Wondering what guys want in bed but won’t ask for?! We got you covered…
If you want to turn things up in the bedroom, but you don’t want to necessarily ask your partner what it is that they want, you have come to the right place!
Working out what guys like in bed but won’t ask for can be tough, but we have gone and done all the hard work for you to find out exactly what makes them tick!
Keep reading to find out all the things guys like in bed but won’t ask for, and surprise your man with some of the things that are sure to drive him wild.
Things Guys Like In Bed But Won’t Ask For
You Make The First Move
He might be the one making the first move all the time, and he will absolutely love it if you start to initiate things now and then.
When you take charge, it shows that you want it and that you aren’t just doing it for him. For men, this is a huge turn-on, and it will definitely get him in the mood.
Surprise him while he is busy working, or when the two of you are sitting on the couch watching a series. Intimacy might not have been in his mind to start with, but there is a very good chance that it would be now.
Making Him Work For It
The more you make him work for it, the more he will be into it. Making him work for your attention can be done in so many different ways, such as playful touches, racy texts, lingerie, and even sensual massages.
Make it clear to him that time with you in the bedroom (or anywhere else) doesn’t come easy, and he should put in the effort to deserve it. By the time you give in to his temptation, he will be like putty in your hands.
Treat Him Like Your Hero
Men want to be treated like heroes and being treated like a hero by their partner while in bed will be a dream come true.
Men have a hero instinct, which is a deeply ingrained need that men have to feel like they are heroic in their own lives, and by stroking this part of their ego, you will be able to really boost their morale in the bedroom and make him feel important and sexy.
Such a huge part of intimacy is how someone feels, and if you get his state of mind right, and his confidence boosted, then the connection you share in the bedroom would be better than ever before.
Tell Him What You Want
So many women are too nervous to tell their partner what they want, fearing that they might hurt their feelings, but telling him what you want in the bedroom can be a huge turn-on.
Guys do like to dominate the bedroom at times, but this does not mean that they do not want some input from you. A huge part of his enjoyment in the bedroom is knowing that you are enjoying it as well, and the extra tips and advice you give him can really help this.
Guide him, give him some tips, and take control if you want, and the best part of it all is not only that he would like the advice from you, but your time in the bedroom would be more enjoyable too.
Foreplay is a huge part of intimacy, and you can extend the foreplay as long as you want by teasing him before giving in.
Tease him throughout the day, and even while you are in bed, working up to the main event. Do whatever you think will drive him mad and make him want it.
You could do this through touches or kisses, or even by talking about fantasies with him throughout the day. Teasing him will just make him want it more!
Suggest New Positions
Maybe your bedroom antics have become a little vanilla and predictable? If this has happened, then you suggesting new positions to him will get him so excited to have some time alone with you!
There are some really great resources out there for you to refer to, whether it be buying a Karma Sutra book or looking up some suggestions online. Introducing new positions and new ideas into the bedroom will excite him and possibly spice up your romantic life again!
You and your partner have probably seen each other at your lowest, crawling out of bed after a rough night out in oversized pajamas and all that comes along with it. While he will still love you for this, it might be nice to give him a treat and prepare yourself for some intimate time together.
You could do your hair nicely, wax your legs and other areas, do your nails, and dress in something sexy. Looking after yourself could be a huge turn-on for him, and it will also make you feel more confident in the bedroom as well.
This doesn’t mean you should only ever enter the bedroom when you have spent hours getting ready, but an extra effort every now and then will likely go a long way!
Play With His Senses
Touch is possibly the most used sense when you are intimate with your partner, but focussing on the other senses can highlight the experience even more.
Scent can be a huge part of the sensual connection, and there are some really simple ways to highlight this. You can wash your hair before with a really nice smelling shampoo, you can use a scented body wash, or spray some perfume on your skin.
He will absolutely love breathing in your scent, and it might even be the one thing that drives him crazy in the bedroom!
Vocalize Your Pleasure
Men love having affirmation that you are enjoying what they are doing, and this can be shown by you being more vocal in the bedroom.
