12 Weird, But Effective, Ways To Get Closure From A Narcissist

Listen.. If you are waiting for an apology from a narcissist because you think THAT’S what’s going to give you closure, you are deeply mistaken.

Narcissists don’t apologize.

And when they do, it’s a manipulation tactic.

So how can you get closure from a narcissists? You have to give it to yourself. There is no other way.

It takes time, effort, commitment and continuously showing up for yourself.

Here’s how you can give yourself the closure you so deeply need to move on…

Ways To Get Closure From A Narcissist

Give Yourself The Closure

One of the hardest lessons to learn is that closure won’t come from the narcissist.

No matter how many questions you have or how many explanations you seek, they won’t provide the answers you’re looking for.

This is because narcissists thrive on keeping you confused and emotionally tied to them.

It can feel frustrating and even powerless at first, but realizing that you hold the key to your own closure is incredibly freeing.

Understanding that closure comes from within is the first, and most important, step in truly moving on. You don’t need them to give you peace—you can create it for yourself.

Stop Ruminating

Obsessive thoughts can keep you emotionally stuck in the relationship, even long after it’s over.

To break free, it’s important to clear out everything that reminds you of them—photos, gifts, videos, anything that triggers those feelings.

Getting rid of physical reminders is the easy part, but the real challenge is stopping the mental loop. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about the relationship, try grounding yourself by focusing on things around you—the chair, the lamp, the rug.

This simple trick helps break the cycle of obsessive thoughts. Ultimately, healing comes when you make a conscious decision to stop dwelling on them.

Each time you think about them, you’re still emotionally tied to the relationship. It’s time to choose to fully let go and move on.

Read Next: 15 Not-So-Subtle Signs He’s A Covert Narcissist

Let Go of the Need for Validation

One of the toughest parts of moving on from a narcissist is the craving for validation.

You might feel like you need them to acknowledge your pain, but that’s not how narcissists operate.

They won’t give you the closure you want because it’s not in their nature to admit fault. Letting go of this need is hard, but freeing.

You don’t need their validation to heal—you can validate yourself by recognizing your worth and the strength it took to leave.

Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and peace, even if they never admit it.

Name Your Negative Thoughts

No seriously!

Whenever a negative thought about your ex pops up, give it a ridiculous or funny name—like “Toxic Tony” or “Manipulative Molly.”

Naming these thoughts helps you detach from them emotionally and makes them easier to brush off. The weirder the name, the better!

It creates a separation in your mind between you and that mean bully. Whenever a bad thought pops into your mind, just say to yourself ‘there’s Toxic Tony again!’

And kick him out. Toxic Tony can’t talk to you like that!

Try it.

Write a Goodbye Letter (And Don’t Send It!)

One of the most therapeutic things you can do is write a goodbye letter to your ex. In this letter, say everything you’ve been holding inside—don’t hold back!

The catch? You don’t actually send it.

Instead, destroy it! Tear it up, throw it away, or even burn it (safely, of course).

The act of writing and destroying the letter helps release the emotions without reopening any wounds by contacting them.

Why You Shouldn’t Send It

When you write the letter, you’ll probably feel a huge weight lifted. But sending it to your ex could pull you back into their toxic cycle.

They don’t need to hear what you have to say—this is for you. Letting go of that need for their response can give you a sense of peace.

Focus on Rebuilding Your Self-Worth

Narcissists have a way of chipping away at your self-esteem, making you feel like you’re not enough.

Now that they’re out of your life, it’s time to focus on rebuilding your self-worth. Start by doing things that make you feel good about yourself—whether it’s a hobby you love or spending time with supportive friends.

Every day, remind yourself that your value doesn’t come from their opinion of you. With time, you’ll see that you are enough, and you always have been.

Reclaiming your confidence is a powerful way to move toward closure.

Read Next: 8 Reasons Why Strong Women Attract Narcissists And Psychopaths

Binge-Watch Movies with Villains

Ever notice how satisfying it is to watch the villain lose in a movie? Find movies where the bad guys get what’s coming to them, and let yourself relate.

You’ll find yourself cheering when the heroes win, which can feel like a little personal victory too.

Watching these fictional characters can give you a mental break while reminding you that narcissists do get what they deserve in the end—whether you see it or not.

How It Helps

Taking your mind off the real pain by focusing on something lighthearted can make a big difference.

It allows you to process the situation without directly engaging with it. Plus, it’s fun!

Marie Kondo Your Ex’s Stuff

Go through every item that reminds you of your ex and ask, “Does this spark joy?” If the answer is no (and let’s be honest, it probably will be), it’s time to let it go.

Donate, toss, or recycle anything that brings back painful memories. This is a physical way to cleanse your space and start fresh.

You’d be amazed how much lighter you’ll feel without their stuff cluttering up your life.

How Clearing Clutter Helps

Clearing out these items not only declutters your home, but also your mind.

With every item you release, you’ll feel like you’re taking a step closer to freedom from their hold.

Read Next: 10 Things Narcissists Are Most Afraid Of

Visualize a Future Without Them

It’s easy to get stuck in the past, but imagining a future without your narcissist can help you move forward and be incredibly healing.

Take a few moments to think about the life you want—one where you’re happy, independent, and free from their control.

Picture yourself achieving your goals and living in peace. This exercise isn’t about ignoring your pain, but about shifting your focus toward what’s possible.

The more you visualize a future without them, the more you’ll realize that you don’t need them to be happy. This helps you take steps toward that future with confidence.

Break Up with the Mirror

Narcissists often try to make you feel like you’re not enough. One of the best things you can do is start seeing yourself differently.

Every day, look in the mirror and say, “I am enough.” It might feel silly at first, but over time, you’ll start believing it.

You’re no longer tied to their warped reflection of you—this is your chance to reclaim who you really are.

Why This Matters

Affirmations can help rebuild your self-esteem and give you a sense of independence. Breaking free from their toxic perception of you is key to healing.

Create a Personal Victory Ritual

Every time you resist the urge to call, text, or even think about your ex, celebrate the victory!

Maybe you do a happy dance, give yourself a little cheer, or even treat yourself to ice cream.

Creating a small ritual for these moments helps you recognize and appreciate your progress. It’s a fun and lighthearted way to keep pushing forward.

Celebrate the Small Wins

Closure doesn’t come all at once—it’s a series of small steps. Recognizing each one helps you feel more in control and proud of the distance you’ve put between you and your narcissist

Have a Fake Funeral for the Relationship

Hold an imaginary funeral for the relationship and mentally “bury” it. Write down everything you want to say as if the relationship were a person.

This can help symbolically put the past behind you and give you a sense of closure. The act of letting go through this unique ritual can feel oddly liberating.

Getting closure from a narcissist can feel impossible, but you can create your own. By celebrating your small victories, clearing their energy from your life, and reinventing yourself as the strong survivor you are, you’ll find peace.

You deserve to heal, and these steps can help get you there.