Friendships should be carefree and easy, and you should be able to feel completely comfortable talking to your friend about anything.
As we get older, friendships become a little more selective and we choose to surround ourselves with a few very important friends, but you need to make sure that your friendships are healthy.
One common problem found in friendships is that one friend tries to prevent the other from having more friends, and this can be considered a toxic trait.
What do you do when your friend doesn’t want you to have other friends?
There is no clear answer as to what to do when your friend becomes jealous when you spend time with others. It is a good idea to look for other signs that your friendship might be toxic, and reevaluate if it is the type of friendship you want.
Navigating these relationships can be difficult, and really hurtful too. Keep reading to find out the signs of a toxic friendship, and how to deal with a jealous friend.
Why Is Your Friend Stopping You From Having Other Friends?
Jealousy can stem from so many different things. Some people feel insecure about themselves, and this can breed jealousy for just about anything. Your friend might think that you could forget about them when you make new friends, and they might not feel good enough for your attention.
In friendships where one friend doesn’t want the other to have other friends, it is usually due to jealousy and insecurity. Having a large group of friends does not mean you love your friends any less, but being social is just who you are as a person.
Your friend might not be as social as you, and this could cause them to feel as though you are being ‘stolen’ away when you make new friends, as because you fill up all of their time, they will be left alone once their only friend is out with others.
You should always do your best to care for your friend’s feelings and accommodate them when you can, but it should not come at a cost of other friendships for you, so you need to decide where to draw the line in the sand.
Signs Your Friendship Is Toxic
If you feel as though your friend doesn’t want you to have other friends, you might want to look out for other signs that your relationship is toxic.
Not wanting you to have other friends is already a red flag to take notice of, but you really should look for other warning signs too. Here are some signs of a toxic friendship:
It’s All About Them
A true friend will listen to you and care about how things make you feel. A toxic friend who is only looking to gain for themselves with not, and they won’t really be interested in how you feel or what you say.
If you feel like you are constantly only talking about them, or if all conversation is always steered towards them and their lives, it can be a very one-sided relationship.
You can notice this if you bring out topics of conversation that are fairly neutral, and see how they react. If they steer the conversation towards them, it is a red flag to take notice of.
There Is Always Drama
Friendships should be easy and create a loving environment, but toxic friendships always seem to have drama attached.
Both friends need to be on the same page, and when that happens, things are generally smooth-sailing. If you feel like there is always drama between you and your friend, it could be a sign that they aren’t all-in with the friendship.
Drama can happen in different ways, whether things are always over-the-top with your friend, or they are constantly always looking to you to help them and make them feel better.
Small things can be blown out of proportion and they tend to make all your actions somehow affect them, and this isn’t fair on you when you just want a healthy, mature friendship.
Its Always A Competition
Do you feel like your friend is constantly making everything a competition? They feel like you achieving anything or making progress in your life puts them down, so they constantly try to have one up on you.
Friends should support you and celebrate your achievements, not bring you down just to make themselves feel better, or try to do better than you just to rub it in your face.
You should never be afraid to speak about your success with your friend, and if you feel as though you can’t without them making it about themselves, then it is a sign that your friendship is toxic.
They Put Down Your Other Friends
When a friend is toxic and wants to keep you to themselves, they will put down your other friends in front of you. This might start out quite subtly at first, but escalate from there.
This could stem from them wanting to put you off your other friends so that you spend most of your time with them, or it could be that they feel insecure, and feel threatened by your other friends.
We all have our own insecurities, but these insecurities should not get in the way of healthy friendships, and our friend’s relationships with others.
They Are Overly Needy
Everyone needs a little bit of love and attention, but there is a line between paying your friend attention, and them being overly needy.
Do you feel like they are dependent on you, and they want you to dedicate all of your time to them? They get upset when you don’t reply to their texts straight away, or they try to always divert your attention away from somewhere else towards them.
You can’t feel like you are constantly trying to keep your friend happy, and maybe even missing out on time with others because they are demanding too much from you.
