The period after a fight with your partner can be emotional and confusing. You might still have emotions lingering from the fight, but you also don’t want the distance to continue between the two of you.
As much as you might want to make up after a fight, you also don’t want to seem like you are always giving in and messaging him first.
This leaves you thinking, “should I text him first after a fight?”
There is no real answer to this, as you should always wait till you have calmed down and are thinking rationally before talking things through. If you are ready before he is, then maybe you should text him first after a fight. Texting first doesn’t make you weak, it shows you value your relationship more than a fight and want to move on.
One big caveat though: Are you the one always reaching out after a fight? If you don’t break the ice, would the two of you just never speak again? Those are importan (and difficult) questions to answer.
But if you both actively meet each other halfway and try to make the relationship work, then by all means, text him first.
It is important, however, to text him only when you are sure that you aren’t going to slip back into a fight again and you are sure that you are looking for a way to move forward, not continue arguing.
Your text to him shouldn’t be trying to initiate Round 2. If it is, it’s best not to text him at all.
Keep reading to find out if you should text him after a fight plus more tips to help ease things over and move on…
How To Text Him Back After A Fight
Some people say that using texting as a method to reconnect after a fight is not always the best idea but I tend to disagree.
Yes, some things should be done in person but texting after a fight does have some benefits.
There are some things to keep in mind when texting your partner after a fight so it does not do more harm than good.
First, remember that texting gives you the chance to think things through rather than reacting impulsively. Always use this to your advantage. You do not have to reply or message straight away.
Take your time to think things over and to think of a message that will patch up wounds, not open up new ones.
Text him first with an apology about the fight, only apologizing for your part in it, as he might be at fault in some way too.
Your apology might prompt him to apologize as well, which is a great first step. Keep the apology loving and do not bad-mouth or passive-aggressively leave some undertones to the message.
Once you have sent through your apology, follow it up with an invitation to meet up in person to talk things through.
This way, you get the hard part out the way, making the first connection, by being able to think it through and then meet in person when tensions have relaxed.
How Long Should I Wait To Text Him Back After A Fight?
There is no set rule as to how long you should wait to text him back after a fight, but there are some things to keep in mind before messaging him.
The amount of time you wait before texting after a fight will be dependent on how long it takes for you to calm down and not approach the situation with any intentions to carry on fighting or to be accusatory.
Only message him when you feel that you can approach the situation with a level head and with a solution or resolution in mind. Otherwise, there is no point in talking so soon. It will just end up in another fight that pushes you further away from each other.
So while there is no actual time frame to follow before texting him first, you should wait until you are calm and collected and ready to find a way forward for the both of you, not still emotional enough to start another fight.
Tips To Follow After A Fight
Here are some extra tips to follow after a fight, when waiting to text him first or waiting for him to be the one to make the first move towards the two of you talking again.
Give Him Space
Both of you need to have some space after a fight. Do not text him constantly straight after the fight wanting to talk, it never ends well.
Instead, give him some space, and give yourself some space, to think things through and to try to find a way forward. It might seem that he is ignoring you, but he might just be taking the mature route of going over what has happened.
Space might also be what he needs to miss you again and this could prompt him to text you first after a fight.
Move Forward Slowly
A fight happens for a reason, from issues that may have been obvious or reasons that are underlying. There is no quick resolution for this, so don’t think that texting him back first will solve all of the problems the two of you might have.
You need to move forward slowly and work together as a team to try and meet in the middle to better your relationships and to solve and avoid any issues that there might be.
Talk things over. Be level-headed, and don’t expect too much too soon. Relationships take so much effort and there is nothing that is solved overnight.
If the two of you really do have good intentions for your relationships, there will be a way to work through things, as long as you both take it slow and know that everything takes some work.
Look Within Yourself
It is important to look within yourself before texting him first. There is no point sending a meaningless text after a fight that won’t help anything.
Take some time to think of your role in the fight and see if there is something you could have done differently or any negative behaviors you have that need to be changed.
It is always good to have this in mind before talking to your partner after a fight, as you can approach the conversation with some helpful changes and ideas.
Should I Text Him First After A Fight?
No one other than yourself will know whether or not to text him first after a fight. You need to let things settle, and think clearly before trying to talk again.
If you feel like you won’t slip back into an argument if you talk again, then reaching out to him to find a resolution is a good idea to start patching things up.