Mankeeping Explained: Why Some Women Are Choosing to Stay Single

There’s a new buzzword floating around—and if you’re a woman, chances are, you’ve lived it even if you didn’t have a name for it. It’s called mankeeping. And it’s the reason some women are walking away from relationships altogether.

So what exactly is mankeeping? Think of it as emotional labor—but on overdrive. It’s the invisible work of being your partner’s therapist, life coach, social planner, and feelings manager all in one. Sound familiar? You’re not alone. A growing number of women are saying enough.

The Weight of Emotional Labor

For decades, women have been the default caretakers of emotional well-being—remembering birthdays, smoothing over conflicts, and organizing get-togethers. But now, many women are also filling the emotional gaps left by shrinking male friendships.

Research from Stanford University shows that men’s social networks have taken a major hit over the last 30 years. One study found that 51% of men don’t have a single confidant. That’s not just sad—it’s a crisis. And when men don’t have strong friendships, they often lean on the women in their lives to carry the full emotional load.

Three Pillars of Mankeeping

Dr. Angelica Ferrara, who coined the term, breaks mankeeping into three parts:

1. Emotional Support: Women often act as the primary sounding board for men—listening to problems, offering reassurance, and being a safe space.
2. Social Planning: Many women feel responsible for maintaining their partner’s friendships—suggesting hangouts, planning events, and keeping their social life alive.
3. Teaching Emotional Skills: From showing how to ask thoughtful questions to encouraging vulnerability, women often find themselves teaching basic relational skills.

Why It’s Leading to Burnout

Here’s the thing: this type of labor is invisible but exhausting. It’s not just happening in relationships—women report mankeeping in the workplace too, as male coworkers turn to them for emotional support they aren’t getting elsewhere.

And while emotional support is a natural part of any relationship, when it’s one-sided, it becomes draining. Some women are choosing to stay single rather than take on yet another role as someone’s unpaid therapist.

Not All Men, But…

To be clear, not every man relies solely on women for emotional care. Some—especially those in the queer community—have built strong, supportive friendships. But for many straight men, cultural norms around masculinity still discourage vulnerability with other men.

The solution? Men’s groups like the ManKind Project and Men’s Shed are working to change this by encouraging emotional connection and male bonding.

A Better Way Forward

Mankeeping isn’t about villainizing men—it’s about shining a light on an uneven emotional playing field. If we want healthy, balanced relationships, it’s time for everyone to pull their weight emotionally.

That means men developing deeper friendships, building emotional resilience, and—yes—maybe seeing a therapist.

Because women deserve partners, not projects.