7 Most Unattractive Traits In A Partner
Let’s face it, everyone has their quirks. But sometimes, the things that seemed cute in the beginning can start to feel a little less charming after a while.
Whether it’s the way someone talks to you or how they handle their emotions, certain traits can slowly chip away at a relationship.
And before you know it, you’re wondering if they’re really the right match.
It’s not about looks or style – it’s all about how they treat you, how they communicate, and how they show up in the relationship.
Let’s dive into seven traits that can be a total turn-off and make you question if it’s time to rethink things.

Poor Communication
Let’s start with the biggest one – poor communication. Imagine being with someone who barely listens when you’re talking or always seems distracted by their phone.
It’s frustrating, right? Whether it’s texting you back hours later or avoiding tough conversations, bad communication can lead to huge misunderstandings.
When someone doesn’t make an effort to stay engaged with you, it’s hard to feel heard or valued.
And if the person isn’t willing to improve, this can turn into a serious relationship killer.
So, if your partner’s communication style is more “silent treatment” than “let’s talk it out,” that’s a major red flag.
But here’s the thing: communication can get better. If your partner’s willing to listen and make a change, it might be worth sticking it out.
After all, good communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about making each other feel understood and supported.
So, take a step back and ask yourself – is this something they’re willing to work on?
Always Seeing the Glass Half-Empty
Negativity can drain the energy out of any relationship. If your partner constantly finds the dark side of every situation, it can feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
Sure, everyone has bad days, but if your partner’s attitude is always “I can’t do this” or “That won’t work,” it’s hard to stay excited about the future. A relationship needs a little optimism to thrive.
If every happy moment feels like it’s being overshadowed by negativity, it can become exhausting.
Don’t get me wrong – we all have our down days, but there’s a big difference between someone who’s occasionally upset and someone who’s always stuck in a funk.
It’s important to talk about it and see if they’re open to changing their mindset.
Because, let’s be real: no one wants to be in a relationship where every celebration turns into a downer.
Disrespect
Disrespect in a relationship can take many forms – from rude comments to dismissing your feelings or ignoring your boundaries.
It might start small, like interrupting you when you’re speaking or making sarcastic remarks about something that matters to you.
Over time, these little behaviors build up and can leave you feeling unimportant or unheard.
If your partner belittles you or makes you feel like your needs don’t matter, it’s a major red flag.
Respect is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Without it, you’re left feeling undervalued, and no matter how much you care about the person, those feelings can erode your connection.
Healthy relationships require partners to treat each other with kindness, appreciation, and dignity.
If your partner doesn’t respect your opinions, your boundaries, or even your presence, it’s going to be difficult to maintain a strong, supportive connection.
A relationship without respect can become emotionally draining and eventually toxic. Addressing these behaviors early on is crucial, but if they persist, it’s often a sign that it’s time to move on.

