Being cheated on by your partner is one of the worst pains to go through in a relationship, but having them then go on to date the person they cheated on you with just rubs it in your face even more.
How are you supposed to move on when you are left with the hurt and pain, and they are off enjoying their new relationship together, without any of the negative emotions you are left to deal with?
Getting over a cheating ex is one thing, but getting over this and knowing they are happily dating the person they cheated with, is something all on its own.
Read on for some help and advice on how to deal with your ex dating the person she cheated on you with.
How To Get Over Your Ex Dating The Person She Cheated On You With
There is no one way to cure the heartbreak you will feel when your ex cheats on you, and then even more so when they start dating that person.
You need to understand that there are emotions that you will have to go through, and there is no way around this. However, by following the below advice, you would be able to better understand these emotions, and hopefully not let them get the best of you.
Healing is a process, but the process can be made a little bit easier. Below is advice on some things to keep in mind on how to get over your ex dating the person she cheated on you with.
You Need To Give It Time
The most important thing to remember is that you will need to give it time. The emotions you feel will not disappear overnight, and you will have to go through the ups and downs of healing before you feel better.
Time heals most things, and as cliché, as this might seem, it is very true. Not only will the time after the breakup help to numb and dull the pain a little bit, but you will also be able to better process all of these emotions over time, rather than trying to force it all in quickly.
It is also so important to give yourself this time to heal, to be able to recognize the flaws in the relationship and to also be able to better understand what you want out of a future relationship, instead of rushing into one and facing the same obstacles again.
Time will be your best friend when healing.
Confront Your Pain Head On
We all have different ways of dealing with pain, and when your ex cheats on you and then dates the person they cheated on you with, you might be looking for distractions. These distractions can include drinking, dating others, and even playing the field.
While these offer short-term relief, they do nothing to dull the pain, and the pain will just come barreling back when you least expect it.
You have to confront your pain head-on, and accept that you will have to deal with these emotions and face them.
This involves feeling the heartbreak, feeling the pain, and going through the days and weeks of just having a broken heart. As unpleasant as this might be, and as much as you might want to distract yourself away from this, it is something that has to happen.
Don’t Look Them Up
You might be feeling a little self-destructive, and want to look up your ex and her new partner on social media. There really is no reason to do this, but many of us fall into this trap.
You might be tempted to look them up and see pictures of the two of them together, but this will just cause you more pain.
They won’t be dwelling on you, so you should not spend your time dwelling on them and their relationship. Accept the fact that your relationship with her is not meant to be, and you aren’t doing yourself any favors by focusing on them.
It might actually be a good idea to block your ex from social media and to cut contact with them as you process the betrayal and the breakup.
Talking to them and constantly checking up on them through social media will just put off you moving on, which isn’t being very fair to yourself.
Don’t Romanticize The Relationship
Often, healing can be held back by romanticizing the relationship that you had with your ex. Most of the time, a relationship that ends in cheating, was never a healthy relationship to start with.
It is common to look back and only see the good in a past relationship, but often this is overdone.
If you find yourself reminiscing about the past relationship and the love and good times you shared, take a step back and ask yourself some critical questions. Was the relationship always happy?
What were some of the obstacles you faced? Would a long-term relationship really have been healthy for both of you?
By asking yourself these questions in moments of weakness, you will make it clear that the relationship was not all you are making it out to have been, and that there were times that were not all that good, and maybe not all that healthy.
Being open and honest with yourself will definitely help you move on.
Don’t Play Victim Too Long
What your ex did to you, by cheating on you and then dating the person who they cheated with, definitely does make you the victim in the situation (assuming that you did not do any wrong).
It might feel really good to be the victim for a while, to embrace the hurt and anger and to let it all out by moaning and being upset.
However, there comes a time when the victim mentality needs to end, and you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and move on. You cannot let this define you, even if it was a really big occurrence in your life.
You are more than just the person who was cheated on, and it is not what you should put out there.
Friends and family who love you will be there to support you through the pain, but there is a good chance they might get over hearing you harp on about the same thing over and over again when more than enough time has passed.
Don’t let your ex and her new partner have such control over your life, they have moved on (even though it was not in the best way), and you should too.
Do Not Confront Them
Anger is a very powerful emotion, and you are surely going to feel angry when your ex cheats on you and then tops it off by dating the person they cheated on you with.
The anger you feel might push you to confront the person your ex is now dating or to confront them both. You might feel like this is a good idea in the moment, but it really, really is not.
You will not get anything out of confronting your ex and their new partner, and it will not bring you closure. It will cause more hurt than anything else, and you never know which way your emotions might go when you do confront them.
You just need to accept that they have moved on and that you need to work on moving on by yourself.
Focus On Yourself
Relationships can be so consuming, and instead of doing things on your own, you do more with your partner. When your ex cheats on you and then dates someone else, you are going to feel alone, and with a sudden void.
Feel the anger and pain, and then move on. Take this as an opportunity to focus on yourself. Find a new hobby, hang out with friends who you might have neglected during the relationship, and spend time doing things you love.
Building yourself up again is so important to move on, and it is likely you won’t be able to do this moping on your sofa feeling sorry for yourself. By spending time doing things that make you happy, you will be healing yourself, and making yourself whole again.
Sometimes, the months after a breakup and after heartbreak can be so productive, and you might find the inspiration you felt was lacking before.
What To Do When Your Ex Is Dating The Person She Cheated On You With
Unfortunately, there is no quick fix on what to do when your ex starts dating someone she cheated on you with. You have to face your emotions and the hurt, and spend the time building yourself back up again.
You cannot focus on them and look them up on social media to see what they are doing, as this will only cause more pain. Instead, take the breakup as a push to focus on yourself and do things that make you happy.
It will take time, but you will get over this, and your life won’t be dictated by your ex and her choices.
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