Being in love is an unmatched feeling, but it is not the only reason you should stay in a relationship. Love is a huge part of any successful relationship, but there are also other factors that are vital to making a relationship work.
If you are in a relationship but you are looking to leave, it can be made so much more difficult if you are still in love. Loving someone and trying to let them down and leave the relationship is one of the hardest things you can do, but at times, it is the best thing for you.
How do you leave a relationship when you are still in love?
There is no one set way that you can use to leave a relationship when you are still in love, but there are some tips and advice that can help you through the process.
Support and strength are at the forefront of what you need when leaving a relationship when you are still in love. Keep reading to find out how you can break up with your partner, even if your love is still really strong.
How To Know When It Is Time To Leave A Relationship
Chemicals are what cause us to feel love, and these can be so hard to override, after all, love is a completely natural instinct. But you do need to put logic first in a relationship, especially when you are having doubts that things are not as they should be.
It can be so tough to work out when it is time to leave a relationship, and even more tough when you are still in love.
If you are unsure, here are some things to look for that it is time to leave a relationship:
Your Family Doesn’t Support Your Relationship
If you are close to your family and friends, you should definitely pay attention to how your family supports your relationship. They would know you best, and how they view the relationship could cast a better view on how the relationship actually is, rather than your view through rose-tinted glasses.
Your family and friends would want the best for you, and they would want you to be with someone who treats you well and who has your best interest at heart. They might not think that your partner is supportive or caring for you, or even a good influence.
If you trust your family’s judgment, and they are not on board with your relationship, it could be time to reevaluate it.
Your Needs Aren’t Met
In a relationship, both partners need to have their needs met, and this does take work from both in the relationship.
You might find that your needs are not being met. This could be emotionally, physically, or even mentally. There are many different needs you might have in a relationship, and your partner should try to meet these.
If you feel as though your partner is not even trying to meet your needs, then it shows that they really do not value you that much. You can try and talk to them about this, but if nothing changes, you need to put yourself first.
This is especially true in relationships that have been going on for quite some time, there is little chance that your partner will change and start putting you first. In a new relationship, it is quite a big red flag that your relationship will be unfulfilling and your needs will continue to be unmet.
You Fulfill Your Needs Elsewhere
Your partner should be your go-to person. They should be the one you rush to tell good news, and the person you go to when you are down or having problems. If you notice that your partner is not the first person you think of to go to, this could be quite a red flag.
Not turning to your partner when you need someone to talk to or when you need support, and instead of turning to someone else, shows that you are not having your needs met with them, and you are looking to fulfill these needs with someone else.
Your partner should be enough for you, but if you are looking for this support elsewhere, through a colleague at work or from a friend, you need to have a look at why and possibly realize that your partner is just not there for you emotionally.
You Don’t Feel Comfortable Asking For More
Open communication is so important in any relationship, and if you feel as though you cannot approach your partner to talk about anything, then there is a real problem.
You should feel comfortable talking to your partner about any issues you have and asking them for more in the relationship. This is a sign of a healthy relationship and is so vital to having both parties feel happy and fulfilled.
Feeling as though you cannot approach your partner with anything shows that they are not receptive to you and that they really aren’t worried about working on the relationship and taking it forward.
You should never feel scared or uncomfortable talking to your partner, no matter the subject, and this is a huge sign that you should probably be moving on, no matter how much you love them.
You Feel Like You Have To Stay
So many people stay in a relationship they don’t want to be in because they feel obliged to. You might have invested so much time and emotion into the relationship, and feel as though leaving is a huge waste of this.
A long relationship does not mean a successful relationship, and just because you have spent a long time with your partner does not mean you cannot leave if you are not happy.
By spending more time in the relationship and investing more time and emotion, you will not be fixing any of the problems that haven’t already been fixed. If it hasn’t got better over the last few years, chances are it won’t get better over the next.
Your Relationship Is Constant Work
Relationships do take work and effort from both partners, but if you feel as though it is a constant uphill battle and you are always having to work on your relationship, especially if it is more you than your partner, it really might be time to call it quits.
Constantly working on a relationship shows that the two of you should probably not be together, and there will be little change going forward. Any change in the relationship will take so much effort, and while relationships are not a walk in the park, they should not be taxing.
You Don’t Actually Like Your Partner
So many people who have been in a relationship for a long time will admit that they do love their partner, but they don’t necessarily like them.
This love is formed from being their partner and supporting them for so long, but people change and grow, and you might not like the person your partner has become, or you have changed and are looking for something different.
This can be really difficult to admit, but it is so important to be with someone you actually like.
There Are Abusive Tendencies
There are many ways that relationships can be abusive. It can be physically, emotionally, or financially. Even the smallest signs of an abusive relationship are enough for you to think about leaving, as there is a high chance that things can progress and get worse.
Abusive relationships are so complicated, and they may have manipulated you to be dependent on them, and this could feel like love. However, there is never a reason for you to stay in a relationship where there is abuse, and it is a strong reason that you should leave.
