A relationship requires the love and care of all parties involved. If your boyfriend stops showing that care, it can be a quick and painful end to the partnership you share.
But does that mean it’s over? What can you do to save your relationship, and if it’s not salvageable, how can you keep yourself sane?
Here’s what to do when your boyfriend doesn’t care anymore…
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Stops Caring
Think About What You Want
Before you can bring up the subject of caring to your boyfriend, you need to know exactly what “caring” entails to you.
What specific actions tell you that he doesn’t care, and what actions do you need to see in order to feel like he cares?
Come up with a few examples to use so you can easily show him what you need.
Communicate To Him
Your boyfriend isn’t going to know what you’re feeling and thinking if you don’t tell him directly. Feeling uncared for is a serious problem in a relationship.
It’s something that needs a proper sit-down, face-to-face, heart-to-heart talk.
Use “I” language such as “I feel” and “I want” in order to tell your boyfriend what you’ve been experiencing.
Honest and open communication can be a total relationship saver, and using it here before taking drastic action can change your trajectory for the better.
Consider His Perspective
This sounds terrible, but hear me out! Different people have different ways of communicating that they love and care for people.
The way you best feel cared for may just not be the way he shows that he cares.
Think about the things he does and ask if any of them could be his way of caring. While you still need to communicate that you need other signs to feel cared for, knowing that he does care and just isn’t showing it in the way you like can help you feel better and diffuse an argument before it begins.
Reconsider The Relationship
This is a good time to think about what you want in a relationship. Has this relationship been fulfilling your needs?
Do you feel happy with its direction? Do you like the idea of the future you have in store?
This can help you decide if you want to keep working on the relationship or just need to go your separate ways.
Spend Some Time Together
Have you been drifting apart lately? Your boyfriend’s lack of care may be due to the spark of your love beginning to fade.
But don’t worry – you can reignite it together! Dedicate more time to each other, start going on dates and trying new things together and remember what it’s like to bask in each other’s presence.
Consider What’s Going On In His Life
Has your boyfriend been going through his own tough time? Maybe he’s lost a loved one, had trouble at work or faced some form of disappointing life event.
If the lack of care he’s displayed started occurring at the same time as those bad events, then it’s a good idea to consider that his actions have nothing to do with you at all.
He might just be trying to recover and therefore may need his energy for himself right now. Talk to him about it!
Keep Doing Things That Make You Happy
In this rough time in your life and relationship, you’ll need to keep your spirits up.
It’s easy to forget about your hobbies and the things you love when you’re focused on your boyfriend’s behavior.
Don’t fall into the trap of ignoring your hobbies because of your struggles. Keep doing things that make you happy so you don’t slip into negative spirals!
Don’t Take All The Blame
When your boyfriend acts like he doesn’t care about you, he doesn’t then get to turn the blame around and point fingers at you.
Statements like “I would care if you didn’t spend time with that guy so much” or “I can’t care if you act so independent all the time” are huge red flags.
Remember, you’re not the person who has to change and correct your behavior. Even if there are things that you need to work on, your boyfriend acting like he doesn’t care about you is the bigger problem!
The issues he has with you should’ve been brought up in positive communication, not as a means of defending his bad actions.
Don’t Start Begging
It’s very, very tempting to desperately plead for your boyfriend’s affection. You might feel that if he just saw you beg, he’d realize how serious things are and change.
But bad boyfriends will see your begging and use it as a means to manipulate you and step on you.
They may even like the attention they get from your pleading. Begging can also come off as manipulative and form toxic, needy patterns that are unhealthy for any relationship.
Communicating your problems and working with your boyfriend to overcome relationship struggles will only work if he’s contributing to the efforts as much as you are.
A boyfriend who doesn’t care and hasn’t shown that he cares, even when you try to talk to him about it, may end up never really changing.
In the event that your boyfriend doesn’t listen to you and makes no effort to change his behavior, it’s time to walk away from the relationship.
Do you really want to continue to date someone who doesn’t care about you?
You deserve someone who doesn’t just care, but loves and respects you unconditionally. You can’t find that if you stay in this unloving relationship.
A lot of relationship problems, even ones as serious as one party acting like they don’t care, can be addressed with openness and positive communication.
If it all works out and ends well, that’s all the better for you, and your relationship will be much stronger and healthier for it!
But if it doesn’t work out and your boyfriend never ends up caring, remember that you deserve better. Leaving may hurt at first, but months down the line, you’ll be glad that you did.
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