14 Signs That A Woman has not been Sexually Active In A While

Are there any signs that a woman has or hasn’t been sexually active in a long time?

Whether you’re looking for signs that your ex isn’t dating anyone, the girl you’re into isn’t seeing anyone, or perhaps you yourself are trying to cover up any possible signs you haven’t ‘gotten some’ in a while.

But before we get into this, if you are reading this for yourself, because you’re ashamed you haven’t had any sexual activity in awhile (and want to cover up the signs), please don’t be!

Life, like all things, ebbs and flows. Sometimes we go through dry spells, and sometimes dating just isn’t a priority! It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

OKAY: mandatory disclaimer done… Let’s get into the telltale signs a woman hasn’t had any sexual activity in a while…

Signs That A Woman Has Not Been Sexually Active

Man and Woman on a date - Featured in: Signs That A Woman Has Not Been Sexually Active

Women may question if their body holds any signs of sexual inactivity. To be more educated and confident regarding their bodies, women should be aware of the common indications of a lack of sexual activity.

Let’s get into the typical signs of sexual inactivity for women…


Clinginess can be a clue that a woman hasn’t engaged in sexual activity recently. It could be that someone is searching for emotional approval or attention.

This behavior can be more common in those who have lacked sexual intimacy for a while.

Some women may show vulnerability or be too sensitive in the beginning because they haven’t had someone in a while.

Remember that everyone’s sex life is unique. Don’t guess about someone’s sexual past or actions. It’s better to talk openly and honestly with a partner or someone you’re interested in.

Attention-Seeking Behavior On Social Media

Attention-seeking on social media can link to a woman’s sexual activity. Signs of a woman who has not been sexually active may include:

  • oversharing;
  • posting seductive photos;
  • flirting with multiple people.

Keep in mind that everyone has their own relationship with social media. What’s normal for one might not be normal for the other.

Social media can be a fun place to share pictures with friends and loved ones, but being overly sexual can be a ‘thirst trap’ for new partners.

Mother-Like Behavior

Women might act like mothers if they haven’t had many sexual experiences recently. They may show caring, empathetic, and protective tendencies.

And although these are very natural traits for feminine women, they typically aren’t traits women give to someone who hasn’t earned their trust.

These women might focus on emotional connections and meaningful relationships, instead of romantic or sexual ones.

In addition, they may show a vulnerable side and look for validation from others. Some may also appear overindulgent or hypersensitive due to hormones that they do not address through sex.

Nonetheless, individual women might not fit into these stereotypes.

Lack Of Confidence

Lack of confidence in a woman may appear in many forms. She can have body image issues, show signs of low self-esteem, or simply be so uncomfortable in her own body she refrains from sex altogether.

This can occur due to fear of judgment, lack of knowledge, or self-confidence.

Further indications of low sexual confidence include:

  • Discomfort with one’s own body
  • Avoidance of sex conversations
  • Extreme jealousy or suspicion in relationships
  • Overindulging in seductive or attention-seeking behavior

If you or someone else have these symptoms, remember that sexual confidence can be gained over time.

Confidence, in all areas of life, is something that can be gained slowly. It doesn’t come naturally to most women and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Overindulges In Pleasing Others

Exploring signs of a woman’s non-sexual activity can be key for understanding her life and sex practices.

A sign may be her over-pleasing of you, caused by hormones and a wish to be desired.

You may notice she constantly goes out of her way to please others, without taking her own needs into account.

Other signs could be her need for constant confirmation that she is attractive or desirable, or her unsuccessful efforts to start sexual contact.

Fear Of Loss

Once she starts seeing someone, she may become attached very quickly. She may become fearful of losing her newfound connection.

She might be worried that her partner won’t stick around or that she’ll never find someone who truly understands her.

This fear can manifest itself in different ways, such as clinginess or hesitation to move forward with physical intimacy out of fear of rejection.

Or if she does become sexually active with a new partner, she may become obsessive or exhibit signs of low self-esteem.


If a woman is highly hypersensitive, she may have an exceptional ability to notice every detail of other people’s behavior.

She may remember your words and actions precisely, pay close attention to your food preferences, lifestyle choices, and social circle.

When somebody gets upset or does something thoughtful, she may become deeply emotional.

Some people are very attentive and sensitive by nature, but mix that level of attentiveness with the other signs on this list, and you likely have a woman who hasn’t been sexual in a while.

Get’s Turned On Easily

When a woman experiences a hormonal surge, she may feel restless and fidgety, even if her partner is not in the mood.

She may engage in actions intended to arouse her partner, such as dressing provocatively or becoming neglectful of her work.

