and then ignore you, and if this happens then you could just ask him why he has done it.
There should be some indications before this that he isn’t fully interested in you, or whether he just lives a busy life, so it is worth taking this all into consideration before jumping to conclusions as to why he is ignoring you.
If you think he is just stringing you along, walk away. You deserve better and it is easier to be let down sooner rather than later so that you can move on!
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