When An Old Friend Contacts You Out Of The Blue (What It Means!)

With social media so accessible now, and the world becoming smaller and smaller, it is much easier for old friends to contact you out of the blue.

You might wake up to a friend request on Facebook, or a message from an old friend who you haven’t spoken to in years, and wonder why they have decided to reach out.

It can throw you for a bit of a loop when an old friend contacts you out of the blue, and it might make you a bit nervous about how to proceed.

What Should You Do When An Old Friend Contacts You Out Of The Blue?

two friends talking

When an old friend contacts you out of the blue, you may need to think about the reasons you fell out of touch, if you left things on a good note, and if there has been any change in your life that has made them contact you.

They might genuinely want to be friends again, they might just want to check-in, or they might want something from you or want to push their business on to you.

Every situation is unique, and to help you understand it all a little better, and what it might mean, keep reading!

What It Means When Old Friends Contact You Out Of The Blue

There are so many things it could mean if an old friend contacts you out of the blue. It will all depend on your past relationship, why you have fallen out of contact, and where both of you are in your life right now.

These are some of the reasons why an old friend might contact you out of nowhere, so take a read through the below while keeping your past friendship, and your current situation in mind, to work out which might be true to your scenario.

They Want To Rekindle The Friendship

It could be that your old friend genuinely wants to rekindle the friendship with you, and the first step in doing so is them sending you a message.

They could feel quite awkward or nervous to reach out, so they might not jump into the whole “hey let’s be friends again!” speech, and will rather test the waters first.

Life can be so complicated sometimes, and friendships are put on pause and life gets in the way, and there might have been no real reason the friendship ended, and it could be time to bring the friendship back to life again!

They Are Just Checking In

Your old friend might just be checking in with you to see how you are doing, and to see that you and your family are okay.

Old friendships sometimes come with rich histories and emotions, and your old friend might still really care about you. While there might be a few reasons, such as living situation or distance, that keeps the two of you apart, it does not mean that they don’t still care about you, and just want to check that you are okay.

They Want Something

Not all contact out of the blue from old friends is so innocent, and your old friend might be contacting you because they want something.

You might be very successful, and have a good job and earn good money, and the old friend might have seen some of your success through social media and thought that they could try their luck by befriending you again to try and gain from your success.

Keep in mind who this person really is, and where they are in their life. You need to try and work out whether or not they are looking to regain contact with you for their own reasons, and not only because they want to be friends.

They Are Pushing A Business

Unfortunately, MLM (Multilevel Marketing) businesses are rife, and they often prey on the most vulnerable people, promising wealth and riches with little effort.

One training routine that MLM put their recruitees through is getting into contact with old friends, and then pushing this business onto them.

You should be able to notice this quite easily, as this old friend has probably been advertising a promising, flashy new business on their Facebook page or social media, promising riches to anyone who joins, and if they open up their message to you with a compliment and being overly-friendly.

Rather avoid this interaction, and try to end the conversation quite quickly if you respond at all. These businesses very rarely make anyone any money, and the reason that your old friend has contacted you out of the blue is not genuine at all.

They Are Congratulating You

Social media makes it easy to watch friends’ lives from afar, and you might be the type of person who shares news and changes in your life on social media.

Your old friend might be contacting you out of the blue to congratulate you on something that has recently happened in your life, such as you getting married or having a new baby. They might be really happy about how well your life is going or about something that has happened and would contact you to let you know that.

They might not even be looking to become friends again, or as close as you might have been, but just want to let you know that they are proud of you, or are watching you from afar with love!

They Are Lonely

The world is a very confusing place right now, and for many reasons, many people feel more lonely and isolated now than ever before.

Social media messaging might be the only way for an old friend to feel connected to the outside world, and the time they have spent on their own might have made them miss your old friendship.

They could be reaching out to find some comfort from you, or to feel like they do have a friend out there. 

It is up to you whether you want to rekindle a friendship with someone, and this will depend on why the friendship faded, on who the old friend is, and where you are in your life. A courtesy message from you might help them feel a little better, but don’t get yourself into a friendship you don’t want to be in just because you feel guilty. There are other resources available for people who feel lonely right now.

Should You Message An Old Friend Out Of The Blue?


You might end up being the old friend that messages someone else out of the blue, and it could take you a while to decide whether or not you want to message them.

Many people find it very awkward to message an old friend out of nowhere, but it is important to remember that it will only be as awkward as you make it feel.

If it doesn’t feel right messaging an old friend, then maybe don’t do it. However, if you want to get in touch with this person again and see if you can rebuild a friendship, then it is definitely worth a try.

When messaging an old friend out of the blue, keep in mind that the person who they were might have changed, and they might be at a very different place in their life now. They might not be as interested as rekindling the friendship with you, but that is just a chance that you take.

You should also consider how you feel and whether you are doing this on a whim, of if you genuinely want the friendship with them.

Don’t take the first step to starting up the friendship again if you are not sure whether you want the friendship and the commitment that comes with it – as that would not be fair to the friend you are contacting.

Start the message out light, asking them how they are and how they have been, and don’t jump in too strong too quickly, and just be casual with the message.

If they reply, that’s great, but if not, then don’t take it too personally – friendships change overtime and not every friend will be a friend for life!

When An Old Friend Contacts You Out Of The Blue

There are many reasons why an old friend might contact you out of the blue, and it might not always be so apparent at first as to why they have reached out.

It is completely up to you whether you respond to the old friend and whether or not you want the friendship to be built up again. It might be nice to have a chat with an old friend to catch up, and even meet up for lunch, but do not force yourself into a situation if you don’t feel it is right for where you are in your life right now!

Just keep in mind why your relationship faded, which can happen very naturally over time, and whether or not the friendship ended for a reason. People don’t really change, and problems you had in your past friendship might rear up again if the friendship is reborn.

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