Everywhere you look on social media, you’ll see people posting pictures and thoughts about their partners.
That’s why it can be pretty confusing when your boyfriend doesn’t do the same. It can start ringing some alarm bells in your head.
What exactly is going on? If your boyfriend acts single on social networks, here are some potential explanations and what to do about it.
Possible Reasons He Acts Single On Social Networks
He Doesn’t Like Sharing His Personal Life Online
In the modern-day, it’s normalized to share almost every detail of your day and life on the internet.
But that normalization doesn’t mean that it’s normal or the right choice for everyone.
If your boyfriend doesn’t share most of his personal details online, he might prefer to keep his social network persona generic.
As such, his “acting single” could be as simple as a decision to maintain a closed private life.
However, if he is usually open about his private life online, this could be a cause for concern.
A decision to only avoid sharing his relationship status may have underlying motives.
He Hasn’t Thought About Making It Clear
There’s a reason that social media has its reputation for being a little mindless. Sometimes, people just don’t think much about their engagement with it!
If your boyfriend hasn’t thought about making his relationship status clear online, talking to him about it should solve the problem.
Your Relationship Isn’t Defined In His Eyes
Is your relationship relatively new? Have you just started possibly dating?
If so, your boyfriend may not think that he’s in any committed relationship.
He might consider himself still single. It’s a good idea to talk to him quickly to resolve this and get on the same page.
He Doesn’t Want The Relationship To Be Public
Not all relationships do well in the public eye. And not all information is something your boyfriend might want to share in public.
He may think the relationship should remain private. There are some good reasons for hiding a relationship online.
Maybe he has strict family members who follow him on social media. Perhaps he’s worried that you’ll be the subject of scrutiny by his friends and followers.
It could be a new relationship he doesn’t want to announce yet. Or maybe your relationship isn’t conventionally accepted in your location.
But there are also bad reasons that this could be happening. He could be ashamed of you.
He may want to project the idea that he’s single so he can get the attention of others. Regardless of the reason, the best path forward is to ask about this and make things clear.
Unfortunately, a boyfriend who acts single on social networks could be cheating. He might want to continue flirting with other girls.
He might have other secret relationships. He might be maintaining this persona so he can have intimate relations with people he meets.
If you suspect your boyfriend of cheating, it’s a good idea to pause to gather the evidence before throwing out accusations.
An incorrect accusation could severely damage your relationship.
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Acts Single On Social Networks
Ask Him Why He’s Acting Single
The best way to figure out why your boyfriend acts single on social networks is to ask him.
All the guessing, worries, and attempts to find answers sneakily will be counterproductive and may get you wrong ideas.
Communication is central to any healthy relationship. The only way to know for sure is to ask, so ask.
Express Your Wants For The Relationship
We’ve already mentioned the importance of communication. That’s why it’s crucial for you to express your desires for the relationship, too.
Your boyfriend might not personally feel that it’s necessary to be clear about his relationship online. If it’s important to you, then you need to convey that to him.
Remember to use positive language during this process. Your aim is not to be accusatory, but to express your desires.
Use statements beginning with “I” to express your concerns. In turn, make sure you ask for his perspective and listen to his desires.
Be aware of red flags, such as instant dismissal of your worries or emotions. Even if he doesn’t agree with your opinion, as a partner, he has to respect you and seek to understand your perspective.
(Once again, make sure you do the same for him!)
Consider If He’d Be Fine With You Behaving Similarly
Think about how your boyfriend acts on social networks. If you behaved the same way, would he be okay with it? Or would he immediately get suspicious, too?
This can be a good indication of whether he has negative intent through his actions. Yes, different individuals have different boundaries for their partners.
But in a committed relationship, things shouldn’t be so one-sided and skewed in this particular context.
Define Social Network Boundaries and Compromises
Once you have your answers and have communicated your concerns, it’s up to you whether you continue the relationship. If you do, then define your boundaries, find compromises on conflicting desires, and get on the same page properly.
An example of a boundary would be that he has to state his relationship status to anyone who flirts with him. You may also want him to post pictures of you together now and then, or to list his relationship status in his bio.
An example of a compromise might be something like the following. If he doesn’t want to share his private life constantly, you can then post photos of you together and tag him.
Make sure your compromises and boundaries are fair. You don’t want to end up falling into a toxic arrangement.
Know When To End The Relationship
If your boyfriend is cheating, of course, it’s time to walk away. If he belittles you or diminishes your concerns, that’s a red flag you might want to run away from.
And if your values, beliefs, and desires don’t align, then you can bring the partnership to an amicable end.
No one has to share their entire private life online. But at the same time, boundaries have to be in place to respect a relationship and maintain its health and comfort.
If your boyfriend acts single on social networks and this bothers you, try to understand why it’s happening first. With communication and self-respect, you can then decide what to do next.
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