When you start dating someone new, you would like to have some idea on what their intentions are.
You don’t have to get too serious with intentions and future plans, but it definitely helps to know whether or not he is into you or if he only wants you for just your body.
It is even more important to work out what his intentions are if you see him as a future partner, someone who you can get quite serious with.
In the early stages, it can be difficult to work out his intentions, but there are some things you can look for to differentiate a possible serious relationship from casual sex.
To work out what he wants, and how he sees you, take a read through the below signs that he only wants you for your body, so you know where you stand.
Signs He Only Wants You For Your Body
Physical intimacy is normal in a relationship, and being with someone who likes to be intimate doesn’t mean that they just want you for your body.
There is a big jump between a man who loves your body, and loves you for who you are, and a man who just wants you for the physical intimacy that you can give him. Everyone wants sex, but if that’s all they want from you, it could be something to consider (if you’re not on the same page of course.)
The two of you need to be on similar pages with what you want and what your goals are for the relationship, in order for it to work.
And this likely won’t happen if he is just in it for your body and you are in it for more.
Here are the signs to look for that he only wants you for your body:
He Plans To See You Late At Night
Think back to all the dates that you have been on – have they been dinner dates that started at a normal time, or does he always plan late-night dates, whether at bars or his place?
Does he not try to spend quality time before you guys get sexual? Take this as a data point.
Unless he has a job that keeps him at work till late at night, this indicates that he wants to skip the getting-to-know-each-other stage and instead wants to head straight to the bedroom.
He isn’t interested in you as a person, and he couldn’t be bothered to take you out on a proper date or spend time with you getting to know you. He just wants your body.
This shows that he isn’t invested in the relationship the two of you are forming, and he isn’t willing to build a solid base for the two of you to grow from.
If he can’t give you just a few minutes of his time, this relationship won’t likely progress beyond the bedroom.
His time with you is purely physical, and once he gets what he wants, he will be done seeing you and likely move on (or keep you in a situationship indefinitely.)
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He Is Very Complimentary On Your Body
From the first time the two of you meet or start talking, you would notice that he is overly complimentary on your body. He would talk about your shape, your eyes, your lips, whatever it is, and seem quite focussed on this.
Yes, he is most likely being sincere with the compliments, and he does really like the way you look, but if it is the only thing that he compliments you on, it shows that it is really the only way he sees you.
He doesn’t see you for your other qualities, such as your intelligence, wit or kindness, and instead is only seeing what he wants from you.
He might even try complimenting you more when he wants to be intimate, to try to win you over and make you fall for him a little more so that you give him what he wants.
The compliments never progress from your body and your looks, because he never plans on progressing past a physical stage with you.
He Is Image Conscious
Many people are image conscious, and that is absolutely fine, and just because a guy is image-conscious, it doesn’t always mean that he is only interested in you in your body.
However, if you notice that he is very image-conscious, it could be a pattern that he is only interested in the physical, and not what else you can offer him.
He would be very into how he appears and how he looks, and he might project this onto you, commenting on your looks, your hair, your makeup and how you dress.
He could also make comments about women who you see in public, commenting on how beautiful they are or something similar.
Being so focussed on image, and projecting this onto you, could be an indication that this is all he sees you for, and that all you are to him is a body and an image, and nothing deeper or further than that.
Read Next: Signs He Regrets Sleeping With You
He Wants To Meet At Home
Whether it is your first date or fifth – if he insists on only meeting at your place or his, then it could be because he is only interested in what you can get up to at home.
Getting to know each other shouldn’t be confined to your homes alone, and he shouldn’t have a problem with going out in public with you, even if it is just for a walk in the park!
This is even more of a red flag when he wants to meet at his place or yours on the first date. Not only is it a little concerning for a woman, but it opens the chances of intimacy even more.
It is better to meet on neutral ground at first, and even for the first few dates. If he agrees to do this, then there is potential that he sees you as a possible partner. If he has a problem meeting outside of the house, then it’s a sign that he only sees you for your body.
He might hide it well at first with clever excuses, such as “everywhere will be busy tonight, let’s just stay in”, or something similar. But the excuses will get old after a while, and you will probably become tired with just staying home all the time.
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There Are Always Drinks Involved
If the two of you do end up going out in public, he might always insist on going for a drink or two at a bar, or just meeting at a bar or pub for each date.
This is fine, and normal if the two of you enjoy going for a drink, but it could also be a red flag. It is commonly known that drinking lowers your inhibitions, and he might think that by getting you to have a few drinks, he might be able to get what he wants.
This shows that his dates have intentions, and his intention is just to use you for your body. Getting you to have a few drinks beforehand really isn’t a very trustworthy way to get about it, and it is a serious red flag to be aware of.
Does he shut down your ideas of meeting for coffee or lunch, and jump straight to meeting for a cocktail or beer?
