Is your girlfriend talking to her ex behind your back?! Find out why this is happening and what you can do about it…
Your girlfriend might be the most amazing person in the world, and you might be deeply and madly in love with her, but there is one thing holding you back – she is talking to her ex behind your back.
Even the most trusting and loyal person would find this difficult to deal with, especially because she is hiding it from you.
You might be stuck between a rock and a hard place trying to figure out whether to ignore it or confront it and possibly open up problems in your relationship.
If you are stuck in the position where your girlfriend is talking to her ex behind your back, this is why it might be happening and what you could do.
Why Your Girlfriend Is Talking To Her Ex Behind Your Back
Before confronting your girlfriend about the issue, or overthinking the whole thing, it does help to consider why she might be talking to her ex.
Here are some reasons this might be happening…
She Isn’t Over Him
As painful as this might be for you to think of, the plain fact is that she might just not be over her ex. This isn’t the case in every situation, but it is one of the most common reasons people find their girlfriends talking to her ex.
This is especially true if she had a long and complicated relationship with him, and it was not a relationship that you just get over quickly.
Keep in mind that you should not jump to this conclusion straight away, as it could drive you crazy and cause an argument rather than a discussion.
He Isn’t Over Her
On the other end of the spectrum, he might not be over her, and he is the one initiating contact and she is trying to just hide this from you to not make you angry.
She might not be into him at all, and she might not be reciprocating his advances, but to avoid conflict, she is hiding this from you.
She Thinks Highly Of Him
Your girlfriend might have had quite a strong relationship with him before their breakup, and if they remained friends afterward, she might think highly of him still and still value his opinions quite a bit.
This can be hurtful, as you would want her to ask you for your opinion and think the same way about you, but unfortunately, that might just not be the case.
You Are Her Backup
It could be the case that you are her backup man if she cannot get back together with her ex. She is playing both fields and making sure she does not land up alone.
You deserve so much better than this, and if this is why she is talking to him behind your back, you should really reconsider the relationship
Your Relationship Is Not Strong
If your girlfriend talking to her ex behind your back, and there is more meaning to it than you would have hoped, it could be a sign that your relationship is not doing so well.
This could be a form of toxic behavior, where she is looking for attention in the wrong places, and even trying to get a bad reaction out of you.
The problems could also be from your side, where your toxic behaviors are pushing her away and she is looking for comfort elsewhere. Either way, take a long and hard look at your relationship and see if it is healthy to carry on the way you are.
They Are Friends
Simply, and the best-case scenario, is that they are friends and there is really nothing going on.
Men and women can be friends after a relationship and it can be completely platonic. I will say though, this is highly unlikely.
She might not have told you that she is talking to him because it hasn’t crossed her mind as something to do. But the fact that it is a secret is concerning.
She might also be hiding their conversations because she thinks you won’t be able to handle their friendship.
What You Can Do If Your Girlfriend Is Talking To Her Ex
There are obviously going to be a whole range of emotions and thoughts that you are experiencing, and the worst thing you can do is act on them without thought.
Here is what to do if your girlfriend is talking to her ex behind your back.
Speak To Her
This means to sit down and speak to her, not approach her angrily and throw accusations out.
It might very well be that there are sinister reasons that she is talking to her ex, but there is a chance there isn’t, and no matter how angry you are, there will be no resolution if you go in guns blazing.
Don’t suddenly blurt out the question in the middle of an argument or without warning, make an effort to sit down and actually have a proper, mature conversation about it all.
Be Calm
Keeping your emotions in check is difficult, but it is a skill that will really pay off throughout life. You need to approach the situation as calmly as possible, and this really is the only way to make it through issues.
Sit down and gently discuss the situation. Be honest and open with her about how you feel, and hopefully, she will be open and honest back with you.
Know Your Worth
If your girlfriend is talking to her ex behind your back because she is wanting to get back together with him, or because she is playing both fields, you really need to know your worth.
You deserve so much better than being someone’s second pick or being the backup man in a relationship where you are not valued to your full worth. Know when it is time to call it quits and rather focus on giving yourself the best.
Girlfriend Talking To Her Ex Behind Your Back
It is never a great feeling realizing your girlfriend is talking to her ex behind your back, but it is something that you can’t just ignore.
Talk to her about this, find out why it is happening, and then make a decision from there as to what your next step might be.
Remember your worth and don’t ever accept second place, and also remember that she might not actually be doing anything wrong!
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