During foreplay, she may moan easily due to prolonged sexual inactivity.

In these situations, it’s important not to become impatient or rude towards her behavior.

Rather, partners should respond with gentle reassurance that they are present to enjoy a pleasurable time together.

It’s essential to find a balance between being affectionate and not overindulging.

Kind and softly spoken words can make a considerable difference in easing her anxiety and creating a more enjoyable experience.

Note: This could also just be a woman with a high sex drive or who is very attracted to you! There are always nuances and different ways to interpret situations…

Envious Of Other Women

Envy and jealousy are always ugly traits.

This need for validation, and worries about other people’s sex lives, is quite common among women who haven’t had sex recently.

She may exhibit envy towards those who are frequently intimate.

Even if she maintains friendships with individuals who have partners or enjoy casual dating, she may struggle to conceal her emotions when they share romantic stories.

Her social interactions with female friends may be strained, either due to her own dislike of their company or their lack of fondness for her.

During group outings, they may intentionally distance themselves from her, leaving her feeling isolated.

Laughs Loudly To Seek Attention

Woman laughing loudly - Signs That A Woman Has Not Been Sexually Active

Laughing loudly doesn’t always mean someone is sexually inactive. Don’t always assume that. It could be for genuine humor or simply enjoying the moment.

However, the loud laughs when something isn’t that funny, or laughing uncontrollably and making eye contact with you, could be a way of wanting attention from men.

She’s trying to get all the attention on her and a loud laugh is a great way to do that.

Gets Touchy In Public

A woman who has not been sexually active recently might be overly touchy in public when in the company of someone she’s attracted to.

This is usually a sign that they haven’t had physical contact with anyone else lately and are therefore more comfortable with being close to someone they like.

For instance, she might be more inclined to hold hands or hug than others would in similar situations.

She could also be more talkative, making conversation and trying to get closer physically as well.

These can all be signs that she hasn’t been exposed to sexual intimacy for some time and is now seeking it out.

In certain cases, she may even become overly flirtatious, which can be a way of showing her interest without feeling too vulnerable.

She could compliment you often or give suggestive glances, touching your arm or shoulder whenever possible.

Of course: this can just be a sign she’s very attracted to you and is simply flirting. Notice if she’s like this with everyone or just one person. THAT’S the real test.

Likes To Be Dominated

Sometimes a woman who hasn’t been sexually active in a while likes to be dominated. This could manifest itself in different ways, such as enjoying it when someone takes control of the situation or being submissive in certain scenarios.

For example, she might like for her partner to make all the decisions and take the lead in conversations.

She may also enjoy activities where one partner takes charge, like role-playing games or even bondage scenarios.

This can be a sign that she’s longing to let go and feel safe in another person’s hands.

She’s Abstinent (From Alcohol, Drugs, Etc.)

She abstains from indulging in social activities, such as partying or hanging out with friends, and avoids engaging in mischievous behavior or substance use.

Despite her sexual desires, she maintains a reserved demeanor and avoids discussing topics related to love and intimacy.

She identifies as a workaholic, prioritizing her professional responsibilities as a reason for declining invitations to social events or engaging in playful activities like sharing memes or engaging in flirtatious conversations.

Even when she does experience romantic interest and sexual desire, she tends to keep her feelings to herself, preferring to live a straightforward and uncomplicated life.

Friend-Zones Everyone

Women typically appreciate the romantic gestures of courtship and chivalry, but a sexually passive woman deviates from this norm, valuing platonic relationships over sexual ones.

She just wants to be friends with everyone and doesn’t allow men to pursue her.

This can be simply because she has her guard up and doesn’t want to get hurt.

Or maybe she has very high-standards and doesn’t want to sleep around.

But a decreased interest in pursuing romantic prospects is one of the common signs a woman isn’t very sexually active and has no interest in becoming so.

How To Create Desire In A Woman Who Is Not Sexually Active

Woman upset - Signs That A Woman Has Not Been Sexually Active

(Hint: these tips work for creating desire in all women! Not just those who haven’t been sexually active in a long time)

Please Her

If you are in a relationship with a woman who is not sexually active, it can be hard to know how to spark desire.

But, there are signs that can help you understand why she may be sexually inactive. These could include past traumas or emotional issues.

When you comprehend the grounds, you can begin to take action and create a secure and trusting situation for her to feel comfortable explicating her sexuality.

To help spark desire, you should:

  • Reassure her regularly that you appreciate and lust after her for who she is, not just sex.
  • Demonstrate her affection and attention to make her feel wanted and desired.
  • Take time to communicate and understand her needs and worries to construct a fulfilling and satisfactory relationship for both of you.

