How Long Do You Date Before Becoming Boyfriend/Girlfriend (What To Know!)

The age-old question of how long you need to date before becoming boyfriend and girlfriend still does not have a solid answer, and it is very subjective.

Every relationship is different, and what one person wants is completely different from another. Therefore, you cannot rely on other people’s examples on when you should become official with the person you are dating!

Understandably, this does not help you much at all, but there are definitely some things you can look at and consider when dating someone, to try and work out when it might be time to become boyfriend and girlfriend!

How Many Dates Should You Go On Before Becoming Official?


It is important to go on a good few dates before becoming official with someone. Dating someone for a while allows you to get to know them better, and the more time you spend together, the more you will learn about them and the more they will learn about you.

You have to give each other the opportunity to get to know each other well before committing to anything, and you won’t truly know someone after one or two dates.

To get to know someone else on a deeper level, you would also need to feel more comfortable around them to have deeper, more meaningful conversations, which will allow you to learn more about each other.

The attraction and spark you feel the first few dates are really great, but they cannot be all you base a future relationship on. There needs to be more substance to base a relationship on, rather than just an initial attraction, and spending more time together is the best way to work out if there is potential or not.

A rough rule is to have at least 5 or 6 dates to start before even thinking of making things official, but the more time you give yourselves, the more you will know whether or not a relationship is a good idea!

Signs You Are Ready To Be Official

There are some signs to look for that the two of you are ready to become boyfriend and girlfriend, and have gone through enough dates to be ready to call it official.

You Communicate Well

Communication is what makes a relationship work, and you need to feel comfortable communicating with the person that you are dating.

You should feel safe being vulnerable around them and feel confident that you can approach them with how you are feeling, and be open to listening to how they feel as well.

Without being able to communicate with each other, there is little chance your relationship will last long-term, and you will never be able to work through issues clearly and with confidence in your partner.

It will take dating for some time to work out how you and your partner communicate best, but it is definitely worth waiting for this first!

You Have Time For A Relationship

Dating can be fun and it is often light-hearted and non-committal. However, over time deeper feelings will develop and this will lead you both to feel like you need to take the next step.

Don’t confuse your feelings for this person as a green light to go on to becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, as you need to make sure that you have time for a relationship.

A relationship takes much more commitment than just casually dating, and if you don’t feel like you have the time in your life to dedicate to a relationship, it might not be the best option right now.

Make sure that a relationship will also not distract you from achieving your goals or doing what you are doing right now, such as school or other dreams.

Only enter into a relationship if you are sure that it is what you want right now, even if you are worried that saying you are not ready might hurt the other person.

You Are Compatible

A relationship will work best when two people are compatible. There is the old saying that opposites attract, and while this is true in some relationships, it doesn’t override the need for two people to be compatible to be long-lasting.

Make sure that your morals and values line up, and that what you are looking for in a relationship is similar. There isn’t a good chance of a relationship working if one person is looking for a serious commitment, and the other person isn’t.

There are many things that make two people compatible, and it does take some time to work this out while dating, as the excitement and sparks might hide any incompatibility issues the two of you have early on, but the longer you spend getting to know each other, the clearer it will be.

You Really Want A Commitment

Relationships are big commitments, and you need to be sure that you are ready for this commitment. You might be perfectly happy dating and the freedom that comes along with it, and taking the next step to becoming official does change this.

Make sure you are ready to commit to this one person, and that you would not still be interested in playing the field and maybe seeing what else is out there.

You don’t have to commit to a relationship if you do not feel ready, and you can stay dating for longer if you feel like it is what you need.

Be Open And Honest With Each Other

You need to be open and honest with the person you are dating. This doesn’t mean that you have to decide how many kids you’ll have together after the second date and have your wedding planned by the first, but it is good to know each other’s expectations.

This is not something that you need to do straight away, and it is worth taking a few dates to get to know each other a little better before talking about where you want things to go.

It does help to know whether both of you are interested in a potential relationship or not, or if one of you is just wanting something more casual.

Being open and honest with each other does allow you to determine whether you are on the same page and whether there is something for the two of you to work towards.

Don’t Feel Pressured

You should never feel pressured to make something official if you are not ready to. Even if you have been on 10 dates, if you are not ready to become boyfriend and girlfriend, then do not rush it.

It is not fair for the person you are dating to put pressure on you to become official, and relationships that are started with one person feeling pressured into it, never really last long.

However, it is also not fair for you to string someone along for too long, with the hope of a potential relationship around the corner, but never fully committing to them. It is a very delicate balance, but you always need to make sure that you are comfortable and happy with the decision you are making.

Someone who is pressuring you into a relationship before you are ready might not be the right person for you, and if they are forcing you into situations now, this probably won’t be a trait that changes.

Date The Person, Not The Idea Of Them

girl holding her partners hand in the snow

Before deciding to become boyfriend and girlfriend after dating for a while, you need to make sure that you are becoming official because you like them, and not just the idea of them.

Many of us fall into the trap of wanting to have a significant other in our lives, and because of this, often overlook any flaws and hiccups that we maybe should have been paying attention to, just to start a relationship.

You need to be sure that the person you are dating is the person who you want to be with, and not just look to make things official because you want a committed partner.

Things Will Change When You Become Official

Take your time dating and having fun, because things do change when you become boyfriend and girlfriend. You will experience some great new things together, and watching your relationship grow is really beautiful, but you also need to be prepared for the other side of things.

Your relationship together will mature when you are boyfriend and girlfriend, and all of those sparks might turn into a long-burning flame. You will feel more deeply about each other over time, but it might not be as fun and spontaneous all the time as dating was.

There are definitely many pros to becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, but remember that it will become more of a commitment!

How Long Do You Date Before Becoming Boyfriend AndGirlfriend

There is no ideal time to date before becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, and every situation is different. You do need to make sure you are comfortable with the person you are dating, and are comfortable communicating with them before deciding to commit.

Never rush into becoming official, and take your time dating your partner and getting to know them better before becoming boyfriend and girlfriend!

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