How to Make a Narcissist Miserable (8 Things They HATE)

Living with or dealing with a narcissist can feel exhausting. They always want to be the center of attention and are never wrong (at least in their mind).

But have you ever wondered what really makes a narcissist miserable?

What bothers them the most? While trying to make a narcissist miserable isn’t a long-term solution, knowing what makes them tick can help you understand their behavior.

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable

Being Ignored in a Group Setting

Narcissists love being the star of the show. When they’re in a group setting, they expect everyone’s attention to be on them. But what happens when they’re ignored? They feel invisible, which is their worst nightmare.

When a narcissist is part of a group conversation and the spotlight is on someone else, it makes them uncomfortable and frustrated.

They start to feel unimportant, and that bruises their ego. If everyone else is having fun and they’re left out, it’s almost like torture for them. For a narcissist, being ignored is worse than being criticized.

Healthy Boundaries

Setting boundaries is one of the best ways to deal with a narcissist. They hate it when someone stands up for themselves and says “no.” Why? Because boundaries mean they can’t have total control over you.

When you say, “This is where I draw the line,” it forces the narcissist to respect your limits, which they hate doing. Narcissists are used to crossing boundaries and getting away with it.

But when you set firm, healthy boundaries and stick to them, it drives them crazy. It’s like you’re saying, “You don’t control me,” and that’s something they just can’t handle.

Read Next: 12 Weird, But Effective, Ways To Get Closure From A Narcissist

Independent Success

Narcissists love to take credit for other people’s success. So, when they see someone else succeed all on their own, it makes them miserable.

They want to feel like they were a part of your success, even if they had nothing to do with it.

Whether it’s at work, school, or even in a personal hobby, seeing someone else achieve something without their involvement makes them feel powerless.

Narcissists believe they should always be at the top, so watching others climb the ladder can make them feel jealous and insecure.

The more success you find on your own, the more they feel left out.

Refusing to Play Their Games

Narcissists are experts at playing mind games. They love manipulating others, creating drama, and making you feel like you have to react. But what happens when you stop playing along? They lose control, and it frustrates them.

If you stop reacting to their insults, silent treatment, or manipulative tactics, the narcissist has nothing to work with.

This leaves them feeling helpless and angry. They thrive on your emotional reactions, so when you stay calm and refuse to engage, it makes them miserable. By not feeding into their games, you take away their power.

Being Called Out in Public

Narcissists hate being called out or corrected, especially in front of others. They work hard to create a perfect image of themselves, so any public criticism feels like an attack on their ego.

Even something small, like pointing out they made a mistake or correcting a fact they got wrong, can make a narcissist unravel. They might try to deny it or lash out in anger.

But deep down, being embarrassed in front of others makes them feel vulnerable, and that’s something they can’t stand. Public humiliation is one of their biggest fears.

Read Next: 10 Things Narcissists Are Most Afraid Of

Seeing Others Loved and Admired

Narcissists crave admiration and love. They want to be the person everyone looks up to and praises. So, when they see someone else receiving that love and admiration, it makes them jealous.

Whether it’s at work, among friends, or even within the family, narcissists feel threatened when the spotlight isn’t on them.

They might try to undermine the person who’s getting all the attention or act like they don’t care, but inside, they’re seething.

The idea that someone else is more loved than they are is a tough pill for a narcissist to swallow.

Authentic Empathy

Narcissists pretend to care about other people’s feelings, but they don’t truly understand or value real empathy.

Genuine emotional connections make them uncomfortable because they can’t relate to them.

When other people show kindness, compassion, or true empathy toward each other, the narcissist feels left out. They don’t understand how people can be so connected without expecting something in return.

Narcissists only know how to fake empathy to manipulate others, so seeing others share authentic feelings makes them feel out of place and insecure.

Read Next: 15 Not-So-Subtle Signs He’s A Covert Narcissist

Accountability

Narcissists hate being held accountable for their actions. They always want to be right and never take responsibility for their mistakes.

So, when they’re forced to face the consequences of their behavior, it makes them miserable.

Whether it’s a boss calling them out at work or a friend pointing out their bad behavior, accountability shakes the narcissist to their core.

They’ll try to deflect, blame others, or deny their wrongdoing altogether. But deep down, being held accountable makes them feel small and powerless, two feelings they despise.