Female-led relationships, or FLR, are becoming more popular in society. While this would have been severely frowned on a couple of decades ago, women are now choosing to take the lead, and have a partner who is open to this.
If the idea of a female-led relationship appeals to you, you might want to dive a little deeper and find out what it actually is, and whether it is the right type of relationship for you.
Here is all you need to know about female led relationships and why many are seeking them!
What Is A Female Led Relationship?
A female-led relationship is one where the woman takes the lead and assumes the role of the dominant partner, with the male taking the more submissive role. The woman will be in charge of the important decisions and carries more authority in the relationship.
For way too long, a female taking the lead in a relationship, and ‘wearing the pants,’ was not acceptable in society. But as society moves in a different direction, males and females are being treated as equal in relationships, and this gives couples the chance to decide who is more suitable to take the lead role.
Understanding female-led relationships can be difficult, as there are different levels of a female lead, with each relationship having its own dynamics. Some female-led relationships only see the woman with slightly more control, and in others, the female is more dominant.
Whatever the level is, the basic structure of a female-led relationship is where the woman is in charge, with a partner who is more submissive and willing to let go of control.
I can hear you saying “isn’t that bad? Shouldn’t a relationship be 50/50?”
Some people, both men and women alike, don’t like making decisions and being in charge. They like to be led and taken care of.
This isn’t good or bad, it’s just different. If you’re highly independent, decisive, and know what you want; it’s only natural you’ll be the one to take the lead in your relationship.
While someone who is more go-with-the-flow would hate being in charge.
Do Female Led Relationships Work?
Female-led relationships do work for those who are looking for that type of structure with their partner. If one of the people in a relationship is not happy with the setup, then the relationship will not work.
It is so important for both the man and the woman to accept the fact that the female will take the lead role in the relationship, and that they will be in charge of decisions, changes, and almost everything else.
The level of how much power the female has on decision making will vary with each relationship, with some giving the woman complete control, and others having a significant input from the man. This is up to the couple to decide, but by establishing this, there is more chance that the relationship will work.
For some people, this is the complete opposite of what they would want from a relationship, so it definitely won’t work for them.
It is a wonderfully progressive relationship structure to follow, and it is about time that men and women are given an equal chance to take the lead in their relationships.
How Do You Establish A Female Led Relationship?
Once you have found a partner who is willing to be in a female-led relationship, and who has the same values and outlook that you do, you will need to then establish the relationship.
Establishing guidelines from the beginning will help make the relationship successful and give both partners a clear outline of how things will be, so everyone knows what to expect.
If you are considering marriage, it’s important to discuss these things beforehand. Who will manage the money? Household decisions? Plan social events?
These are all important topics to discuss with your partner early on so you’re both on the same page down the road.
This isn’t an “I want to control everything” conversation. Control isn’t the goal. It should be more of a “I’m very good at managing money, so I think I should be in charge of our finances once married.”
Although some partners naturally ‘fall into’ these roles, discussing who will make decisions for the family is important so there isn’t any resentment down the road.
Here are some guidelines that need to be established:
- Understanding roles and boundaries – Both partners need to be comfortable and happy with the setup of a relationship, and the best way for this to happen is that the roles in the relationship are clear and that both partners accept their role, and know where boundaries are drawn.
- Transparency and honesty – For any relationship, transparency, and honesty are both so important. You and your partner should feel comfortable approaching each other if you are ever feeling uncomfortable with the setup of the relationship. Each person needs to feel heard, and free to express their feelings and concerns.
- Review the relationship – It is very rare that two people know exactly what they want. A female-led relationship might be working now, but it might not be what works forever. Take the time to review your relationship periodically, making sure everyone is happy.
- Remember why you are together – A female led relationship isn’t about power, it is just a structure for two people who love each other choose to follow. Don’t fall into the trap of being more concerned with your role than what you actually feel for your partner. Make decisions because you love each other, not because it is a power play.
- Ignore opinions – There will be many people who think that female-led relationships are not right, and so often people will let their feelings be known. You know yourself and your partner best and should try your best to not let other opinions get in the way of your happiness.
- Take note of abuse – There is a risk of abuse in any relationship, and you always need to be aware of any abuse taking place. Make sure neither the man or woman is taking advantage of their role, either being too dependent, or too controlling. Extremes of either can be a form of abuse and just because it is the relationship structure you want, doesn’t mean it is the relationship that is healthy for you.
What Is It Like To Be In A Female Led Relationship?
The FLR isn’t about who should text first, ask out, or pay for dates. It’s simply allowing any partner to take the lead in the relationship, regardless of gender roles.
A female-led relationship can be incredibly freeing for a woman who wants to be in control, who wants to make decisions for herself, her relationship, and her family.
It allows women to follow what she believes is best for her, and fulfill her desire to be in charge of her own life and family.
Female-led relationships are less about having complete control, but more about women being able to make substantial decisions without having to get constant permission from their male counterparts.
At the end of the day, a female-led relationship is just like any other relationship, but it just has its own roles and guidelines. The relationship will work if both parties are comfortable with their roles and if both partners remember they are together because of love, not because of control.
As with any other relationship, you must always be mindful of your partner, and care for their feelings, and be there to support each other, no matter your role in the relationship.
Keep your love for each other the priority in the relationship, and do what feels natural. This takes off the pressure, and really allows you to thrive in your role, and continue forward as a happy couple.
Advantages Of Female Led Relationship
Female-led relationships have advantages for both men and women, no matter what some people might think.
This type of relationship will not work for everyone, but for those who follow this, there are some substantial advantages.
Advantages of FLR For Women
- FLR gives women a fair chance to make meaningful decisions, changes, and contributions to their household, without having to go through a male’s approval first.
- A relationship might be strengthened by the fact that the female feels that her partner offers more support, attention, and care, by treating her as an equal.
- There is less of a power struggle in a female-led relationship, as the roles are clear. The woman can make her decisions peacefully, knowing she has her partner’s support.
- For some women, having control over their relationship, household, kids, finances, and everything else, is just a part of their personality. This type of relationship prevents them from feeling suppressed.
- While it is a debated issue, some women feel that an FLR allows them more control of their partner, and allows them to change bad habits and help them better themselves.
- It sets clear roles in the relationship, and removes any power struggles that a couple might face.
- Having clear roles in the relationship reduces fights. Both partners know what they’re responsible for and less likely to argue over small decisions.
Advantages of FLR For Men:
- Takes the stress of a leadership role off of men who would prefer not to have the pressure. It releases them from a role of authority that they might otherwise have been pressured to take.
- Some men would prefer to adopt the gentler role in a relationship such as looking after children, tending to the home, cooking and cleaning, and earning less income without the stress of being the breadwinner.
- Men in female-led relationships are able to appreciate their partner more, and better recognize their worth. They see their partners as equals, rather than as below them.
- Many find that there is less tension in female-led relationships.
Female Led Relationships – Making Better Decisions
With the role of the leader of the relationship traditionally falling to males, decisions made were not always family-first.
Giving one person the role of authority without consultation on who this should fall to can often lead to toxic and unhealthy relationships, with one person making decisions that only cater to themselves.
Female-led relationships offer the opportunity to recognize who would make the best decisions and giving them the role of decision-maker. This way, the best decisions are made for the family, for the relationship, and the individuals.
Doing what feels natural and what is best for both of you is key to a successful relationship.
A female led relationship isn’t exactly all that new. Plenty of woman have taken the lead in their relationships for years. It just wasn’t as obvious to the outside world.
A lot of men like to ‘feel like a man’ to family and friends. However, behind closed door, don’t want to be bothered with choices like social events, planning, and financial decisions.
Again, this is all about preference and personality type.
Do you procrastinate and overthink decisions? Maybe taking the lead isn’t right for you, regardless of your gender.
The fact that it’s now more acceptable for women to take the lead is a breath of fresh air for many and shows we’re no longer stuck in rigid gender roles.
Is a female led relationship right for you?!