Being told “I love you” is a wonderful thing. It is reassuring, it is warming and it lets you know how your partner feels.
But what happens when he stops saying I love you? Does it mean that he has stopped loving you, or does it mean that there are other problems in your relationship?
To make you feel at ease, and to try to figure out exactly what is going on, here is what it might mean if he stops saying “I love you”.
First of all, it’s very easy to say ‘he doesn’t say it because he doesn’t feel it!’ and that was my knee-jerk reaction.
But there can be other reasons to why your boyfriend no longer says I love you.
Also, there is a very big difference in a man who isn’t saying those beautiful three words much anymore and one who is silent when you tell him you love him.
If you say “I love you” does he say nothing? Silence? Changes the subject? That’s a big red flag and one I wouldn’t ignore.
Now, if he’s just not saying I love you when hanging up anymore, that’s much less dramatic and can mean absolutely nothing.
It’s only natural to become more comfortable with your partner the longer you’re dating them and the sweet gestures like flowers and ‘I love you’s fall through the cracks.
As always, I think you should trust your gut instinct. But your genuine gut, not the excuses and rose-colored glasses we put on for men.
Do you think there’s something more going on? Go through this list and see if any of these possible reasons he stopped saying I love you resonate with you and your relationship…
Possible Reasons He Stopped Saying I Love You
He Is Comfortable With You
The simplest and best reason he might not be saying I love you anymore is that he is comfortable in your relationship, maybe too comfortable, and it just does not cross his mind to say it to you.
He might just assume that you already know how he feels, and because of this, he doesn’t see any need to repeatedly tell you. This is understandable, but relationships do take constant work, and becoming too comfortable can have an effect on your relationship.
If you think that this might be the case, and there are no other issues in your relationship, then you should sit him down and talk to him.
He might not even notice that he has stopped saying “I love you”, and a simple reminder can get things back on track!
He Is Unsure Of Your Relationship
If you have noticed that your partner has stopped saying “I love you”, even when you say it first, it could be that he is unsure of your relationship, and he doesn’t want to keep on saying it back or saying it first, to give you false hope that the relationship is heading in the right direction.
This is good in a way, as it does cause you to take a step back and have a look at the relationship.
Even though it can be really difficult to deal with, you might notice some toxic or unhealthy behavior in the relationship, and it might be worth evaluating things.
If not, and if he is just feeling unsure, it is still something you should talk about, as you both deserve to know where you stand in your relationship.
Make a point of working out whether there is a future for the both of you or not, and if there is a way to rekindle your love.
He Has Fallen Out Of Love
Life is unpredictable, and relationships can be just as unpredictable. People fall out of love, it just happens. Often we have no control over this, whether you are the one falling out of love, or your partner loses his love for you.
He might not be saying that he loves you anymore because he just doesn’t. He isn’t unsure, he just has fallen out of love with you and it is not much you can do about it.
Yes, you can try and ignite the spark again, but give yourself enough respect to not stay in a relationship where you are always trying to make things work, and where you are not getting anything back from your partner.
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He Is Stressed
There might be added stress in his life that you do not know about, either at work or in his personal life.
This stress might be overtaking a lot of his thoughts and be quite overwhelming, and telling you “I love you”, might be the last thing on his mind at the moment.
All of this stress could be causing him to become fairly distant from you. The last thing you would want to do is add more pressure to his life, but you do deserve to know why his behavior has changed, and if there is anything else going on in the relationship.
He Is Seeing Someone Else
Now this is something that you should not immediately jump to – jumping to conclusions can cause a huge rift in your relationship, and you should be fairly sure before approaching him with this.
A reason that he is not saying “I love you” might be because he is seeing someone else, and he either doesn’t love you anymore, or his guilt is preventing him from saying it to you.
This is obviously something that nobody wants to go through in their relationship, but it is something that does happen. Look for other signs that he might be seeing someone else. Does he hide his phone from you? Is he more secretive about where he is and what he has been doing?
There are a few signs to look for that he might be seeing someone else, and keep an eye out for these before sitting him down and talking to him about this.
What To Do When He Stops Saying I Love You
Reignite The Spark
Relationships, especially those that have lasted many years, tend to plateau out into a comfort zone, where both partners carry on with their day and routine much the same as always.
This can cause the spark in your relationship to dwindle down, and this could cause both of you to lose that lovey-dovey feeling towards each other.
Women are often more sensitive and affectionate, and we would most likely pick up on this quicker than the male in the relationship.
This dwindled-down spark might be what is causing him to stop expressing his love to you, but there is a good chance that that spark can be reignited again!
Talk to him about this, go out on dates and look for ways that you can feel that love and passion towards each other again.
Speak To Your Partner
The best thing you can do in this situation is to speak to your partner about why he has stopped saying “I love you”. There might be a very plausible, non-alarming reason for it, but there is a chance that it could signify other issues in your relationship.
Either way, you deserve to know why he has stopped showing his love. Sit down and calmly talk to him to find out what might be wrong!
Give Him Space
Unfortunately, a lot of men don’t respond to words.
What they respond to is less contact. Now, I’m not saying don’t talk to him at all.
But if he’s not treating you how you want to be treated and you’ve already communicated your concerns (with no change on his part), it’s time to get some space.
Having the same talk, nagging, and just annoying him won’t get you anywhere. But you know what will? Distance.
Start doing your own things. Be less available. And when he does come around, is affectionate again, compliment his good behavior.
“I love when you remember the little things” or “I love how affectionate you have been these past couple of days.”
Always give compliments and reinforce the good things your boyfriend does but retract and give him less attention when he isn’t being so loving.
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