Breakups can be really hard! Whether you were the one ending the relationship, or were on the other end, you would go through so many different emotions and stages to be able to recover and move on.
Recovering from a breakup itself is tough, but what makes it even more difficult is if your ex broke up with you, but still wants to hang out!
This sends so many mixed signals. Does he want to get back together? Is he stringing you along? Does he just miss your time together? All of these questions, and likely much more, would be running through your mind.
To help you work through this confusing time, and try to work out why exactly he is now wanting to hang out after you have broken up, we have listed some of the reasons it might be happening, and how you can work through it!
What Does It Mean If He Still Wants To Hang Out?
While there are no straight answers as to why your ex would still want to hang out with you, there are some common scenarios that you can consider.
Each relationship, even those that have ended, are unique and have their own circumstances and emotions attached. So consider how your relationship was, how it ended, and how your ex might be acting when working out what it means when he wants to hang out.
These are some of the reasons that he broke up with you but still wants to hang out, which will help you work out the intent behind his actions, and if there is anything else going on that you should know about, or if the two of you are just going to be friends!
He Wants To Get Back Together
This can be super confusing because he was the one that broke up with you in the first place!
It could be that he wants to hang out straight after breaking up, or you two haven’t been in contact for quite some time, and then he wants to hang out with you again.
Everyone handles breakups differently, and he might have been able to go on not missing you for a while, but then nostalgia creeps up and he starts remembering all of the good things from your relationship.
You will be able to notice this quite easily if the two of you do hang out and he starts bringing up bits of your past and talking about good memories. He is trying to get you to think back on the good days, and hopefully think that life is better together.
He might also start apologizing for how he acted in the relationship or during the breakup. You may never have heard an apology from him before, but now they don’t seem to be ending!
The nostalgia and apologies are all signs that he is wanting to get back together again, and how you wish to proceed is completely up to you.
Just keep in mind that even though he might be talking about all the good bits of your relationship, there may have been bad bits too, and you do need to make a point of thinking about these and not just get swept up in the good bits!
He Wants To Stay ‘Friends’
Another reason why he might want to hang out after breaking up is that he wants to be nice and he wants to stay friends.
If you are not over the relationship yet and are still working through the emotions of being dumped, this can be so confusing, and it really can wreak havoc on your emotions.
The first thing to know is that you do not have to hang out with him if you are not ready. You need to be comfortable seeing him, and you need to know that seeing him (without the promise of getting back together) will not cause you more harm or pain.
Seeing the person you are trying to get over does not help the situation at all, and out-of-sight-out-of-mind is best most of the time.
He might also be putting you in the friend zone to get all of the benefits of having an emotional support system there, without actually having to be in a relationship. He would come to you for advice and emotional support, but still, have his options open.
If you are over the relationship and do not want to get back together, this is fine if you are open to it. However, make sure that he is not manipulating you or forcing you into a friendship you are not ready for or what you do not want. He could be using the fact that you are hoping to reconcile to use you as a crutch.
On the other hand, if the both of you have spent time apart and have moved on, there is no reason you cannot be friends again. If both of you are happy to start a platonic friendship, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company, then a friendship might be a great idea!
He Wants Benefits But No Relationship
This scenario is really unfair on you, especially if you still have some strong feelings towards him and the breakup is still hurtful to you.
And unfortunately, I believe this is the most common scenario. A lot of exes want the relationship ‘benefits’ without the relationship.
He could try to manipulate the situation to get all the physical aspects out of the relationship from you, even with the promise of a future together, but without having to commit to you.
Breakups can be lonely, and it could be that this is how he is dealing with the breakup, but it is not fair on you and it can really be a rollercoaster for your emotions.
If he has made it clear that there is no way you will get back together, or if you have decided this for yourself, and you know that he isn’t wanting a committed relationship, you need to question his intentions. If he is asking for a friendship with you, ask if this is how normal friends act.
Don’t let him take advantage of you just because you keep hope that you might get back together. Avoid any physical contact with them unless you are comfortable with the relationship between you two, and don’t do anything that you might regret later on.
If you think that this might be the case, and you are not sure that you can actually hold yourself back, it might be in your best interest to avoid seeing him and to put a pause on any hangouts until both of you have decided what it is that you want.
He Is Keeping His Options Open
He might be the type of person who always wants to keep his options open. Ending his relationship with you has left him alone, but he now finds himself between partners and flings, and he wants to keep his options open before deciding what to do.
This means that he would be hanging out with you to keep you around, and he might even be quite flirty and touchy in order to make sure you are interested. However, during this time he might still be texting and seeing other people and keeping them close by as well.
What could happen is he could act as though the two of you might get back together, only to drop you suddenly one day when someone else more interesting to him comes along. He no longer needs you there, and just like that, he will stop hanging out with you.
Try and work out his intentions before agreeing to hang out. If you think this might be the case, and if you have an idea that he is talking to other people, rather don’t hang out and remember that you deserve so much better.
Should I Hang Out With My Ex?
If your ex-boyfriend asks you to hang out, should you go along with it?
This is not a question that can be answered easily and is all dependent on how you feel and what his intentions might be (which aren’t always clear!)
If the two of you have moved on and are genuinely wanting to be friends, then there really is no harm in hanging out.
Your relationship might not have worked, but you could actually work out better as friends, and if nothing is holding you back, it is something to explore.
However, if you think that he might just be using you and your emotional attachment to him to keep him company, or to keep his options open, it would be worth your while to move on.
You are well within your rights to cut contact with him if you need to, and if you feel like seeing him might be harmful to you.
Only ever do what you are comfortable with – you do not owe him anything, and if you are not ready to hang out, then you can say no and take the time you need to heal!
Unless there was a strong friendship beforehand or a lot of mutual friends so you’re forced to see each other often, I don’t think it’s wise to hang out with an ex.
I think it will be setting you up for a world of hurt and drama. Maybe you are completely over your ex, but is he? Would he be upset if you started dating someone else?
Someone who is still talking to an ex is a major red flag for new love. It could jeopardize your chances with someone great because you’re holding on to the past.
I wish we could just get along and be friends with everyone, especially people we once cared so deeply for, but that’s just not how the world works.
Emotions are tricky. Sometimes you think you have yours under control and then.. BAM! You’re in love again. Do you want to have to get over the heartbreak all over again?
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