Toxic relationships come in all different forms. Some start out great and then decline to an unhealthy relationship. Many seem fine from the outside, even perfect. And some can be quite difficult to identify, even for the ones in them.
However a toxic relationship presents itself and how it plays out, it can be damaging and the recovery after a toxic relationship can feel like an uphill battle.
Everyone will experience a different recovery after a toxic relationship, but there are some ways that you can begin finding peace outside of the relationship.
To help you, here are some ways that you can begin to heal and find peace with yourself while moving on with your life.
Healing From A Toxic Relationship
Leaving a toxic relationship takes such courage and power, but there is still a whole lot of healing to do once you have left. Ending a toxic relationship is the best choice to make, but sometimes the best decisions can be the hardest.
If you have left a toxic relationship, or are thinking of doing so, these are some ways to make it through the barrage of emotions you will feel, and how you can heal after this.
Embrace Your Emotions
There are so many emotions that you could feel after leaving a toxic relationship. This can summon so many hurtful emotions, and these feelings can be really confusing.
In the beginning, you should allow yourself to embrace your emotions and work through all the different emotions you are feeling. The pain, heartbreak, freedom, anxiety, and all else are valid emotions that you need to feel.
Not dealing with these feelings could lead to more pain down the line. Take the time you need to feel all of this, no matter how strange and confusing these emotions might feel.
Toxic relationships are built on manipulation, and if you do not cut contact with your ex once the relationship has ended, there is a chance that they could try to get you to get back together with them.
It can be so incredibly tempting to contact your ex after breaking up, especially when you have so many different emotions running through you. The best choice is to go no contact. Even if you are resolute on not getting back together with them, there should still not be any contact.
They may try anything they can to draw you back in, even if they promise to change or just stay friends.
This can be even more difficult if you are co-parenting with them, but there are some other options available for parents who find themselves in this situation.
Keep Positive People Close
One of the most important things you can do is to keep your support system close. Keep positive, uplifting people near you, who you know you can rely on.
If you do not have a close support group to who you can turn to, you can look to find support groups in your local communities, with people who have been through a similar situation as you.
Make an effort to spend time with positive friends and family members. They can show you what love really looks like, and they can keep you distracted from thinking about your ex.
You will also need their support and guidance when you are tempted to contact your ex again and will guide you towards a healthier journey going forward.
Give Up On Closure
While closure can help with healing, you cannot chase after closure if it is going to do more harm than good.
Wanting closure can lead to you keeping communication open with them, hoping that they might apologize or give you some reason for the way they behaved.
This can just be exhausting, especially emotionally. There is a good chance that this apology will never come (as having to apologize means taking some accountability) Any apologies sent your way might just be another form of manipulation.
Closure does not also have to come from the person who hurt you. Sometimes, closure can come from your healing, and you accepting and loving yourself on your own, and moving on from the unhealthy relationship that held you back for so long.
It might sound so cliché to find yourself, but after a toxic relationship, it can be such a huge step in finding peace. A toxic relationship can cause you to lose sight of who you are, and it is very easy to lose touch with your real self.
One way to move towards finding peace is to put yourself first and do the things you enjoy. Take time to find what you love and who you are.
While this is a never-ending journey, finding out who you are, what you enjoy, and prioritizing yourself can help you love who you are again, and this will give you the self-worth you need to move forward and know what you deserve.
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Be Open With Yourself
What you have been through is something that nobody deserves. Reliving the toxicity and possible abuse can be painful. However, you need to be open with yourself about what you have been through.
If you are not ready to talk to anyone about your experience, you could start by writing it in a journal. Journaling your experience or speaking to someone about it, even a therapist, can help you process what you have been through.
Wait until you are ready to talk about this, and then open up about what you have been through. Opening up and accepting your experiences will help you heal and move on, even though it could be painful at times.
Be Kind To Yourself
Toxic relationships can bring the worst out in people, and you may have acted in certain ways that you might not be proud of.
You need to forgive yourself. We all react differently to trauma, abuse, and toxic relationships, and how you acted then cannot affect how you treat yourself now.
It could be easy to fall back into ways of judging yourself too harshly and thinking less of yourself. Treat yourself as you would someone you cared about, give yourself some compassion, and understand that you are not the only person who has not been through this, and you are not alone in how you are feeling.
Emotional and physical exhaustion is common after a toxic relationship. One way to recuperate from this and to show yourself some love is to practice self-care.
Take a long bath, read a new book, learn to cook, do whatever you really want to do.
Self-care is different for everyone, so try to find something that makes you truly relaxed and happy again. You deserve it, even when you feel like you don’t.
Listen to what you feel you really need and want, and act on this.
You are not the reason your ex treated you badly. There is nothing you could have done to deserve the toxic behavior you had to endure.
Even if your relationship was good at first and then turned toxic, you cannot blame yourself for what happened.
If you find yourself constantly blaming yourself, try to forgive yourself. Avoid thinking about what you could have done differently, and instead focus on moving towards a more peaceful place.
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Find Your Strength
No matter how broken or weak you might feel, you need to know that you have the strength to make it through.
You were strong enough to make it out of the relationship, and you are strong enough to make it going forward. Focus on yourself and what you need, and take the time you need to regain your strength.
You are a survivor and a fighter, and you have the resilience to make it through just about anything.
The road to recovery and finding peace is not a short one. There will be many bumps along the road and many times you would want to turn around and head back in the other direction.
It is at these times that you need to remember why you left and how the relationship made you feel. Keep in mind how strong you are, and know that you can make it through.
If you begin to feel overwhelmed or depleted, take time to rest and recover. It is a long journey, but it is one that you can make it through.
See A Therapist
Sometimes, seeing a therapist can be exactly what you need to help you process and accept what has happened.
They will be able to give you the coping mechanisms to go forward. There is no right or wrong way to heal, so speaking to someone else can help you.
Look To The Future
Finding peace after a toxic relationship is no easy task. With some self-love, acceptance, and strength you can make it through.
Look to the future and keep your eyes set on recovery.
You are strong enough to make it through, and making it out of the relationship in the first place shows just how resilient and capable you are!
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