Falling in love can be uncontrollable sometimes, and while it is a magical feeling, falling in love with someone isn’t complete validation that they are the right person for you.
If you have a feeling that something might be off, or if you want to make sure that the guy you are dating is a good catch, there are some qualities to look for and to stay away from.
Obviously, it is important to remember that no partner is perfect, and you would have your own faults, but there are some red flags to look for that your boyfriend portrays some qualities that could lead to an unhealthy or toxic relationship later on.
Below are some of the common bad qualities in a boyfriend that you should be aware of, to prevent yourself some hurt and heartbreak further down the line…
Bad Qualities In A Boyfriend
He Never Keeps His Promises
Keeping to your promises is so important in a relationship, and if he makes promises to you and then never actually keeps them, it shows he doesn’t value you very much.
It shows that you cannot trust him and that he really doesn’t care about how his actions affect you, only that he gets what he wants by making these promises.
Not being able to keep a promise also shows that he is most likely not able to keep a healthy and stable relationship either, which is never a good sign early on.
You want someone you can rely on and someone who you can hold to their word, and if you notice that your boyfriend isn’t keeping his promises now, you can’t expect this to change.
He Doesn’t Care About Your Interests
Having a partner who is interested in your hobbies, interests, and things you enjoy really helps to make a happy, healthy relationship.
This doesn’t mean that your partner should sit and knit along with you, but that he appreciates what makes you happy, and supports you in your endeavors.
A bad quality in a boyfriend is when he doesn’t care about the things that you do, and he belittles the things that you love. He lets you know that he thinks your hobbies and interests are stupid or immature, and he makes you feel silly for having the interests at all.
If he does not respect you and the things you are interested in and makes you feel like you can’t enjoy the things that you do, it might be time to move on and realize he isn’t a good partner.
He Doesn’t Turn Down Outside Interest
One huge red flag is if you know you cannot trust your boyfriend! This could present in a few different ways, but you would notice it first as him being secretive with his phone or spending a little more time texting or on social media.
There might be other girls commenting on his posts, and he doesn’t do much to show that he isn’t interested or in a relationship. He might also spend time commenting on other girls’ posts in a way that a guy with a girlfriend should not!
If he does not do much to turn down interest from other girls, and even enjoys flirting back a little, it is a sign that you are headed for eventual heartbreak. He is immature and cannot commit, and is more after the attention that he is in a committed relationship with you.
You deserve so much better. Your relationship isn’t a game and your feelings aren’t fickle, and you deserve someone who respects your relationship and who is loyal to you always.
He Tries To Control You
Controlling people can hide their tendencies at the beginning of the relationship, but there will be some red flags that eventually he will manipulate and control you more than what is healthy and acceptable.
This will start by him trying to tell you what to do with your time, who to see, what to wear, and how to act. He could even forbid you from seeing friends and family.
This is incredibly unhealthy behavior and is a relationship that you really need to try and get away from. It will not get better, and his control and manipulation will only worsen over time to a point where you feel completely broken down and as though you have no free will.
He Talks To His Ex
This is a bit of a tricky one because some exes do end up becoming very good friends, and their friendship is platonic and in no way paving a way for them to get back together again.
However, you will need to try and judge this one for yourself if he is still in contact with his ex. If you think that there are still some feelings there, and if the way they talk to each other is inappropriate or if he tries to hide their relationship from you, it is cause to worry.
If you trust your boyfriend, that is absolutely fine, but if you have that niggly feeling that something else is going on, trust your gut and speak to him about it. If he is super defensive and tries to hide information from you, it is a sign that he isn’t that trustworthy and you need to question his loyalty.
Make sure to put yourself first – you do not need to be his backup option in case he decides to get back together with his ex!
He Never Calls You First
If you find that you are always the first one calling, texting, or making plans and he doesn’t put much effort in, it should paint a bit of a picture of what the rest of your relationship is going to be like.
If he isn’t putting in the effort now while the relationship is still new and fun, chances are that it is never going to change.
You can expect that you will always be the one putting in effort and initiating contact, and this is going to be exhausting.
If he is neglecting you now, then there is little hope that you will become his priority!
He Doesn’t Make You Feel Special
Uhm… HUGE red flag alert here!
Being made to feel special and appreciated is essential in a relationship.
This doesn’t mean constant big gestures from your partner, but small things that show that he appreciates you, and little acts that make you feel special.
Not all men are very romantic but should have their own way of showing you how they feel. If your boyfriend doesn’t do this and takes you for granted, it might be worth your while to think about moving on.
It is not fair for you to put effort and care into a relationship, and make him feel special and loved if he cannot do the same for you.
He Is Selfish
Do you find yourself only ever doing what he wants to do? Do you have to watch the shows he wants to watch or eat the food he wants to eat?
If he is always adamant about doing the things he wants and acts selfishly in just about every situation, you definitely need to think about putting yourself first!
Being selfish is the last thing you need to be in a relationship, and unfortunately, this type of behavior very rarely changes, and it is likely you will be stuck only ever doing what he wants for the rest of your relationship (or a pouty lip if he doesn’t get his way)
Your boyfriend should care about the things you want to do, and compromise so that the both of you get to do the things you enjoy.
A relationship is about molding two lives together, not one person getting their way all of the time and the other partner just having to go along for the ride.
He Lies To You
It might take some time to pick up on when he lies, but over time you will catch him out in more and more lies, even if they are small lies for now.
Small and irrelevant lies could be a sign that he is also lying about bigger things, or that he might start doing so later on in your relationship.
You cannot be in a relationship with someone you do not trust, and if you are catching your boyfriend out in multiple lies, it really is not a healthy relationship that you would want to continue.
He Never Has Time For You
It is important for two partners in a relationship to have their own lives and hobbies, but there should be a meeting space in-between where each person makes time for the other.
If he never has time for you, and always has an excuse and something better to be doing, it shows that you are not one of his priorities, and you definitely deserve better than this!
Qualities Of A Bad Boyfriend
The above signs can help you pick up on how your relationship might turn out later on, and if you notice a few bad qualities in your boyfriend, you can either sit down and chat to him about them or take some time to think about whether it is really a relationship you want to be in.