Breakups are never easy, and they can be made even more difficult if your boyfriend breaks up with you over text. It doesn’t feel final, and it feels as though he might not actually care about your feelings.
The text might come as a shock, or it might have been a long time coming. Either way, the text will still be a painful one to read, and you might be absolutely stuck on what to reply to.
What do you do when your boyfriend breaks up with you over text?
The most important thing to do is to take some time to think things through before you send a reply. You need to go over the situation in your head and try to think of a response that will not aggravate the situation even more, or lead to more hurt for you.
If your boyfriend sends you a breakup text, it will help to have some ideas on how to reply, so that you can respond in a way that is best for you and the situation, and to avoid making the situation worse.
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Breaks Up With You Over Text
Take Your Time To Respond (Or Don’t Respond At All)
The most important thing that you should do when you get a breakup text from your boyfriend is to take your time to respond.
You need to calm down before sending him a text message back if that is even what you decide to do afterward.
The text will most likely be a real shock to you and you need to get yourself in the right headspace to respond without saying something that you might end up regretting later on.
How long you need to wait to respond is completely up to you, whether you need an hour, a day, or a week.
You will be aware of how long you need to go through your emotions and to feel confident to reply to the breakup text properly.
However long you need, take it. Your emotional state is the most important thing for you to consider, and you deserve all the time you need to take to process it all.
You also have every right to not respond at all. I mean, they weren’t capable of breaking up in person. So why do they deserve a response back?
Besides, what could you possibly say back?
You don’t need to be Captain Raymond Holt here. You can read the text, accept it, and move on without a response.
It’s completely up to you.
Just make sure to cool off and have a level-head if you do respond.
Look For Support
It can be so helpful to look to family or friends for support when you receive a breakup text.
Breakups can make you feel so alone and so confused, especially when they have been sent by text and there is no closure of seeing your boyfriend face to face.
My girlfriends (and Ben and Jerry’s) have gotten me through some tough times!
It is worth calling a friend or a family member that you feel comfortable talking to, and who you know will let you pour your heart out.
Talk to them about how you are feeling, and hopefully, they will listen and comfort you.
Speaking to a friend or family, and talking about your emotions, might actually help you work them out for yourself.
It could result in you feeling more clear-headed, and maybe a little more ready to reply to your boyfriend and the breakup text that he had sent you.
Your friend or family member might even help you think of the best reply to send!
How To Respond To A Breakup Text
Being broken up with over text is not only difficult because it feels like your boyfriend is not giving you the time of day to break up with you face to face, but it can also be difficult to reply back over text, as it is very different to just saying what’s on your mind in person.
Responding over text to a text breakup is not easy, and there seems to be no right answer as to what you should say!
If you decided you do want to reply, here are some tips on how you could respond:
Say You Understand
In some relationships, you might have seen the breakup coming, and it might not be as big a shock to you. There might have been some big issues in the relationship that you noticed as well, and the breakup text would not be completely one-sided.
If this is the case, then text your boyfriend back saying that you understand, or if you are still battling to comprehend the reason, say something like “I understand your point”.
There is absolutely no need for you to be okay with the breakup, but you need to show that you are at least listening to his point, and accepting his view of things, and his decision.
Let Them Know How You Feel
Sending a breakup text can be quite disrespectful, especially if you and your boyfriend have been dating for a long time.
There is no reason why you should accept him being this nonchalant about your relationship, and the fact that he did not bother to break up with you face to face.
Let him know how you feel, and let him know that you are angry and upset, but try to do it in a very civil way, without being too disrespectful back or lowering yourself down to his level.
Reply back saying that you are upset with the way he has approached the situation or that you wish he had told you face to face. But nonetheless, that you accept his decision and you understand his point.
You deserve to have your say as well, and he should know that breaking up with you over text is not okay.
Wish Them Well
As painful as it can be to be broken up with over text, you should always do your part to end things on a good note. You don’t want to burn bridges, and you don’t want that negativity looming over you.
