Relationships go through rough patches, and sometimes those patches lead to their end. But that doesn’t have to be the case.
A strong, committed couple can work past these issues and bring the relationship back to a renewed strength and love.
If that’s what you want to do with your partner, you’ll know that there’s a tough but rewarding journey ahead. Here’s how to start over with someone you love.
How To Start Over With Someone You Love
Learn From Past Mistakes, But Do Not Dwell On Them
The need to start over in a relationship often becomes a factor due to multiple past issues. Both parties have likely made numerous mistakes.
Truly starting over means that these past things have to be left where they belong: in the past.
Of course, it’s more complicated than that. These issues happened, and that can’t be ignored entirely, especially if you want to avoid repeats.
But it’s possible to acknowledge the mistakes made without dwelling on them. Use them as lessons to grow and improve from, then move on.
Take a Little Time Away From Each Other
Difficult times in a relationship heighten emotions for you and your partner.
Taking a little breather from each other can help to reduce the severity of these emotions.
It gives you the chance to reflect, think things through, and return with some rationality and determination.
Do note that this is not the same as a “break” to test out being single again.
You’re in a committed relationship, but you’re taking a breather so you can start over with a fresh mind.
Remember What You Value In The Relationship
There’s a lot of pain in relationships that have to start over. I
n these times, it’s more crucial than ever to keep your focus on the things you value about your relationship.
Keep your eye on the positive things.
This won’t just help you get through the tough times, but it’ll also reignite that old love and appreciation.
Plus, remembering what worked and made the relationship great gives you an idea of what to keep doing!
Communicate Your Feelings
Communication is central to a healthy relationship. If things have gone south, chances are that this element wasn’t sufficiently present before.
You and your partner aren’t mind readers!
You need to talk about your emotions and discuss events so you’re on the same page. Use non-accusatory language and focus on understanding each other.
If it’s helpful, you and your partner can set some ground rules when you’re about to discuss something serious. Develop a fair system for healthy and productive back-and-forth.
This allows you to ensure that both of you get the chance to speak, listen, and think.
Appreciate The Little Things
There isn’t any gesture or action too small to be appreciated! Thank your partner for doing something simple but helpful.
Express your gratitude for the efforts they’re making to change and improve. Compliment them on traits you like about them.
The more appreciation you show for each other, the more validated and noticed each party will feel.
Rekindle The Romance
You’re starting over with someone you love. That means it’s time to court each other again like you did when you first started dating!
Bring the spark back into your relationship by taking the time to be romantic with each other.
This means scheduling dates, buying gifts, and performing more romantic gestures.
ou may have to take this slow, but making this effort now will set the tone for your continual growth together.
Work On Yourself
You and your partner have both done things that harmed your bond in the past. As human beings, flaws are to be expected.
Some of those flaws are ones neither of you minds or cares about. Others will need more work.
Working on yourself so you can improve is part and parcel of starting over. There’s no point in beginning again if neither of you is committed to being better people. You’ll only fall back into the same patterns again.
So take the time to seriously work on yourself, both for your own sake and for the relationship.
Schedule Regular Check-Ins
Starting over involves a lot of commitment. You need to learn as you go while staying on the same page.
In order to ensure that this is happening, schedule weekly check-ins with your partner. During this time, talk about the direction of the relationship and how you’ve felt in it.
Discuss any problems and concerns and work together to compromise and find solutions. Remember that you can set ground rules for healthier conversation as needed!
Set Joint Goals
You’re with this person because you want a future with them. Why not work together on that future in a more active way?
Set goals for what you want and where you want to be. Commit to working on those goals and putting equal effort into achieving them.
This gives you both something to look forward to and bonds you through cooperation.
You should each also have some individual goals that you’re both committed to supporting each other through.
Being each other’s biggest cheerleader is beautiful in any relationship!
Seek Support For Your ‘Budding’ Relationship
As you try to rebuild your relationship, you’ll need a healthy support system.
Overly relying on each other as your only source of support forms codependency and can be unhealthy.
Finding friends and family who can be supportive of your efforts is crucial. If you need to, you should also consider relationship counseling.
A professional can help identify issues and give you tips and methods to help you heal your bond. Do note that it may also be a good idea for each partner to have individual counseling, too.
That way, you can work on yourselves and the relationship in a healthy way.
Relationships have their fair share of ups and downs. The way you handle those downs can determine whether things work out in the end or fall apart.
If you’re committed to starting over, make sure you’re both fully invested in improving your bond and growing individually over time.
With love, communication, equal effort, and focus, your relationship will blossom.
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