Moans and involuntary sounds can be a huge turn-on for him, as long as you do not fake it. Yes, you might have to get used to being more comfortable making noises you didn’t before, but you will probably find that you love the freedom that it gives you too.
Encourage him to be more vocal too, the two of you will love feeding off each other’s energy and knowing that the other person is enjoying it just as much as you!
You Being Dominant
Once in a while, your partner might love you being dominant in the bedroom. This plays in with teasing him and making him work for it, and you can extend this all the way to the end.
Hold him back and tease him, make him wait to finish, and tell him what to do and how to do it. Any form of dominance that you are comfortable showing would really spice things up, and you will probably find you enjoy having some control too.
You don’t have to put on a dominant show every time the two of you are intimate, but a surprise of dominance once in a while can be great for your relationship, and can really excite him!
Treat Him Like A King
This is similar to treating him like a hero, but treating him like a king involves serving him like one in the bedroom, and seeing to his every need.
Wait on him hand and foot, and act on his every request. He will absolutely love the attention and how it makes him feel.
Just remember that you should only ever do what you are comfortable with, and never more than this. Knowing you are comfortable with everything will only add to the experience and make it all that more appealing to him.
Taking things out of the bedroom (or even out of the house) could be something that your partner has been dying to try, but has just been too nervous to ask!
This doesn’t mean you have to do something you aren’t comfortable with, but experimenting with different places to get it on can be fun. It could be outdoors (somewhere safe and away from prying eyes) or somewhere new in the house.
The risk and adventure are a huge turn-on and both of you will probably really enjoy the extra spark it brings. Just remember to be careful and be safe!
Play Dress Up
If your sex life is usually monotonous and in your pajamas, then dressing up for him could be something that he really, really likes.
Work with his interests and play on this. If he is into superheroes, find a sexy superhero outfit to wear. Try out a nurse outfit, a cop, or even a sexy vampire – the role play could be super fun for both of you.
If playing dress-up isn’t for you, then some sexy lingerie will do the trick perfectly. Your racy black number doesn’t have to come out only on birthdays and anniversaries, and a surprise appearance every now and then can do the trick!
Let Him Dominate
We mentioned how he might like letting you dominate in the bedroom, but he would also like the chance to dominate too.
Allowing him to dominate you and take charge in the bedroom now and then will make him feel sexy and masculine, and it will definitely stroke his ego. This, along with some vocalization from you, will be an absolute winning combination.
Let him call the shots, and let him play into his fantasy of taking charge. If you need to, have a safe word set out beforehand.
A small compliment can go a really long way to stroke his ego and get him feeling confident and in the mood.
You can pay him a small compliment during the day, and it is probably something that he will remember for quite a while. Having a confidence boost really does wonders with how he feels in the bedroom.
You can also stroke his ego in the bedroom as well, complimenting him on how his body looks or how well he is doing.
Building compliments into your relationship does so much more than just improving life in the bedroom.
Be Active In The Bedroom
Starfishing is a real thing, and you might not even notice that you are very inactive in the bedroom. He might be too nervous to bring this up with you, but he likely wants you to be more active and participate more in what is going on.
Whatever position you choose to go with, be active and put in the effort, making him see how much you are into it and how much you are enjoying it.
Take the reins and take control, and let him sit back and enjoy it for a change!
Say His Name
Make him know that it is him that you want and it is him that you are focused on in that moment, by simply saying his name out loud.
This takes vocalization further and makes it more personal, and he will really love this. It makes him feel important and it makes him feel like he is doing a great job in bed. Let him know when he is doing something particularly good, or when you want him to keep going.
Keep Eye Contact
It might feel a little awkward at first, but eye contact can really enhance the connection you have in the bedroom. The eyes are the window to the soul, and you will be able to see how much both of you are enjoying it just by maintaining eye contact.
This doesn’t mean creepily staring into his eyes without blinking the whole time, but extended gazes and locking eye contact in special moments. If you feel like the eye contact has been a bit much, you could gaze at his lips, chest, and other areas to turn him on.
