Falling in love with someone who does not love you back can be one of the most heart-breaking experiences that someone can go to. Not only is it deeply painful to accept the fact that they do not love you, but it can have a major effect on your self-confidence and self-esteem.
The best thing to do when you love someone and they don’t love you is to remove them from your life if possible and get as much space as you can. Stop checking their social media and try as hard as you can to accept they don’t love you and move on.
You should never be in a position where you are trying to convince someone of your worth. If they can’t see it, that’s on them. It’s time for you to pack your bags and politely leave.
I know all sorts of thoughts would run through your mind as to why they might not feel the same, and if you do not put a stop to this, it can really destroy you.
To help you make it through this difficult experience, here is some advice on what to do when you love someone who doesn’t love you.
Because (and this is important!) you deserve to be happy and that happiness does not need to come from someone else!
Is It OK To Be In Love With Someone Who Doesn’t Love You?
Loving someone who doesn’t love you back causes incredible amounts of pain. You should not subject yourself to being hurt over and over again. It is better to rip the bandaid and move on.
But there are no rules to this life you live, okay? You can absolutely love someone who doesn’t love you back.
However, that will be an extremely painful way to live. When you love someone who doesn’t love you back, every time they don’t text back, make time to see you, or god forbid, start dating someone, you will feel a sharp pain.
And this pain doesn’t go away with time. It is like touching a hot stove, burning yourself, and then touching it again.
Why would you want to do this to yourself?
I know. Moving on hurts.
But I always think to myself, if I loved the wrong person this much, can you imagine the love story I’ll have when I find the right one?
And no, this person you’re in love with isn’t the one! He can’t be. The ‘one’ for you will want you back. He won’t be wishy-washy, half-assing, or stringing you along.
So, I ask again, is it ok to love someone who doesn’t love you back? Yes, if you’re a masochist.
What To Do When You Love Someone Who Doesn’t Love You
Accept That They Do Not Love You
This is possibly the hardest step, but it is by far the most important.
The first step to moving on is to accept that this person does not love you. This could be someone who you were hoping to start a relationship with, or someone who you have been involved with for years.
Whatever the case might be, you need to take it for what it is, and accept that this person does not love you, and that they feel as though they do not need you anymore.
Take a look at the relationship from the outside. You will probably notice that it is very one-sided, and that the person never acts the way you hope.
When you are tempted to contact them or try get in touch, try to think of how they might react, and don’t romanticize it.
If you need to constantly make the effort, only to be met with barriers and condescending behavior, it is not worth it.
Keep Yourself Busy
Once you have accepted the fact that this person does not love you, you need to make an effort to distract yourself and keep yourself busy.
The best way to get over someone is to keep them out of sight and out of mind, and to do this, you need to keep yourself preoccupied.
Find a new hobby, join a new sports club, expand your social circle, or go on a long road trip. Find something that will keep you busy and happy, and take your mind off of this person.
After a while, you will find yourself thinking of them less and less, which is how you get over someone!
Stay Off Social Media
It can be so tempting to contact someone who you feel deeply about when seeing their face pop up on social media.
Seeing photos and videos of their life, and possibly their time spent with someone else, will do nothing other than hurt you even more.
You need to either unfollow this person on your social media accounts, or make an effort to stay off your phone for a while.
The more time you spend on your phone, the more tempted you will be to message them or stalk through their photos.
It isn’t healthy, and by cutting this out of your life, you will be able to move on much easier.
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Practice Self Care
Being down and heart-broken that the person you love doesn’t love you back can end up leading you on a downward spiral.
This can be so harmful for both your physical and mental health, and you need to try and put a stop to it as soon as possible.
Spend your time being upset, but then pick yourself up and practice some self-care. Don’t start neglecting yourself and your health.
Make an effort to work on your heatlh and your appearance. Indulge in bubble baths and expensive teas. Do whatever you feel like you need to make you happier – as long it is a healthy choice!
Self-care comes in so many different forms, and what works for one person might not work for someone else.
Take the time to do things you enjoy, just for yourself, that will life your spirits a bit, but avoid making any rash decisions or choosing any activities that might only worsen your mental state – such as drinking more.
Let The Idea Of Them Go
Often, we are more in love with the idea of someone rather than the person themselves.
This idea of that special person could be holding you back from moving on with your life, and in order to prevent this from happening, you have to let go of this.
There is obviously no point in yearning after this person if they do not want to be with you, as harsh as this sounds.
The more time you waste on this dream of this person, the more of your life you are missing out on.
This dream of them is not going to come to fruition, so throw it in the trash and find something else to aspire to!
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Don’t Become Bitter
Experiences like this, where you love someone who doesn’t love you back, can make a person bitter and angry at life.
It is easy to understand why, as it seems unfair that some people get what they want, while you are left heart-broken and alone.
Do whatever you can to avoid this mindset! Everyone goes through ups and downs and heart-breaks in life, you definitely aren’t alone. Do not let the experience make you bitter. Instead, keep your head up high, learn from this, and move forward.
There are many happy memories ahead in life for you, and you don’t want to miss out on these because of one failed love.
What To Do When You Love Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back
There really is nothing you can do to make someone love you back when they just do not feel the same.
All you can do is make sure you take care of yourself, take the time you need to feel upset, and then hold your head up high and carry on with life, moving on to the next exciting adventure!
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