A text from your crush is exciting, and sends your heart racing a little bit! The text shows they are thinking of you and want to chat, which are always good signs!
The problem comes in as time goes by, when he still texts you, but more infrequently and seems distant. What does that mean?
Trying to decode this mixed message is so difficult, and can really take you on quite a rollercoaster ride!
His distant and infrequent texts will definitely make you paranoid, and while it might be a sign that things are going badly, there are some cases where it doesn’t mean much at all.
As confusing as this sounds, it might help you to read the below reasons why he might be distant and still texting, to work out which you think is true to your situation!
What It Could Mean If He’s Distant But Still Texts
There are many things that his texts becoming more distant might mean, so it is worth going through the possible reasons before jumping to conclusions!
The Relationship Is Maturing
The start of a relationship, or when you are still in the ‘crush’ stage can be so full-on and intensive. You stay up late chatting via text and you can’t get them out of your mind!
However, this isn’t very sustainable, and as the relationship matures, these feelings mature as well. The texts become less and other things in your life start taking up more of your time and thoughts.
This is really natural and something to be expected, however, if your partner experiences this first, and starts texting less before you, it can come as a worry.
If your relationship is still new and this happens, then there is some cause for concern, but if you have been together for a while, this is something that you can expect to happen.
He Has Lost Interest
Unfortunately, not everyone you spend time texting will be the one you end up with forever!
There is a chance that he has become more distant over text because he just doesn’t feel that spark anymore, and he has lost interest.
This can be confusing as he would be sending mixed signals by still actually texting you, but it could be that he is just keeping his options open.
He won’t be putting too much effort into his texts because he just isn’t feeling it, but he is making a point of sending them just to keep you close by in case.
There is no point in chasing after someone who isn’t interested in you, so make the decision to cut it short before you get even more hurt!
He Is Busy
He may have made extra effort in the beginning to text you and be engaging with you, but this effort might have become a bit much over time and he now has to get back to work and to other commitments.
He might still be really interested in you, but cannot find the spare time to constantly text and put so much effort into his texts.
He might have gone back to studying or work might be crazy at the moment. All these reasons could see him becoming more distant, but it doesn’t mean that he isn’t still into you.
However, if you know me and the advice I give, you already know how I feel about the ‘he’s busy’ excuse.
I don’t believe anyone is TOO busy to respond to someone they care about. And even if his calendar is very full, he can still easily send a ‘I’m swamped at work, I’ll give you a call when I get the chance” message.
So although, yes, technically he can be busy. I don’t think this is a good enough excuse, ever. You make and find the time for the people you care about.
He Is Testing You
There is a chance that he feels as though he was putting most of the effort into texting and communicating, and he might be pulling back in order to see if you pick up and make the effort.
He might be unsure of your relationship and is testing you to see if you are into him and are willing to put in the effort to keep the relationship going.
If he is distant and you put in the effort to keep the communication going and he goes back to his old self again, this could very well be the reason!
Men need reassurance too, and while this might not be the best way of going about it, at least it shows that he is still interested in you!
What To Do If He’s Distant
You might be left feeling a bit down and confused about what to do if he becomes distant, but still texts (and sends mixed signals!) To help you out, here are some things that you could do!
Ask Him (Sorta)
Now, here you can take the direct approach and ask him ‘why have you been so distant” but if you just started dating someone, I think that would scare them away.
They may start feeling suffocated.
Instead, I would take the less direct approach and ask him how works been going and what he’s been up to.
If he says things like ‘not much, just work and hanging out with friends and stuff” you have your answer.
If he says he’s under a lot of pressure because of this-and-that with a client, yada-yada, then you’ll have to decide for yourself.
Trust your intuition and gut on these things.
This might seem a little childish, but a good way to see if he is still interested is to stop texting. This is if you are making all the first moves and texting him first.
If you stop texting, does texting stop altogether?
If he stops messaging you if you do not message first, he probably isn’t that into you and you should rather not keep your hopes up that something might happen!
If he never texts you first but always responds, I would move along quickly.
I don’t want to be placed in the after-thought category with anyone, and you shouldn’t either!
See It From His Point
It always helps to see a problem from other people’s point of view. Maybe he has other stuff going on in his life that is taking his attention away from you.
Instead of getting upset because you think you should be the center of his universe, put yourself in his shoes and see how you would be feeling.
This could help you understand why he is still texting but is distant, and will stop you from jumping to the worst-case scenario!
He Texts, But Is Distant
The best way to work out why he might be distant, but still texting, is to speak to him.
It is better to work these things out earlier rather than later, as it gives you the opportunity to understand his side sooner or to move on if he just isn’t interested anymore.
As always, I encourage you to value yourself.
Remember one of my absolute favorite phrases (because it’s true) : ‘If he wanted to, he would”
If he wanted to, he would.
Okay? So let’s stop making excuses, trying to put all the puzzle pieces together and figure out whether or not you’re a priority in his life.
Unfortunately, nine-times-out-of-ten, if you’re asking this question, it’s because you’re not.
Men that truly value and want a connection with you will go out of their way to do so. They won’t leave any seeds of doubt in your mind.
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