Ghosting is the act of suddenly ceasing contact with someone you had some form of relationship with.
It’s most commonly used in the dating world.
Let’s say you’re talking to someone you’re interested in and everything seems to be going well. Then, all of a sudden, they disappear, never to speak to you again!
There’s no warning, no explanation, and nothing at all. If a guy has just done this to you, you’re likely upset and confused, and you may not know how to proceed.
Here’s what to do when a guy ghosts you.
What To Do When A Guy Ghosts You
Don’t Jump To Conclusions Immediately
Make sure you’re actually being ghosted before you follow through on other steps. A single message left on “seen” isn’t proof of ghosting.
This is especially true if you already have some form of relationship with that person.
It’s okay to send a text to check if everything’s okay when someone you’re close to first stops replying.
If you receive no response to that for several days, then you can start to take other steps forward.
Don’t Chase Him
When a guy ghosts you, he’s not planning on coming back. He made the decision to vanish and leave you wondering what happened.
He’s not someone you can convince to return, nor is he someone you want to return! Don’t chase a ghost, no matter how upset or desperate you feel.
It’s not worth it and, if anything, it’ll just make him even more glad that he’s ghosted you.
Don’t Take It Personally
It’s easy to feel your confidence tank when you’ve been ghosted. You’ll wonder if you weren’t good enough, and that’ll make you question your entire self-esteem.
It’s important to remember that ghosting isn’t really about the “victim” of the ghost. It almost always has something to do with the ghoster’s personal issues and emotional immaturity.
People can ghost for so many different reasons and it’s not worth deciding it’s all your fault.
Remember That You Deserve Better
There are almost no situations at all where ghosting someone is okay. People need to act like adults and communicate directly, even if it’s difficult!
You deserve better than to be treated that way. It’s his loss, not yours. Own that positive energy and bring it with you going forward.
Drive The Nail In With One Final Message
This is not a necessary thing to do. You do not have to ever send another message to someone who ghosts you, ever.
But if you need closure or to be 100% sure you’re being ghosted, there is a way that you can send a good message without compromising your integrity. Just make sure you’re in the right headspace for that first.
In this message, your goal must be to put a pin in the prior bond and end it. You should not aim to win him back, dole out a punishment for his actions, or let your anger out on him.
You should, instead, be mature.
Clearly express your disappointment for his actions, saying you’d have liked it if he had been upfront about his lack of interest.
You might get an apology or you may not, but you’ll walk away knowing you handled it well and were the bigger person.
Cut All Contact
Block the guy who ghosted you on social media. Don’t send him any more texts.
If he eventually gets back to you with anything that isn’t an apology for his rudeness or a good explanation for ghosting, ignore him.
It’s tough to cut contact with someone who ghosts because you want answers.
But continuing to demand them or try to get them will just hurt you more and drive him further away.
Be Grateful That He’s Gone
It sounds strange, but this is all about looking on the bright side of things! People who ghost have a lot of personal issues that drive them to perform this action.
Think of it as the trash taking itself out and count your lucky stars that you dodged a bullet.
Offer No Acknowledgment
If you ever see the guy who ghosted you again, act like nothing happened. Anything you do to go up to him and ask about what happened will feel like a win in his book.
You don’t want to give him that satisfaction. So behave impassively, don’t talk to him or smile at him, and just treat him like a stranger.
This removes any power he may have held over you and makes it clear that you’re unbothered and indifferent. It’s his turn to be confused!
Leave It All In The Past
If you already built a stronger relationship with this guy, you probably have some memories together.
Time to get rid of them all! Delete the photos you shared and his texts. Throw out any gifts he may have given you.
Donate any clothes he’s not coming back for. You don’t need any of this stuff holding you back. Start over with a clean slate!
Focus On Yourself
It’s sadly not uncommon in the dating world to get ghosted, especially in these modern times.
The creation of online dating has made it all too easy for ghosting to be an option for guys. As such, it may happen to you again. The best thing you can do is to build up your resilience to this kind of behavior.
It sucks that you got ghosted, but it’s time to move on. Focus on yourself and your personal growth as you push past this unfair treatment.
Re-enter the dating field and learn to laugh off these ghosts. They’re definitely not worth any of your tears!
Someone who ghosts isn’t really someone worth wasting your time on.
These are people who are insecure, afraid of confrontation, and not willing to perform bare minimum communication.
To be honest, guys who ghost aren’t guys who you would’ve wanted to date.
So don’t waste your time chasing after them and focus on moving on. You don’t need that negative energy in your life!