Lack of Kindness
Kindness is the glue that holds relationships together. But if you find yourself constantly feeling unappreciated, that’s a sign something’s off.
Maybe your partner’s rude to waitstaff, or they don’t show any affection when you need it the most.
It doesn’t have to be grand gestures – small acts of kindness matter. A hug when you’re feeling down, a surprise coffee just because, or even a simple “thank you” can go a long way in making you feel valued.
If your partner isn’t kind, it’s not just a one-time thing – it can impact everything. It’ll feel like they’re only thinking about themselves, and over time, that can make the relationship feel really one-sided.
Kindness can be learned, but only if both partners are willing to put in the effort. So, if you’re not getting that from them, it might be time for a serious talk about how you both show up for each other.
Arrogance
Confidence can be incredibly attractive, but when confidence turns into arrogance, it becomes a huge turn-off.
Arrogance often involves someone putting themselves on a pedestal, acting like they know everything, or constantly bragging about their achievements.
It’s one thing to feel proud of your accomplishments, but it’s another to constantly remind others about how amazing you are – and, more importantly, how everyone else is “less than” you.
When someone is arrogant, it’s tough to feel like an equal partner in the relationship. They might dismiss your achievements or make you feel like you’re always in their shadow.
Relationships should be about supporting each other, not one person constantly trying to outshine the other.
Arrogance can make you feel like you’re not enough, and over time, this can seriously damage your self-esteem.
While it’s important for both partners to feel confident, humility and kindness are what make a partnership truly equal.
Arrogance, on the other hand, can isolate you and lead to an unhealthy power dynamic.
Being Self-Centered
We all know that one person who always seems to talk about themselves and never asks about you.
At first, it might feel harmless, but after a while, it can make you feel invisible in the relationship.
If your partner never makes an effort to check in with you, share their thoughts, or even ask how your day went, it starts to feel more like you’re a spectator in your own relationship.
Self-centeredness can be a huge roadblock to real intimacy. A good relationship is all about give and take.
If you’re the one doing all the giving, you’ll start to feel like you’re doing all the work while your partner sits back.
And let’s be real – that’s no fun. The good news is, this is something that can change – but only if your partner is willing to acknowledge it and put in the effort.
Are they ready to shift the focus from “me” to “us”?
Sarcasm That’s Not Funny
Sarcasm might be funny in small doses, but if it’s the only way your partner communicates, it can get old fast.
Sarcastic comments can easily slip into hurtful territory, especially when things get serious.
If your partner uses sarcasm to avoid deep conversations or make light of your feelings, it can feel like they’re not taking the relationship seriously.
And let’s be honest – it’s hard to have a real, meaningful connection with someone who hides behind humor instead of being vulnerable.
If sarcasm is used as a defense mechanism, it might be worth addressing.
Sarcasm can mask deeper insecurities or fears, and getting to the root of that can help you both communicate better.
But if they’re not willing to drop the snarky remarks and have an honest conversation, that’s a big sign it’s time to move on.
Jealousy and Control
Jealousy is a tough one. While it’s normal to feel protective of your partner, when jealousy turns into possessiveness or control, it can suffocate the relationship.
If your partner gets upset over you talking to someone else or questions every move you make, it starts to feel less like love and more like restriction.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and jealousy erodes that trust over time.
No one wants to feel like they’re being watched all the time. If your partner is constantly questioning your loyalty or trying to control your actions, it’s time for a serious conversation.
Relationships should be about supporting each other, not keeping each other in check.

Flakiness and Broken Promises
Flakiness is a major relationship killer. If your partner constantly cancels plans, shows up late, or just doesn’t follow through, it can make you feel like an afterthought.
You deserve someone who values your time and respects your commitments. If you find yourself always waiting around or making excuses for their behavior, it’s a clear sign that things need to change.
Flakiness can sometimes be a sign of deeper issues, like immaturity or a lack of respect for you. But it’s important to ask yourself if you’re willing to tolerate it.
If they’re not willing to make an effort to be reliable and dependable, it might be time to let go and find someone who values you as much as you value them.
Lack of Accountability
A partner who never takes responsibility for their actions can quickly become a source of frustration.
Whether they’re always passing the blame or making excuses, it’s draining to be with someone who won’t own up to their mistakes.
Everyone messes up – it’s part of being human – but being able to say “I was wrong” and making an effort to do better is what shows maturity.
When your partner constantly refuses to take responsibility, it reflects a lack of integrity and emotional growth.
This behavior can quickly become toxic, as it may leave you feeling like you’re the only one who cares about making things right.
If they’re always pointing fingers at others or coming up with excuses for why things went wrong, it prevents real progress in the relationship. Trust is built on honesty and accountability.
If your partner can’t admit when they’ve done something wrong, it’s hard to feel like you’re working together as a team.
Accountability is key in a healthy relationship – both partners should be able to reflect on their actions and take steps to improve.
Without it, the relationship can feel one-sided, leaving you frustrated and emotionally exhausted.
All in all…
It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of a new relationship, but as time goes on, certain traits can start to show that are anything but attractive.
Whether it’s poor communication, constant negativity, or a lack of kindness, these traits can take a toll on your happiness and the relationship’s longevity.
It’s important to recognize them early on and decide if they’re something you can live with – or if they’re deal-breakers.
At the end of the day, you deserve a partner who treats you with respect, kindness, and love.
Founder. Entrepreneur. Recovering Perfectionist. Not necessarily in that order.
I run on bad jokes and good food. Lover of life and experiences, I did the nomad thing for four years.
Semi-Based in Miami currently.
In my free time, you can find me reading, running my cats Tinder profile, or trying out a new fitness class. You can find me on Instagram