You are still on a high from a great date that you had, but there is a problem, he hasn’t called you! The high you feel after really connecting with someone and enjoying time together can be cut short very quickly if you do not hear back from him after your date.
It is very easy to assume that maybe you did something wrong, which has put him off you after the date. You will overthink everything that happened and all the things you said, to try and work out where it went wrong.
While this can be maddening, it is important to remember that you cannot just jump to conclusions and blame yourself, and there are other possible reasons why he hasn’t called.
Why Don’t Guys Call After A Great Date
The reason a guy doesn’t call after a great date can vary from him just being busy, to him backing away from commitment, and each case is different.
To try and work out why he hasn’t called after your date, which you considered to be magical, keep reading to find out possible reasons.
He Doesn’t Think You Like Him
While you thought the date went great, he might have thought something else completely. Maybe you were shy and reserved during the date, or you are just naturally quiet, and while nothing was wrong or bothering you, he might have taken this the wrong way.
He might have the impression that you were not into him, and this can be easily understood. Many of us are not very forward on the first date, as you are just getting to know someone and you don’t want to come on too strong. He could have read this as you not being into him.
This comes down to a lack of communication, and also a bit of an ego on his part. He might not have called back not wanting to seem too desperate if he thinks you are not too interested, and he might be waiting on you to make the first call to see where you stand.
He Is Playing Hard To Get
Dealing with someone who is playing hard to get can be the most frustrating experience. The world would be a much easier place if everyone was just open about how they felt and it wasn’t all such a guessing game.
A common tactic is for men to wait after the first date to call, to not seem too desperate, and to play hard to get. He might have read somewhere, or been given some advice, to not call the day or two after the date.
Unfortunately, this does seem to have some effect, as you would be thinking of him more now that he hasn’t called you!
He Is Scared Of Commitment
Many men do not realize the commitment they are getting themselves into before it is too late, and if they are not ready for this commitment, it could scare them off fairly quickly.
He might have planned the date with you thinking he is ready for something light and casual, but as the date went on, he might have realized that moving forward with you could turn into something a little more serious, and he isn’t ready for that.
It could also be that he thought he was ready for some sort of commitment, but when confronted by it, became scared of the idea, and not calling you after the date is his way of avoiding it.
In the worst case, he might have been using you as a rebound date after a relationship, and when he went on the date with you, came to his senses and realized that he didn’t want to get involved in anything else while he was still getting over his ex.
He Is Playing The Field
The two of you are probably not exclusive when going on your first date, so there really isn’t any guarantee that he isn’t seeing other people.
Maybe he went on the date with you and realized that the other girls he is seeing are better suited for him. He could be a playboy who likes to keep his options open, and he is currently playing the field.
While there is no exclusivity between the two of you, this is not fair on you, and he should at least call you after the date so you know where you stand, especially when you have high expectations after the date went so well.
The Date Wasn’t That Great
We are all guilty of romanticizing situations, and you might have thought that the date when a lot better than it actually did. You could have been having a great time, but he could have actually been quite disinterested and was only going along with it all to be polite.
Think back to the actual date, and not how great it was. Was he friendly? Did he make an effort? Did he attempt any physical touch? Was he asking questions about you? Was he smiling a lot?
If you think back and notice that he was talking in short sentences, that he didn’t seem interested in what you were saying or asking you questions about yourself, or if he seemed like he was quite reserved, then you might have a very different view on how the date went compared to how he thought it did.
He Is Busy
Life is busy and things get in the way, and it could just be that he has been caught up at work or school and hasn’t had the chance to call you back.
He might have a very structured work-life balance, and he isn’t on his phone while at work or while busy.
It could very well be that he hasn’t been on his phone, or he hasn’t found the appropriate time to call you yet. Check his social media to see if he has been active lately, or if he has just been really busy at work and unable to be on his phone.
However, this can only be an excuse for a while and after a day or two (max!), he would definitely have been able to find the time to at least send you a text saying hello.
He Is Nervous
It could be that the guy you went on a date with is fairly shy, and is still a bit overwhelmed by the date. He could feel quite anxious to call you, especially if he has deeper feelings for you after the date that make him even more nervous.
He might not want to call and say the wrong things, or call too soon and seem overbearing. Dating is not easy, so don’t expect him to be an expert on it and to have all the moves ready to pull!
He Dates Differently
There is always a chance that you and your date have different views on dating, or have different views on what your date meant.
For you, the date could have been the first of many, where you might be able to build a deeper relationship with each other and possibly get to know each other on a more meaningful level.
For him, it could just be casual dating, where things are kept light and there is no real commitment after the date. This varying point of view could be why he doesn’t call after the first date, and why you might be expecting his call more.
He could want to take things a lot slower than what you do, and he thinks that calling will only speed things up.
He Isn’t Into You
Unfortunately, not everyone you go on a date with is going to be the love of your life, and you will have to date a few people before you find the one (which many people debate is real or not!)
It can be hard to hear, but there is a chance that he just is not that into you, and while you think the date went well, it just made him realize that you are not the person he wants to be with.
This can be a tough pill to swallow, but in a way, it is better that this happens early on, rather than him forcing himself through a few more dates before ending it then, where it might be more difficult for you because your feelings towards him may have grown.
Feel sorry for yourself for a day, lift your head up high, and carry on!
You think that the date was a blast and there is potential, the only thing lacking is him actually making contact!
Not having a guy call you back after a great day can be a bit crushing.
And we try so hard to figure out why or what went wrong. Been there.
At the end of the day, none of these reasons matter.
It doesn’t matter if he’s ‘scared of commitment’ (honestly, that’s a load of BS), he’s keeping his options open (what a tool), or he doesn’t think you were into him (if you were nice, pleasant, and a great date; that’s not an excuse either, he would pursue you if he was into you.)
These are all just excuses. And yes, we can sit down and try to piece everything together.
But I don’t have time to be Sherlock Holmes.
And I know you don’t either. So, whatever his reason is for not calling after a date is HIS reason, his issue.
Don’t spend anymore time than necessary trying to get all the jigsaw puzzles together and figure him out.
Nope! Pick yourself back up, get out there, focus on yourself, your hobbies, and go on some other dates.
Because a man who wants and values you will always call.