Toxic people are inevitable in life, no matter how good you try to live your life, and who you try to surround yourself with.
You might not even notice a toxic person in your life at first, but over time their subtle digs and actions can make you feel worthless, confused, and ashamed about yourself.
Before this person can really take hold and ruin how you feel about who you are, you need to cut them out of your life. The best way to make this happen is to realize who this person really is and to do this, you need to look for signs someone wants to destroy you.
Below are the most common signs that someone wants to destroy you, and that they are someone to cut out of your life completely.
Signs Someone Wants To Destroy You
They Gaslight You
Gaslighting is thankfully gaining more traction and being recognized more as a toxic trait, and it has previously largely been ignored or unknown.
It is an incredibly toxic behavior to display, and someone gaslighting you would be shown through them putting blame on you, or making any problems or issues seemingly stem from your behavior.
They would never accept responsibility, and instead constantly point the finger back to you, or make it seem like your emotions or feelings are the cause of a problem.
Gaslighting will make you doubt yourself and question whether or not you are the problem, instead of seeing this person for what they are.
It can be difficult to spot, but take yourself out of the situation and look in from the outside, and you will clearly see gaslighting from a toxic person.
Their Tone Is Off
Toxic people can be very smart, and their behavior or words can come across as completely normal, all while having hurtful tones that only you would pick up on.
One way that this toxic person might destroy you is by using a different tone when talking to you. They might be saying something completely acceptable or normal, but say it in a tone that they know will affect you.
Their tone changes the meaning of what they say, and they do this to confuse you and make you doubt yourself. It might seem like something really small and trivial, but over time it can really build up to take quite a large toll on your emotional well-being.
They Act Better Than You
Even though they might not know more about something than you, or have less knowledge in a certain field, they will always use certain tones and language that make them seem like they know much more than you, and this can put you down and make you feel inadequate.
People like this have such a great skill in being able to seem as though they know what they are talking about, by using special words and assertive tones, without even knowing much at all. This person could be trying to put you down by making it seem like they are above you and know much more than you.
Even if you know this isn’t true, it might begin to affect you if you feel as though other people believe this, and it can really have an effect on your self-esteem.
They Always Point Out The Negative
Someone who wants to see you succeed in life will always point out the positives in situations, and will always make a point of bringing you up and making you happy.
A person who is trying to destroy you will do the opposite and will try to make you feel negative about every bit of news or success that you have. They will always look for the negatives in situations and use these to make you feel less about your accomplishments.
Think about how you feel telling this person good news- are you already expecting them to be negative about it, even though there is not much to be negative about?
If so, it is a good sign that they are not in your corner, and they will always be looking for reasons to bring you down, instead of being the person you go to in order to lift you up and support you.
They Deflect Any Issues
When you are in a healthy relationship or friendship, you would be able to sit down with someone and talk about any issues you have and find a way to work through them.
Someone that does not have your best interests at heart, such as someone who is trying to destroy you, will not be willing to do this. If you approach them with any issues, they would deflect the problem and turn it around on you.
Instead of facing the issue that you have brought up, they will find another bigger issue that they can pin on you, even if it is completely irrelevant to what you have brought up.
They Generalize Everything
Life is full of subtleties, and like normal people, we accept this. S
omeone who is looking to destroy you will not appreciate these subtleties, and instead will generalize everything when it comes to you.
They will often use the words “never” or “always” when referring to you or things that you have done. If you are late once in your life, they will claim that you are always late.
This type of behavior is meant to destroy your character and bring down your self-esteem, and it is often very successful at doing so.
Dealing With Someone Who Is Trying To Destroy You
The best way to deal with someone who is trying to destroy you is to cut them out of your life completely, and never open that door again.
Unfortunately, this isn’t always possible, especially if it is a co-worker or a co-parent.
If this is the case, and the person needs to remain in your life, you can try and acknowledge who they really are, and take their words and actions from where they come.
Understand that it is not you, but them, and don’t let their words bring you down.
Distance yourself from them as much as you can and only interact when absolutely necessary.
Keep your emotions and anger in check. Rise up to be the bigger person. Not letting them affect you is the best way to get back at them!
Enjoyed this? Make sure to read these next: