Breakups are never easy, and they can be made so much more difficult when there are feelings of resentment left between ex-partners.
You might have moved on as best you can from your ex, and even tried to be civil with them, onto to be met with anger and hatred.
How can someone you once loved, and who once loved you, now hate you for no reason?
If you are in a position where your ex-boyfriend hates you for no reason, you could be stuck with what to do.
It is never a good reason to meet anger with anger, so you will need to try and navigate this situation with dignity and respect for yourself.
Keep reading to find out why your ex-boyfriend seems to hate you for no reason, and how you can deal with it.
How Do I Know If My Ex Hates Me?
It is normal to have animosity between two people when they break up, but sometimes this can cross the line into something more.
Here are some signs that your ex might hold a lot of anger towards you:
- Every conversation you have turns into an argument and he has a go at you.
- He ignores calls and texts and doesn’t even try to have a civil conversation.
- He openly criticizes you, even when in front of other people.
- His body language is off, he is dismissive and rolls his eyes at you.
- He speaks badly about you to other people.
Why Does My Ex Act Like He Hates Me
With no real reason that you can think of, you might be left really surprised that your ex is acting like he hates you.
It can be hurtful and it can be damaging, especially if he is going around saying bad things about you.
Here are some reasons that your ex might act like he hates you, so take a read through to try to see if you think any are applicable:
You Broke Up With Him
This is a simple reason that is often ignored. You broke up with your boyfriend, so he is angry with you.
You two were partners and you would have shared so much together, and breaking up with him would feel like a betrayal. For some people, anger is the way they process this, and feeling betrayed by you was just too much for him to get over.
He cannot do anything to share the hurt with you, so hating you and possibly spreading how he feels, is his best way to get back at you.
You Have Moved On, He Hasn’t
Emotions can present themselves in so many different ways, and the hatred that your ex is displaying towards you could just be born out of hurt.
Maybe you have found someone else and have moved on, but he hasn’t, and this has caused him to feel hurt and feel resentment towards you.
While you were broken up, he might have thought that there was still a chance the two of you could have got back together, but seeing you with someone else has crushed this hope.
Your Mutual Friends Chose You
Unfortunately, when two people who have been together for a long time eventually break up, there are mutual friends caught in the middle, and these friends often end up choosing a side.
If this has happened, and your mutual friends have picked your side, your ex might feel so angry because of this. He could feel alone and he would feel betrayed by those who he thought were his friends.
He might not feel comfortable blaming them, but the anger he feels can easily be directed at you.
Sometimes it is easier to try to find blame somewhere else instead of admitting your faults. A very simple reason your ex might act as if he hates you is that you cheated on him and you broke his heart.
Yes, there might be way more to the story than just that, but at the base of it all, without laying blame, if you cheated on your boyfriend, he has every right to feel anger towards you, even if he did some questionable things himself.
He Felt Alone
You were his ‘person’, his rock, and who he could rely on to feel safe and comfortable. When you broke up, he had nobody to turn to, and he felt alone.
Even if the breakup really needed to happen, he would feel like you ignored him and abandoned him at a time when he needed the emotional support the most, and this hurt he feels then turned into hatred for you, even if it doesn’t run that deep.
What To Do When Your Ex Acts Like He Hates You
It is so difficult to move on when your ex acts like he hates you, especially if this is affecting your relationship with other people. You want to be able to move on with a clean slate, and the anger and resentment he displays towards you gets in the way of this.
These are some tips on what to do when your ex acts like he hates you:
Don’t Hate Him Back
You need to rise above the situation and not show hatred towards your ex. This can be a very difficult thing to do, especially if he is displaying his disdain quite obviously.
Hating your ex is not going to fix anything between the two of you, and it will not stop him from hating you or acting out toward you.
Hating him back is also not healthy, and it just builds anger inside of you and is really counterproductive when you are trying to move on. Holding on to hatred will eat you up from the inside, and is not a healthy way to get over a breakup.
Keep your head held high and don’t rise to his anger. Do not react when he does something that shows his hatred towards you, and don’t go around badmouthing him either.
The way you act will speak volumes about who you are, and at the end of the day, you are the only person you need to worry about.
It is so important to recognize when contact is doing more harm than good, and if the two of you are making no progress when talking, and it always just ends in arguments or insults, you need to make the decision to cut contact.
You do not have to cut contact completely if you do not want to, but restrict it to what you feel comfortable with. The two of you might still have quite a bit to resolve before feeling like you have enough closure to move on, but the contact should only be what you are happy with.
Avoid contacting your ex-boyfriend if there is no need to, mainly when you know his hatred or anger is just going to rear its ugly head when talking.
Do not keep in contact just to make your ex feel better either. The breakup happened for a reason, and you need to put yourself first and move on in a way that is best for you, and which cares for your feelings the most.
Don’t Badmouth Him
You might be tempted to talk badly about your ex when they are doing the same to you, but you need to avoid doing this.
This only adds fuel to the fire, and only gives more for your ex to be angry about. The best way to move on is to actually move on, and not keep dragging his name up in conversation.
You also do not want to say things about him in the heat of the moment, that you might regret later on.
How To Move On
Moving on from any relationship is difficult, and it does take some work on your part to actively move on from your ex. Having him hate you just makes it that much harder!
Here are some tips on how to move on after a nasty breakup, especially when there are still lingering feelings of anger there:
The first thing you should do to try and move on, is to distract yourself. You could spend all day sitting on your bed listening to sad songs and thinking of your ex, and while this is fine for one or two days – you have to get up, switch the music off and distract yourself.
Distracting yourself can come in different forms. It could be taking up a new hobby, spending time with friends, or staying active. At first, it will take some effort to distract yourself, but after some time, it will feel less like a distraction and more like your new way of living.
By keeping busy, you won’t have time to think about your ex and how his anger towards you is affecting you and making you feel.
Find Your Support
You do not have to go through this alone. Find a support system to help you through the breakup, and to help you with everything that comes with your ex acting like he hates you.
This could be family or friends who you trust, or it could be an online community support group that you feel comfortable with.
Having someone or a few people there to help you through the tough times, and to give you a shoulder to lean on, really does make it easier to get over a breakup and an ex who is not being fair after the breakup.
Speak To A Therapist
You might need more support and help than what friends and family can give, and this support might come from a therapist.
Bad breakups, and an ex who acts as if he hates you, can really take a toll on your mental health, and you could really benefit from the help that a therapist can provide.
Try to find a therapist near you who you feel comfortable with, and work through the process of healing and recovery with them. They will be able to provide you with invaluable advice on how to get back to yourself again.
Don’t Move On Too Fast
It can be tempting to start dating straight away, as a distraction from your ex. This is never a good idea. Even if you find someone who you think you are really compatible with, you should take things slow.
It takes time to heal from a breakup, and a new partner is not going to stop your ex from hating you, and will likely make the relationship worse.
However, you should also not let your ex dictate what you do in your life, and do not stop doing what you want because you think it might upset them.
Does My Ex Still Love Me?
Love is a confusing thing, and your ex might act like he hates you, but he really still loves you and is just hurt and not emotionally mature enough to understand how he really feels.
Passion comes in the form of both love and hate, and often the lines between the two are very blurry.
If you suspect that your ex still loves you, even though he acts otherwise, here are some signs to prove it:
- He continues to contact you, even for seemingly unimportant things. He wants to keep in contact.
- In between arguments and insults, he says he misses you or he still loves you.
- He asks friends and family how you are doing, and checks in with others to see if you are still okay.
- He asks about your love life, to check if you are still single or if you are seeing someone new.
- He will tag you in posts on social media, whether funny jokes or sentimental memories, or songs.
- He finds every excuse to stay in your life, even though the two of you have been broken up for a while and don’t have anything to talk about.
- He continues to make big gestures out of the blue, even if you are seeing someone else.
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