Take Things Slow

Sometimes, to spark desire in a woman who is not sexually active, it’s important to take it slow.

Signs she hasn’t been sexually active include:

  • Lack of experience
  • Hesitation
  • Nervousness
  • Wanting validation

Listen to her needs and respect her pace. Envious behavior or pressure will turn her off and create a bad experience.

Taking things slowly can create a stronger and more meaningful connection. This builds emotional intimacy and develops trust over time.

So, if you want to create desire, be patient and go one step at a time.

Build Trust

Establishing trust is essential for any relationship. Especially when it comes to creating desire in a woman who is not sexually active.

If she doesn’t feel secure, she may not be open to expressing herself sexually.

So, it’s important to create a safe space for her to share her feelings and desires. Signs that she has not been sexually active can be:

  • shyness
  • awkwardness
  • lack of confidence in intimate situations.

To build trust, you must listen and show compassion. Validate and reassure her regularly to create an atmosphere where she feels comfortable to explore her sexuality.

Be A Good Listener

Listen carefully. That’s key to sparking desire in a woman who’s not sexually active. Understand her needs, wants, and boundaries.

It could be because of bad past experiences, not finding the right partner, or just not wanting to. Respect her decision. Don’t pressure her.

Talk in a meaningful way. Show interest in her life.

Validate her feelings and opinions. Create trust and comfort for desire. If she’s not ready, that’s okay. Respect her boundaries. Her emotions come first.

Pro Tip: Build an emotional connection before attempting physical desire.

Be Confident And Self-Assured

Confidence is key to triggering desire in an un-sexual woman. Validation, assurance and patience will help boost her confidence.

Open communication, listening and respecting boundaries are essential for a safe and comfortable environment for her to explore her sexuality.

Building self-confidence takes time and effort. But with the right approach and positivity, any fears or insecurities can be overcome.


  • Building confidence isn’t instant. Show patience, sympathy and understanding.
  • Keep communication open to have a healthy and positive sexual relationship.

Show Her That You Desire Her

If you are dating a woman who is not into sex, it is essential to express your longings in a respectful and understanding way.

To make her desire you, demonstrate that you want her. This can be done with subtle, repetitive validations such as compliments and physical attention.

It’s significant to remember that not being sexually active does not always mean a lack of longing. Therefore, you must converse openly and pay attention to your partner’s requirements and limits.

Respectful communication and the readiness to comprehend each other can lead to a more enjoyable and intimate relationship.

Pro Tip: Desire is not only about sex. Deepening your emotional relationship with your partner will also augment desire.

Trying new things and experimenting together can help create passion and attraction in a relationship.

Communicate Effectively

Talking is key to spark desire in a woman who is not sexually active. Watch for signs that she may not be into it. Avoiding intimate touch, not initiating, or lack of enthusiasm can all be signs.

Talk openly and honestly with your partner. Validate her feelings and actively listen.

This creates a safe place to open up. Communication is not only important for sex, but also for a strong relationship.

Be Patient And Understanding

Patience and understanding are vital when trying to create desire in a woman who isn’t sexually active. It could be due to many reasons, like personal beliefs, trauma or health issues.

Don’t pressure her, as this can cause harm.

Focus on building trust, communication and intimacy away from sex. Respect her boundaries and avoid seeking validation constantly.

Talk openly about needs and desires, knowing that sexual activity might not happen.

By being patient and understanding, you can create a secure and trusting environment. This is necessary for creating desire in a woman who hasn’t been sexually active.

Be Creative In The Bedroom

Having trouble creating desire in a woman who’s not sexually active? Get creative in the bedroom!

Watch for signs of her lack of interest, like discomfort, anxiety, and validation of her decision to abstain from sex.

Explore non-sexual forms of intimacy for emotional and physical connection. Try cuddling, massage, and other forms of touch. Build trust and comfort.

Communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Create a safe, supportive environment. Work together to find ways to enhance the sexual relationship.

Remember: Every woman is unique. Focus on building trust and communication for a fulfilling, enjoyable sexual experience.

Be Respectful And Kind

Be respectful and kind. This is essential for making a woman who is not sexually active, desire you.

It’s important to understand that a woman’s decision to engage in sexual activity is hers alone.

Pressuring or coercing her is disrespectful and unethical.

Instead, build an emotional connection with her. Earn her trust, show genuine interest in her thoughts and feelings.

Consistently treat her kindly and with respect. Pay attention to her nonverbal cues, and take any repeated validations of her boundaries seriously.

While it may take time, creating a safe and comfortable environment can lead to more intimacy and desire.

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