When you end a relationship, you want to move on. You’d like to cut things short with your ex so you can focus on recovery and growth.
But what happens when that ex keeps popping up, giving you gifts, and being a little too friendly with you?
It can be pretty confusing, especially if you’re trying to let go. Here’s why your ex-boyfriend could still be buying you gifts.
Possible Reasons Your Ex Boyfriend Is Buying You Gifts
He Bought The Gift Prior To The Breakup
When you’ve been with someone for a while, it’s not unusual to buy gifts for upcoming events in advance.
But if a breakup happens before that, your ex-boyfriend is stuck with this item they got just for you.
In the weeks following a breakup, a lot of people seek closure by tying up loose ends. Your ex might give you this gift because he’s trying to let go of the things that keep you in his life.
It might not be a big deal to you, of course. But having this reminder of what could have been might be uncomfortable to him.
This can be enough to push him to give the gift to you anyway. It’s almost like a final goodbye present.
(Plus, if he bought it early enough, he might not be able to return it to the store!)
It’s Habitual Or Obligatory
If your relationship with your ex-boyfriend lasted for a very long time, it might be habitual to buy you gifts.
He’s used to the routine and it’s an ingrained part of his schedule. It might even feel obligatory.
This is especially true for special but not necessarily romantic events, like your birthday or Christmas.
He’s Not Over You
If your ex-boyfriend isn’t over you, he might want to get you gifts to express his remaining emotions.
Different people take different lengths of time to get over someone. This doesn’t even necessarily mean he wants to get back together.
He just has all these feelings about you and doesn’t have a good outlet for them. If you meant a lot to him, he might not know how to move on well.
He’s Jealous Of Your New Partner
If you’ve started dating again and your ex-boyfriend knows, he might buy you gifts because he’s jealous. He’s trying to make sure you don’t forget about him.
Or maybe he wants to make you think that he’s better for you than your new beau.
Yes, it can be weird and uncomfortable to think about someone you once loved dating someone else. But if your ex-boyfriend is trying to stew trouble in your new love life, he’s being immature and selfish.
Put a pin in it and establish boundaries!
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He Wants To Get Back Together
Giving people gifts often wins them over. An ex-boyfriend who gives you gifts may be attempting to court you. He might be trying to start over again.
This is especially likely if the gift-giving is coupled with other signs of flirtation and interest.
He may have expressed a desire to try again or might have shown you that he’s changing and growing.
It’s up to you if you want to lean into these attempts.
He Doesn’t Want You To Move On
Gifts have a way of sticking in your mind. An ex-boyfriend who’s selfish and doesn’t want you to be “free” might give you gifts to get in your head.
It’s tough to move on and date new people when your ex makes sure he’s always on your mind. Don’t give him that power.
He Wants You To Stay Friends
An ex-boyfriend might give you a gift as a peace offering. He’s asking for a truce so you can continue to have a bond, even if it’s a different one than before.
You might have been great companions with a beautiful connection. He might not want to lose that just because the romance is gone.
It’s up to you if you also want to stay friends with your ex or not. You might need more time than he does to recover before you can be friends again.
Communicate your needs and thoughts to him and ask that he respects that!
You Ended On Good Terms
If you ended your relationship on good terms, your ex-boyfriend might think of you similarly to others in his life.
This is especially true if gift-giving has always been his love language for family and friends.
He might buy you gifts casually simply because he likes buying gifts for people!
He’s Trying To Manipulate You
Sometimes, gifts come with strings attached.
If your relationship was toxic and ended due to unhealthy relationship patterns, be wary of these seemingly innocent gifts.
Your ex-boyfriend might have ulterior motives.
It’s not the nicest to think about someone in this way. You might feel bad for thinking of your ex so poorly.
Still, it’s a possibility to consider, especially if he’s done manipulative things before.
There’s Still Love Or Care There, Even If It’s Not Romantic
It’s hard to spend years of your life with someone and not have them in your heart forever. They’ve impacted your world and shown you so many things.
You’ve probably learned and grown from your relationship with your ex-boyfriend, and he has, too.
Love doesn’t have to be romantic. Your ex-boyfriend might buy you gifts simply because no matter what, you’ll always be someone important to him.
You’ll always care about each other even when that bond is platonic and you move on with your lives.
It can be a beautiful thing!
It’s ultimately up to you to decide what to do when your ex-boyfriend keeps buying you gifts.
You can accept them, politely refuse them, or even directly tell him to stop. You can use this as a chance to get back together or to enforce new limits.
Remember, your ex-boyfriend’s boundaries might be different from yours when it comes to gift-giving.
If you’re not comfortable with receiving habitually purchased gifts, be sure to let him know!
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