The best way to get closure is to give it to yourself, and wish your ex well on their way.
This in no way means that you need to be friends and continue speaking after the breakup (which is perfectly fine if the two of you are okay with this), but you should appreciate the time you had together, remember the fun times, and wish your ex a happy future going forward.
Leaving the relationship with a clear conscience is so helpful to heal.
Should You Ask For An Explanation?
There is not too much that can be said or expressed in text, and it might not give you all the information you would want when the relationship ends.
Everyone deserves a proper breakup and you. may feel it is your right to sit down and. have an explanation so you can get closure.
However, I will say, closure is over-rated. You know what’s closure? Moving on with your life.
Being happy. Finding friend who love and value you. And leaving that f-boy who broke up with you in a text in your rearview mirror.
I don’t now, nor ever, recommend meeting with ex’s for the sake of ‘closure.’
But, I completely understand how raw and real emotions are when you have just been broken up with.
And even though the logical part of our brain knows nothing good can come of this, we still go forward.
So if you want an explanation beyond ‘it’s over,’ you have the option to…
Meet In Person
If you feel like you need some more clarification on the breakup, you could ask your ex to meet up in person to talk it over.
However, you should only do this if you feel confident enough to see them in person, and you are not holding on to hope that you could try and win them back if you just see them – which could just lead to more heartbreak.
Remember though that your ex did not show you too much respect by breaking up with you over text, so the chances of him wanting to meet in person are slim.
If you do meet in person, please please, please, keep your composure.
Do not be the girl crying at a Chili’s because her (now ex) boyfriend is breaking up with her (again!)
Talk Over A Phone Call
Talking on the phone is not a bad idea actually.
In fact, if I were in your shoes, I might not even respond to the text message and call them back.
This forces them to be a little more mature and handle the breakup like a grownup, while giving you a slight more respectful ending to the relationship.
Talking over the phone allows you to hear their emotions and how they feel more clearly than what you are able to over text, which can be helpful.
Just do not call when you are too upset and give yourself some time to process things and have an idea of what you want to say to them.
Do not shout or scream on the phone, and only call if you can have a calm conversation with them.
Talk Over Text
Your ex might not want to meet in person or might not want to call, and this could be better for you if you do not feel ready to see them or hear their voice yet.
You could still ask them for more of an explanation over text.
There is a good chance you would need more clarification over the breakup and he could send you this over text.
You can tell him that you don’t understand fully where he is coming from and you would just appreciate more detail as to why he has come to the decision that he has.
But again, I am a broken record. Him wanting to break up is clarification enough.
You don’t need the explanation, closure, any of that stuff. He didn’t text you to work on the relationship. He texted you to end it.
The Bottom Line
It is never, ever easy to receive a breakup text, no matter how long (or little) you have been with your boyfriend or if you had seen the breakup coming for a while.
As is normal, you might be a bit lost as to what to do when your boyfriend breaks up with you over text.
The most important thing to remember is to take your time to process the text and your emotions before replying, and try to talk to a friend or family member to about what you are feeling and to find support.
Just remember, anyone who breaks up with you over text has a lot of character flaws and would not be a good match for you.
Wait, what character flaws are you talking about? Well for one, they can’t communicate.
And you need communication to make a relationship work. There is just not way around it.
Two. They lack empathy. They looked for the easiest way to end things with you with absolutely no regard for your feelings. None. Zip. Nada.
These types of people make horrible life partners and friends. They will always put their needs first and give very little regards for who they hurt along the way.
Is that who you want?
And, I can keep this list going forever, but I’ll leave it at three. They don’t respect you.
A breakup text is so incredibly disrespectful. It shows how little regard this person has for you.
Respect is one of the most important things a relationship needs. It’s basically the foundation the relationship is built on.
So, be sad. Be upset. Be angry! But also be thankful. Be thankful this person excuses themselves out of your life.
The trash took itself out.