How To Leave A Relationship When You Are Still In Love
Understanding when it is time to leave a relationship is one thing, but actually leaving the person you love is the hardest part.
It can be so confusing and difficult, but there are ways to walk away from a relationship that isn’t healthy for you, no matter how much you love them. It is so important to put yourself first and to know you deserve better and remembering this can really help you through the process.
Once you have realized that it is time to leave, here is how you can do so:
Breakup With Respect
Leaving your partner respectfully is a good way to help you move on. You should offer your partner the respect they deserve by explaining to them why you are leaving, and if needed, giving them the chance to say their peace.
It is so easy to break up via text and block them on all devices, but having an open conversation with them can really help both of you have some closure.
However, if you are leaving an abusive relationship, or you think that your partner might not take the breakup well and you are concerned for your own mental health or safety, then avoid breaking up face to face and rather do it in a way that you feel most comfortable with.
Not all relationships end because of a big scandal or something notorious. Sometimes, people are just not compatible, and being able to recognize this is a huge sign of maturity.
You and your partner might absolutely love each other, but you might not be right for each other. If this is the case, then it is healthy for you to acknowledge the love that you shared, but accept that it was not meant to be.
Being incompatible is just something that you cannot change, but this does not change the feelings you had and the affection you shared, but understanding that this love alone will not see things through is the healthiest thing to do.
This gives you time to move on and to enjoy time on your own, and possibly even find someone who is more compatible and who shares the same values and dreams as you do.
Acknowledge Your Problems
It can be so easy to romanticize your relationship when you leave. You seem to only remember the good parts and forget all the bad bits. Being able to move on from a relationship where you are still in love requires you to remember why you are leaving, and you need to keep this in mind.
There will be days when your love feels overwhelming and you want to go back to give the relationship another chance. You need to remember the problems you had. The relationship might be great for the first few months when getting back together, but the chances of the same problems arising are overwhelming.
Keeping a strong head on why you have left the relationship is key to moving on, and really is what will give you the strength to not go back and to keep on your new journey.
One of the hardest parts of leaving a relationship is breaking the habit of always having your partner there. They are the ones you speak to often, they are the ones you turn to, and they are there for you 24/7. Leaving them leaves you without your person, and this can feel like a huge hole in your life.
This means that it can be so easy to fall back into old habits and try to contact your partner again. Whether it is to get a comforting goodnight or to tell them some good news, it could be so tempting to text them again.
To avoid this, and to avoid slipping back into a relationship with them, which is especially possible if you love them still, you need to block all contact with them. This does not have to be forever, but it should definitely be done when you have just broken up.
You need to give yourself some proper time apart and give yourself the best chance of not falling back into these habits.
Remember You Deserve Better
This can be so difficult when you feel broken after a relationship, but you need to always keep in mind that you deserve better. It can be tough to remember your worth, but even if you have to write it on your mirror or do self-affirmations every day, it is something you cannot give up on.
Remembering that you deserve better, and changing your mindset on your worth, will be paramount to help you leave a relationship, especially when you still love that person.
Keep the thought that you deserve a chance at real love with someone who treats you well and who values you as a person. You deserve a relationship with someone who values the same things as you and wants the same goals as you.
Knowing that you deserve better will prevent you from going back to your ex, even if you love them, and this is such an important factor when trying to move on!
Give Yourself Time To Grieve
It is so important to give yourself time to grieve. Feel sad, cry yourself to sleep, and mourn your relationship. This is all so important in moving on. You have lost a huge part of your life, and even though it was a necessary and healthy loss, it is still one that cuts really deep.
Healing does not happen overnight, and you need to afford yourself the time to be heartbroken and be upset. Do not feel as though you have to move on and be okay overnight.
A good way to do this is to give yourself a set amount of time to grieve and allow yourself time to feel all the emotions you need to. After this, it is time to start moving on. You would have got all of your emotions out, and while they will still linger and the pain will still be there, you would have dealt with them and now feel as though you can move forward.
Put Yourself First
Now that you have made the decision to leave a relationship that wasn’t best for you, no matter the love you felt, it is time to start focusing on yourself and putting yourself first.
Take time to focus on yourself and not your relationship. Do things you love, and pursue things you may have never pursued before. Keeping yourself busy and putting yourself first will stop you from thinking about your ex and worrying about what he is doing.
Putting yourself first will also help to change your mindset, and will help you realize that you are worth so much more and you deserve much better!
Leaving Someone You Love
There is no magic fix or easy way to leave a relationship when you are still in love, but there are some steps and tips that can make the process slightly more manageable.
Once you realize that you need to leave the relationship you are in, you need to start putting yourself first and paving a way for your future. Stay strong and remember your worth, and take it a day at a time!
If you want to learn more about relationships, check out these related posts on what to do when you love someone who doesn’t love you and how to emotionally detach from someone