If you at all feel uncomfortable with the situation, then take a step back and reevaluate whether you want to continue seeing him or not.
He Never Talks About The Future
It is common to avoid talking about the future with someone when you first start dating, but after a while together, you would want to know if there is any potential, and if there is a future for the two of you.
However, if he never wants to talk about future plans, or if he never has an answer for your questions, then it is a good indication that he doesn’t think about the future with you, and is only focussed on the present, and what he can get out of it.
Yes, it is normal for someone to be unsure of what it is they want from a relationship, but he should at least be willing to talk about a future, and let you know that he is undecided, rather than shutting down any conversation or making it seem insignificant.
You would know what you want, and if he cannot get on the same page as you, or simply be willing to work towards the same level, then it is a good sign that he is just in the relationship for what he can get from your body.
Conversation Isn’t His Thing
Looking back – is there a pattern that you notice, where the two of you have little conversation and spend more time being physical together?
Do you feel unfulfilled that he doesn’t actually listen to you, or that you don’t know much about each other because you never actually spend time getting to know one another?
He could be really good at leading every conversation to a physical encounter, without you actually taking much notice, but if the two of you haven’t spent much time actually talking, it will catch up and become quite noticeable after a while.
The beginning stages of a relationship can be physical and fun, where you spend more time enjoying each other’s company rather than conversation – but at some point the two of you need to be able to communicate openly if you want to build a solid relationship together.
Not wanting to have regular conversations with you, shows that he isn’t interested in anything serious with you, and he is not investing in your relationship.
He Never Mentions You To Friends
When a man is dating someone who they really like, and who they see a future with, they are going to speak to their friends about her and try to slip her into conversation as much as they possibly can.
However, if he doesn’t do this, and the important people in his life have no idea who you are, it is likely because he doesn’t see a future with you and couldn’t be bothered introducing the idea of you to his friends and family.
Unfortunately, this shows that he is only in it for the short term, and likely just for your body. He considers you to be a short little fling, and he doesn’t see you as in his inner circle.
If he really liked you, and if he was proud to be seen with you for who you are, he would definitely introduce you to family and friends, and not doing so is a pretty clear sign.
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He Never Talks About His Friends And Family
If you have some hope that the person you are dating will be around for some time, you would want to get to know each other as much as possible. This would include talking about yourself, your friends and your family.
One red flag to look for is if he never brings up his friends and family, or inner circle, and if he avoids any conversation about them. There is a chance it could be because of something that happened in his past, or he has nobody close, but if you know that he does, then take note.
He should want to share his life with you, and let you in to know more about the people that he holds dear. If he doesn’t do this, it shows that he doesn’t want to let you in, and doesn’t think that you will be around for very long.
All of this points to the fact that he only wants you for your body, and nothing deeper than that.
He Never Asks About You
There is nothing wrong with having fun with someone and taking things slow for a while, but at some point you need to get a little more serious and start taking time away from the physical to focus on the emotional.
He should be interested in finding out more about you, and getting to know you as a person. If he doesn’t ask these questions to get to know you better, it is because he just wants you for your body, and not much else.
In his eyes, the relationship is purely a physical one, and there isn’t an emotional investment for him.
After a while it will be really frustrating for you, being the only one who is trying to get to know him better, and it will become tiring and obvious that he doesn’t want the same thing.
He Openly Flirts With Other Women
You might not be exclusive with each other yet, which is absolutely fine, but he should at least show some respect towards you and not openly flirt with other women in your presence.
Does he stare at attractive women as they walk past? Does he buy a pretty girl a drink at the bar while you’re there? It doesn’t matter what he does, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable and second best, then it is not okay.
If he doesn’t do this in front of you, he might comment and flirt with girls on social media. The longer the two of you spend together, and the more he does this, the clearer it is that he isn’t interested in you as a partner, but rather as a booty call that suits his needs.
He doesn’t respect you enough to control himself around other women, and this is definitely a huge red flag to take notice of.
Everything Is On His Terms
Do the two of you only meet up when it suits him? Does he take his time to text you back, and when he eventually gets around to it, are his texts asking something from you?
He doesn’t care to fit into your schedule, and instead everything that the two of you do together, or everytime you talk, is only when it suits him.
It might even be as bad as him ghosting you for extended periods, only to message you again when he wants to meet up. He probably is as sweet as pie and really does a great job at winning you back.
When he does contact you, or plan a date, it is for one reason and one reason alone. It is a pattern that might take time to be obvious, but once you pick up on it, then it might be time to cut ties.
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Your Relationship Never Progresses
If he is just using you for your body, he would have no intention of moving to the next stage of your relationship. Due to this, you would feel stuck in the same place in your relationship, and you would never feel like you can progress together.
This can be such a destructive cycle to be in – constantly holding onto hope that he might finally take the next step with you, and doing your best to try and convince him, only for it to never go any further, even if he does promise you the world.
