10 Things Narcissists Are Most Afraid Of

Narcissists often appear confident and fearless, but beneath that facade lies a deep well of insecurities and fears.

These fears drive much of their behavior, from their need for control to their constant quest for admiration.

Understanding what truly scares a narcissist can help you see through their act and recognize the vulnerabilities they try so hard to hide.

Here are some things that narcissists are most afraid of…

Things Narcissists Are Most Afraid Of

Losing Control

Narcissists love being in control of everything around them. Whether it’s people or situations, they need to feel like they are in charge.

Losing control is a nightmare for them because it means they might be exposed for who they really are.

If they can’t control you, they might try to manipulate or intimidate you to get that control back.

When things don’t go their way, they can become very upset or angry, because control is their safety net. Without it, they feel lost and powerless, and that terrifies them.

Read Next: 8 Reasons Why Strong Women Attract Narcissists And Psychopaths

Being Ignored

For a narcissist, attention is like oxygen—they simply can’t live without it. Being ignored is one of their greatest fears because it starves them of the validation they desperately need.

When a narcissist feels ignored, it’s as if they no longer exist, which is terrifying for them.

They might go to extreme lengths to get your attention, even if it means acting out in negative ways.

To them, negative attention is still better than no attention at all.

This fear of being ignored can drive them to constantly seek drama or conflict, just to make sure they’re still the center of your world.

Rejection

Rejection and abandonment are two of the biggest fears a narcissist has. They need constant validation and admiration to keep their fragile ego intact.

When someone rejects them or leaves them, it feels like a personal attack on their worth and existence.

This fear often drives them to cling to relationships, even toxic ones, because the thought of being alone is unbearable.

They might go to extreme lengths to avoid being abandoned, including manipulating, guilt-tripping, or even threatening others.

Rejection makes them feel exposed and unimportant, which is something they work hard to avoid.

Being Seen as Ordinary

Narcissists need to feel special. The idea of being just like everyone else is something they can’t stand.

They go out of their way to show off their achievements or possessions to make others see them as unique or important.

If people don’t recognize their “specialness,” they feel invisible, and that’s a big fear for them.

They thrive on attention and admiration, so being seen as ordinary is like disappearing to them. This fear often pushes them to act in exaggerated ways to get noticed.

Read Next: 15 Not-So-Subtle Signs He’s A Covert Narcissist

Being Outperformed

Narcissists hate the idea of someone being better than them at anything. Whether it’s at work, in a hobby, or even in social situations, they need to be the best.

If someone else does something better, it threatens their sense of superiority.

This fear drives them to constantly compare themselves to others and often leads them to put others down to make themselves feel better.

They might even try to sabotage someone who is doing well just to keep the spotlight on themselves.

Public Embarrassment

For narcissists, keeping up a perfect image is everything. The thought of being embarrassed in front of others is one of their worst fears.

Even a small mistake can feel like a huge disaster to them. They fear that public embarrassment will make them look weak or foolish, which goes against the image they try so hard to project.

To avoid this, they might blame others for their mistakes or try to cover up any flaws.

They always want to be seen as flawless, so the idea of making a fool of themselves is terrifying.

Unmasking

Narcissists wear a mask to hide their true selves. This mask is the confident, successful person they want everyone to see.

But deep down, they fear that someone will see through this mask and discover the insecurities and flaws they try to hide.

Being unmasked means facing the truth about who they really are, and that’s something they want to avoid at all costs.

They fear that if people knew the real them, they would lose the admiration and respect they crave. So, they work hard to keep their true selves hidden.

Equality

Narcissists don’t like being on the same level as others. They need to feel superior, whether it’s in relationships, at work, or in social situations.

The idea of being treated as an equal is unsettling for them because it challenges their sense of importance.

They fear that if they are seen as equal, they might not get the special treatment they believe they deserve.

This fear often leads them to dominate conversations, make decisions for others, and insist on having things their way.

Read Next: 10 Things Narcissists Will Say (And Why!)

Incompetence

Narcissists are terrified of being seen as incompetent. They need to be viewed as capable and knowledgeable in all areas of life.

If someone suggests they don’t know something or aren’t good at something, they might react with anger or defensiveness.

This fear pushes them to hide their weaknesses and overcompensate by pretending to know more than they do.

They might even take credit for others’ work just to appear more competent. The idea of being seen as flawed or inadequate is something they can’t tolerate.

Genuine Intimacy

True emotional closeness is something narcissists fear. Real intimacy requires being open and vulnerable, but narcissists are terrified of exposing their true selves.

They worry that if they let someone get too close, their flaws and insecurities will be revealed.

To avoid this, they often keep relationships shallow or push people away when things get too serious.

They might even sabotage relationships that get too close, because the fear of being truly known is too much for them to handle.

Conclusion

While narcissists may seem confident and in control, they are driven by deep fears that shape their behavior.

Understanding these fears can help you see through their facade and recognize the vulnerabilities they work so hard to hide.

By knowing what truly scares a narcissist, you can better navigate relationships with them and protect yourself from their manipulative tactics.