When a guy, particularly your boyfriend, has a lot of female friends, it can be quite difficult to deal with.
As a teenager dating, this might seem like the end of the world, but as an adult, we have to understand that men and women can be friends, but there is also a line that should not be crossed.
In general, having a lot of female friends doesn’t mean anything in and of itself. It can just mean he enjoys having a big social circle or woman are drawn to him. Some see it as a red-flag that he’s keeping his options open and not ready to settle down. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that.
You want to be the chilled girlfriend, the one who doesn’t stop him from staying in touch with female friends (who he probably knew before you), but you also want to feel secure and safe in your relationship.
Instead of falling into a ball of insecurity, it does help to know what it means when a guy has a lot of female friends.
This can help you make the decisions as to whether you should feel comfortable in their friendships or if you do have cause for concern. Let’s dive a little deeper…
Is It Normal For Men And Women To Be Friends?
It is completely normal for men and women to be friends, and they can have long-lasting, plutonic friendships that have no sexual or emotional undertones to them.
Being able to be friends with the opposite sex with nothing else lingering does show maturity, and these friendships usually last for decades.
This is the modern world – and there is no reason members of the opposite sex cannot be friends. Many women and men start off as friends before dating – but this does not mean that all friendships lead to a relationship.
What It Means When A Guy Has Female Friends
There are many reasons why a guy might have lots of female friends. Everyone is different, some people thrive off of a big friend group, and some people get along better with the opposite sex, even if it is just a mutual friendship.
Here are some of the reasons why a man might have lots of female friends (good and bad):
He Enjoys The Emotional Connection
It could be the case that he prefers the emotional connection of female friendship to what he might get from a male friendship. He might be a more emotional person who enjoys speaking about his emotions, and helping others with theirs, and finds it easier to do this with women.
There is more vulnerability that comes with female friendships, and he might appreciate that he can be more vulnerable around female friends.
An emotional connection to someone is very special, and while this is completely fine in a friendship, sometimes relationships do form from these connections, so it is worth keeping a watch on this. It is also important to make sure he doesn’t lean on his female friends as his emotional crutch and cuts you out of the picture.
As his partner, you should be the one he feels comfortable opening up to.
He Gets Along Better With Women
Some men just get along better with women, and it is as simple as that. They might not be as into the hobbies and interests that their friends are into, such as sports or gaming, and find the company of their female friends much more suitable.
This doesn’t mean he will necessarily head along to the nail salon or the tanning room with his female friends, but their company is what he enjoys more, and he probably feels more himself around females than he does when he is with his male friends.
It could also be that he enjoys a mixed friend group, and wants both males and females around. The female friends he hangs out with could also be partners of his male friends – so consider this before jumping to conclusions!
He Enjoys A Large Friend Group
Some people thrive with a big friend group, and other people choose to have one or two close friends instead. If he has a large group of friends, there is a chance that a few of them could be females, and these could either be partners or male friends, or female friends he has made throughout life.
If you are the type of person who only keeps a few friends close, then it can be difficult to understand his large friend group, and the diversity that it might have with both men and women.
It should be easy enough to pick up whether or not your partner or the guy you are interested in is more into bigger or smaller friendship groups, and this should help you understand the friends he keeps close and the relationships that he has with his friends.
He Appreciates Strong Women
A man who has grown up with a strong woman in his life, or influences from strong women, such as a strong mother figure or multiple sisters, would really appreciate the company of female figures in his life, whether he is dating someone or not.
He would likely feel at home around a group of females, and this would not mean he has feelings for them at all, but female company just suits him a little bit better than male company.
Think about his past and how he has grown up, and who he has grown up with, to determine if this might be the reason why he decides to keep female company more than male company.
He Keeps His Options Open
Unfortunately, some men choose to keep a lot of female friends to keep their options open. This could be difficult to hear or deal with, but if he isn’t completely committed to you, he might have female friends to have options if things don’t work out between the two of you.
When this is the case, it can be easy to pick up on. He would be fairly secretive with his female friends, and maybe not introduce you to them or keep you separate from them. He would be more flirty with his female friends than just enjoying their friendships and keeps his text or phone conversations with them private.
He Likes The Attention
He might just love the attention from female friendships, and while he does not necessarily want anything more from them, he just likes the attention that he gets from them.
It could also be that he enjoys the attention you give him from having female friends, even if this is jealous attention.
This isn’t fair on you, and he shouldn’t look to his female friends for attention if you guys are dating. It is completely okay for him to have female friends and to enjoy their company, but it should not cross the line where he seeks things from them that he should be getting from you.
What To Do If A Guy Has A Lot Of Female Friends
Try And Understand Your Feelings
It is really worth taking a step back to understand why you are feeling jealous that he has lots of female friends.
It is because he gives you a reason to be jealous, or does it stem from insecurities that you might have?
You should always listen to your gut feeling, but you should also not jump to conclusions. Try to work out if these alarm bells are ringing because of some insecurity you have, either with yourself, with him, or with past relationships.
You don’t want to accuse him of something that he hasn’t done, as this could ruin your relationship, but you also don’t want to just push your suspicions to the side and something is going on.
Meet His Friends
To put your mind at ease, you should meet his female friends if you haven’t already. He should be happy to introduce you to them if you have been together long enough and if there is nothing else going on.
By meeting his friends, you will be able to suss out his relationship with them and see if there is anything that you need to worry about.
You might even really like his female friends and make new friends for yourself!
If he does not want to introduce you to his female friends, and he keeps his relationships with them private and separate, then there might be something to be concerned about. Sit down and speak to him about this and see what he has to say.
If your partner has lots of female friends, it does help to put some boundaries in place.
These need to be gentle boundaries and you should never tell him who he can and cannot hang out with, but you should make sure that he knows who his partner is and that a line is drawn between that and his friends.
He should not seek out things from his friends that he should be getting from you, such as emotional support or affection.
If certain things, like perhaps a certain friend is always calling him at midnight – that’s something you need to have a conversation about.
Having female friends is perfectly fine for a guy but don’t let a man gaslight you into thinking your ‘crazy’ or ‘jealous’ if he’s crossing a line.
When A Guy Has Lots Of Female Friends
Men and women can be friends, there is no reason why they cannot be, as long as there is trust between partners.
If your boyfriend or crush has lots of female friends, give him the benefit of the doubt and try to figure out whether you are worried about their friendship, or if it is your insecurities rearing up.
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