As you move on in life, friendships fade away and people change.
Inevitably, you won’t stay close to all of your friends, and at some point, you need to realize when someone just isn’t a friend anymore.
Friendships are so important, and sometimes nobody can lift you up like a friend can.
Keep your real friends close, and look for these not-so-subtle signs that someone doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, keeping your inner circle full of those who want to be there!
Clear Signs Someone Doesn’t Want To Be Your Friend Anymore
They Stop Replying
Friendship does take some effort, and sometimes the smallest efforts are the first to go in a friendship.
If you have sent your friend multiple texts and they simply stop replying, it could be a sign that they just do not want to put in any more effort.
If there is little to no emotion in their messages, or no messages at all, it might be time to rethink your friendship and consider if you are the only one putting in the effort.
You Make The First Move
In a friendship, both parties should reach out to each other, whether it be checking how the other friend is, or attempting to make plans.
When you notice that you are the only one reaching out and making the first move to chat or to make plans, it might be a good sign that they are not interested in the friendship any longer.
Before jumping to conclusions, check to see if they are okay and if there is anything stopping them from contacting you or reaching out.
They Cancel Plans Often
You should want to see your friends, hang out together and talk about everything going on in your life.
Sometimes, life gets in the way and plans have to be canceled, but if you notice that your friend is constantly canceling on you, then you should pay attention.
They might ask to reschedule, and never actually get back to you with a date, or leave you hanging when you were supposed to meet for coffee, whatever it is, it’s not fair to you to put in the effort and have them cancel on you.
You deserve a friend who wants to spend time with you as much as you want to spend time with them! Look out for recycled excuses and last-minute cancels if you feel your friend might be losing interest.
They Are Short With You
Conversations between friends never truly end. You are updating each other with the latest news in your life, and showing off your latest gadgets and achievements.
One way to tell if your friend is losing interest in the relationship is if they start cutting conversations off with you.
They might be replying with short messages or one-worded answers on text or becoming distracted and looking disinterested when you are talking face to face.
You will start to notice this if you pay attention, and soon realize you are the one working to keep the conversation alive when there shouldn’t be much work involved at all.
You Put In All The Effort
Friendships do take work, and this work and effort need to be put in by both parties. You might notice that you are the one putting in all the effort and bringing all the energy to the relationship, and that is just not fair.
You cannot spend your time and energy on a friendship where the other person is not doing anything and is really just draining you of all you have.
Friendships should be uplifting and mutual, not draining and one-sided.
They Are Always Busy
A good friend is always available when you need them, and chances are that you are already that friend, ready to help out, meet up or chat when your friend needs it.
A sign that someone doesn’t want to be your friend anymore is when they aren’t that type of friend, and they claim to always be busy and never have time for you.
This shows they are more important to you than you are to them, and that it is a very one-sided relationship.
They Don’t Offer Support
We all need support, no matter what we are doing. It could be sports, academics, or even your own business.
Friends support friends, and your friends should be supportive of what you do. They should help out where you can, or they should root for you on the sideline. A friend that shows no support for your life and what you do is not a real friend.
Keep people on your side that you know want the best for you, there is no time in life for people who are not interested in whether or not you are successful or happy.
Their Excuses Are Weak
We all get busy, and sometimes trying to fit everything into our schedule is exhausting, and impossible. Your friends will cancel plans on you, and that is fine.
However, there should be some red flags raised if their excuses are weak or don’t add up.
They might have to miss your party because they are spending time with family, but instead, you see photos of them at another event on social media.
If they cannot be honest with you and tell you why they won’t make a meetup, or even just give you a decent excuse, they can’t really be considered friends.
They Talk Behind Your Back
So many friendships break up over jealousy, and one way to spot jealousy in a friendship is if they start talking about you behind your back, and spreading rumors and stories that you would rather keep to yourself.
A good friend would never talk to you behind your back and should be a trusted place for you to be open about your feelings and what is going on in your life.
If you feel like you can no longer trust a friend, it might very well be a sign that they simply do not want to be friends anymore, and it might be time to let go.
How Do You Tell If A Friend Is Distancing Themselves From You?
It’s important to know that friendships (like everything in life) ebbs-and-flows. Unfortunately life gets in the way more often than not and it can be hard to always stay in contact with our loved ones.
However, (and this is a BIG however) people make time for what’s important to them.
Even when we are extremely very busy, it isn’t impossible to take some time out of our days to let someone know ‘Hey! Work has been crazy so I haven’t been able to respond/hang out with you recently.”
It’s important to look at all our relationships with clear glasses (not rose-colored) and be honest with ourselves.
Do we feel valued and appreciated or like an afterthought? If it’s the latter, it may be time to simply move on and stop reading through these lists seeing if we can tick them off or not.
Let your intuition be your guide.
Also, there is no weakness in simply asking someones if something is wrong. You can ask a friend why they’re being distant or if they are bothered by you.
Chances are, if you were searching for this article it’s because you can sense there has been a shift in your relationship.
Ways people distance themselves are by not inviting you to social events, they have been avoiding contact with you (in person or online/text), or they’re suddenly very busy and ‘don’t have time’ to socialize.
If someone you know is doing these things, it maybe time to take a breather and distance YOURSELF from them.
One Big Caveat
I gotta put this caveat in here because it’s important!
There’s was a story I heard years ago. I might be butchering it but the main points go like this:
This one guy didn’t have very many friends and the friends he did have were slowly going away and not inviting him to things. He became very frustrated that he was losing all his friends and didn’t understand why.
He was down to his last friend when that friend eventually stopped calling and inviting him as well. Furious, he confronts this friend asking why he stopped talking and inviting him out.
His friend said “Because you never invite me anywhere.. I figured you didn’t like hanging out with me”
If you’re the type (like I was for a large part of my life) who waits to be invited and doesn’t take initiatives, you’ll likely have a hard (if not impossible) time making and keeping friends.
So I want you to be honest with yourself here. Is your friend distancing themselves from you or have you not taken the initiative in this relationship?
If you are always inviting them out, texting first, etc. then yes, take that hint and move on to greener pastures.
But if you are waiting to be invited and don’t reach out first, it’s important to remember that friendship is a two-way street and you’ve got to put in what you want to get out of it.
My Favorite Friendship Books
Enjoyed this article? Make sure to read these next:
How To Make Friends In Your 20s (Even If You’re An Introvert!)
69 Fun & Flirty Questions To Ask A Guy
13 Thoughtful Birthday Gift Ideas For An Unofficial Relationship