He would either do two things – ignore any conversation of the future between the two of you, or he might make some beautiful promises and never deliver. These promises are likely just to get what he wants, and he falls short soon after, only to repeat the cycle again.
He Leaves After Sex
One clear red flag to look for that he is just using you for your body is if he leaves after sex. He also never spends quality time with you cuddling, talking, or stays to make breakfast.
This is a clear sign it’s just sex in his mind and nothing serious.
Once the deed is done, he gets dressed and says goodbye. Before, he could make some sweet promises to stay, to go for dinner, or to spend the night, but once the two of you are intimate, he would forget about that, or make up some excuse, and then he leaves.
It could even be that he leaves after sex, and you don’t hear from him again until he wants to get intimate with you.
You might be craving something more from him, but he never delivers. Don’t get yourself into the hope that he might change, and rather think about what it is that you want, and make the right move for yourself.
He Never Offers Any Help
When a guy is into a girl and wants a future with her, he would want to prove to her that he can be there when she needs him, and to be her hero. He won’t expect any pay off for this, and won’t expect anything in return.
When a guy only wants you for your body, he won’t have the same drive to try and help you and be there for you when you need him. He won’t have any desire to see you outside of when you have sex, so he won’t show up for you.
If you feel like you can’t rely on him, or if he isn’t one of the first people you call when you need something, then it is a clear sign that he is using you for your body.
He Is All Words – No Actions
For a guy to get what he wants, he would promise the world and everything in it to you, and once he gets what he wants, all those promises fall short. If he was really interested in you as a partner, he would go through with his promises.
If he is only using you for your body, those promises will never come to light. He is only telling you what he thinks you want to hear so that you will be intimate with him, and it can be an easy trap to fall into.
It can take some time to notice this pattern, but if you find yourself starting to doubt what he says, and knowing that his promises won’t come true, then you should take it as a serious red flag that he is only using you for what he wants.
He Always Seems Distant
Not wanting to find that emotional connection with you, he doesn’t put effort into the time you spend together, other than when it comes to sex.
Because of this, he will seem very distant all the time. He might not seem distant before sex, because he is playing his cards just right to get what he wants, but afterwards and between, he doesn’t seem very interested at all.
This could be him not paying much attention to conversation, or it could be him replying with short texts or going for long periods without speaking to you at all.
The effort isn’t worth it for him, and the interest and motivation isn’t there, as long as he is getting what he wants from you.
You deserve someone who is willing to put in as much effort as you, and who has the same intentions as you.
You Feel Pressured
One of the more sinister signs that he is using you for your body, and that it is a very toxic, unhealthy situation for you to be in, is if you feel as though he is pressuring you to do things you do not want to do.
Every healthy relationship should be built on consent and respect, and while it isn’t unusual for one partner to suggest something new to the other, if you feel like he is constantly asking you to try stuff or do stuff that makes you uncomfortable, you need to back away from him.
This is especially true if he offers nothing back to you in the form of a relationship or commitment. He is using you for your body alone, and is pushing his boundaries to get exactly what he wants from you.
Don’t compromise what you are comfortable with for someone who does not respect your boundaries, especially if they cannot give anything back to you.
He Is Risky
Does he take risks with you sexually? Does he refuse to use protection, or take risks on where you have sex? If he does, it could be because he doesn’t actually care about you, and is using you for one thing alone – sex.
A partner who cares about you, and sees a future with you, will want to practice safe sex and respect your body, not put it in harm’s way. There is no reason for him to want to protect you, and he sees your body as something for him to use and have fun with, and nothing more.
Take care of yourself and draw your line in the sand, and stick to it, especially when you think he is only using you.
Summary: Signs He Only Wants You For Your Body
You will meet all different types of people in your life, and date a few of them along the way. Some will have the right intentions, and potential, and others will only be using you for what they want.
Only you can be the judge of someones true intentions. If you are perfectly fine having just a physical relationship, that’s perfectly fine.
But if you want a committed relationship and to take things to a deeper level, then entertaining a man that only wants sex is not in your best interest.
You need to know what to look for in these types of guys, to ensure you are with someone who values you for who you are, and who is not just looking for someone to be their booty call at 2am after a night out.
Paying attention to whether their words match their actions is one of the first steps.
From personal experience, a man who wants more than just sex from you will make the effort to get to know you, make a deeper connection, and go beyond the small talk.
They will take you on REAL DATES. Not Netflix and chill dates. He’ll make his intentions known, and if there is any grey area, it’s likely on purpose.
When a guy cares about you, they will try their best to assure you about their feelings. You won’t be second guessing the relationship.
This are difficult love situations to be in, but if you feel used, it’s in your best interest to clear the air and discuss it with him, or move on completely and find someone who doesn’t make you second-guess yourself.