They Are Hypocritical
Your friend might not want you to have other friends, but they then have a network of friends outside of you, and that definitely is not healthy.
This shows that they want to try and control you, and to keep you for themselves to get what they want out of the friendship.
There might be other things that they are hypocritical about – such as partying or dating, whatever it might be, and it is definitely a sign that there is some toxicity in the friendship.
How To Deal With A Jealous Friend
Dealing with a friend who wants to try and keep you away from other friends can be difficult, especially if the two of you have been friends for quite some time and you don’t want to just throw the friendship away.
In some cases, you and your friend might be able to work through these issues and have a healthier relationship going forward.
Here is how you can try to deal with a jealous friend:
One of the best things you can do to work through this is to speak openly to your friend. Ask them why they feel so threatened by you having other friends, and let them know that you aren’t going to cut out your other friendships just for them.
Your friend might bring up issues from their side that you were not aware of, and it could be the starting point that the two of you need to begin building up your relationship again.
However, sometimes it might just show you that there is no way forward, and you will have to make a hard decision from there.
Include Them In Your Other Friend Groups
If your friend has not met or spent time with your other friends, it might be worth including them in activities together to get them to know one another.
Your friend might end up getting along with the others really well, and they might become good friends themselves.
Introducing your friends to each other could make your friend feel more comfortable with the idea that you aren’t just going to leave them behind, and that having more than one close friend can be healthy.
It is also a good idea to introduce your friend, and include them in your other group of friends, in an environment where they feel comfortable, so it isn’t such an overwhelming experience for them.
Remind Them How Much They Mean To You
We all need a little pick-me-up now and then, and maybe your friend hearing from you how much they mean to you can put their mind at ease.
This doesn’t mean that you constantly have to cheer them up just to prevent any further drama, but life can be busy and we might not always remember to let our friends know how much they mean to us.
Encourage Them To Be More Independent
Your friend might have become codependent on you, and this can be a difficult hole to dig yourself out of.
If you think this might be the case, then encourage your friend to be more independent and spend more time focused on doing things that make them happy. They might just be jealous of your other friends because they do not have enough to keep themselves busy when you are not around!
Let Them Know How Their Jealousy Affects You
Maybe your friend has not considered how their jealousy makes you feel, and how it can be causing anxiety, stress, and isolation in your life.
It really is worth sitting down with them and being open about how their actions affect you, and that you want the friendship to keep going, but not in the same way that it has.
Your friend will either take what you are saying to heart, and try to not continue with the same behavior, or they might try to gaslight you and not make any effort to change.
If the latter happens, then it gives you a good indication that maybe the friendship has run its course and you would be better distancing yourself.
Is It Time To Distance Yourself?
If you have tried and tried to get your friend to trust you and not be jealous of your other friends, but find that they still don’t want you to have your own friends, then it really might be time to limit your friendship and distance yourself from each other.
It can be difficult to come to this decision, especially if you have been friends for a long time, but you do need to put yourself first and surround yourself with healthy relationships that will support your growth and well-being.
Maybe after some conversation and effort, your friend will change their ways and work on being a better, more open-minded friend, but it could be that they are just toxic, and they might gaslight you into thinking it is all your fault.
You do not need a friendship that makes you do mental backflips every time you talk, and there doesn’t need to be so much stress between friends.
Sometimes the hardest decisions are best, and you need to slowly start distancing yourself from the toxic friendship and start focussing on yourself and the friends who treat you right.
What To Do When Your Friend Doesn’t Want You To Have Other Friends
Your friend not wanting you to have other friends is a sign that your friendship is not healthy. They are being possessive and unfair, and you need to surround yourself with people who care for you and want you to be happy.
All friendships take work from both sides, but if you feel like you are always the only one putting in the effort, and your friend is still unhappy and expects more from you, then it is maybe time to reconsider the friendship.
You should never feel bad about having a group of friends, especially if you are a social person who thrives off of connections with others, and a good friend will never make you feel bad for doing so!
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