Focus On Erogenous Zones
There isn’t only one sensual area for men during sex, and he would enjoy you focussing on some of his other erogenous zones.
This could be his thighs, lips, lower stomach, nipples, ears, behind the knees, and wrists. Kiss, touch, and tease these areas, which will help him get in the mood and tease him for the real thing.
Speak to him about what feels good and where he feels the most sensual, and work with this to enhance the experience for him.
Ask What He Wants
Just like women are encouraged to guide men more in the bedroom, men might also need a platform to let you know what they want too.
Ask him what he might want to try in the bedroom, and be open to any new ideas that he gives. There might be things that he has been wanting to try, or things he wants to change in the bedroom, but he might have been too nervous to bring it up, just until he has been given a platform to do so.
The changes might be small, but they will probably make a huge difference in the bedroom.
Try Dirty Talk
Dirty talk takes some getting used to if it isn’t something you do already, so it might take some time for you to work up towards dirty talk.
Your guy might love dirty talk, and coming from you, it could be like sweet music to his ears! Whisper some dirty words into his ear, and let him know what you want.
Ask him to give you what you want, and not only will the dirty talk help to boost his libido, but it will also boost his ego too!
Wake him up in the middle of the night for some intimate time together, or surprise him during the day when he least expects it. Surprising him like this will catch him off guard, and it will show him that you actually want it, which is a huge boost for men.
You could even hop into the shower with him, or turn the stove off for a few playful minutes. Whatever you are happy with, surprise him and make him feel special!
How To Talk To A Guy About Sex
Open communication in a relationship is so crucial to a happy, comfortable relationship. If you do not feel comfortable talking about sex with your partner, things will never progress in the bedroom.
Good sex and open communication go hand in hand, so if you feel odd talking to your partner about sex and finding out what he wants, and what you want, here are some tips on how to get better at communicating about intimacy!
Make A Time To Talk
Scheduling in some time to have a conversation seems odd, but you need to pick the right time to talk about sex.
Choose a time where the two of you are calm and relaxed and don’t have too much else going on. Avoid talking about it just after sex either, as your partner might see this as you criticizing him.
Being in the right state of mind for the conversation means both of you will feel more comfortable being open and honest about what you want.
The last thing you want to do is be negative when talking about sex with your partner. If they feel as though they aren’t performing well or if they are not making you happy, they could become really defensive and feel deflated.
Rather approach the subject with a positive attitude, on how you can make things better and how you can make things more fun in the bedroom, rather than how you can ‘improve’ things.
Look to make future rendezvous more fun rather than fixing what might not have been right before. Constructive criticism needs to be done very carefully, especially when dealing with bedroom matters.
You would want your partner to be open to any ideas you have in the bedroom, so you need to be open to any ideas that he has as well.
This does not mean that you have to do anything you do not feel comfortable with, but at least be open to listening to what he might want, and maybe finding a compromise for you to meet halfway.
Don’t Use Words Like ‘Always’ And ‘Never’
Using words such as always and never can be too strong when talking about sex. They sound accusatory and too encompassing, and your partner probably won’t be very receptive to the conversation when you talk like that.
Instead of generalizing on your experience during sex, rather pinpoint things that you think could be improved and changed. Not only is this a more helpful approach, but it will be easier to work on improving.
Don’t Bombard Him
Don’t try to tackle every single problem in your sex life in one conversation. Instead, bring up one or two issues to focus on each time you talk.
By bringing up too many issues or ideas, you could make your partner feel like you are unsatisfied and you don’t think he knows what he is doing in bed. Rather just suggest a few things to try next time you are in bed together, and then go from there.
Things Guys Like In Bed But Won’t Ask For
There are quite a few things that guys like in bed but won’t ask for, but as a good partner, you would want to know what he wants, to make him happier in the bedroom!
If you do not want to ask him outright, then take a look at our list above of all the things guys like in bed, but won’t ask for.
Just remember to communicate with your partner about what the both of you want in the bedroom, and focus on the connection you have outside the bedroom too. Some of the suggestions in this article might be just what you need to reignite the spark in your relationship!
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