Intimacy is not all about sex. It’s about the ways you can connect with your partner, to make you feel closer to each other whether mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or physically.
When you have a boyfriend, it’s important to connect with him on all these levels to build a stronger bond and strengthen your relationship.
This in turn builds greater trust and promotes longevity and loyalty.
Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to be intimate outside of sexual acts.
Sometimes, sex isn’t even the most appropriate action in certain situations.
If you’re struggling with intimacy in your relationship, or things seem a little stagnant, here are some things you can use to put a spark back into it.
Intimate Things To Do For Your Boyfriend
Give Him A Relaxing Massage
A massage is a perfect way to help your man relax after a stressful day or week. It’s also a great way to get physical without having sex.
You don’t have to be a professional to give a massage, and you don’t need any tools or kneading techniques to pull it off. All you need are your hands, and some lotion or oil.
Simply ask him to undress the part of the body you wish to focus on, for example, his back or legs, then put a little bit of lotion or oil into your palms.
Rub it together to warm it up, then rub your hands against his skin.
Putting on relaxing music also helps to set the tone, and you can follow his massage up with an at-home mani-pedi to pamper him even more!
Cuddle With Him
There’s just something so relaxing about cuddling with someone you love.
It may be difficult to explain, but the warmth of the other person makes it feel like the most comfortable place in the world.
Cuddle with your man in bed or on the sofa as you watch a movie, or talk about his plans for the week.
You may even choose to sit in silence and allow yourself to fall asleep together.
Napping together as a couple is really calming and there’s no greater feeling than kissing your partner as he opens his eyes.
Cook His Favorite Meal
Nothing says home like a delicious home-cooked meal!
This time, make it his favorite. Go all out, and even make dessert.
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and they never lied! You may even choose to dress up and make it a stay-at-home date.
To increase intimacy, feed your man his meal.
It will help make the moment even more special.
Slow Dance Together
Slow dancing to a love song under the night sky, or in a candle-lit room is a scene straight out of a movie!
It’s a way to block out the world and be one with your partner.
And, even if you guys aren’t the best dancers and there’s a bit of toe stepping going on, there’ll be a ton of laughter which makes for a great moment.
Unfortunately, sometimes relationships cater more to women than they do to men in terms of doing the things he likes.
How many times have you dragged him to events with you, or brought him shopping?
Do you notice that every time he wants to watch the game he does it with his boys? If so, try to be more involved with the things he likes.
Who knows, maybe you’ll find them interesting and that’s another thing you guys can have in common.
Read A Book Together
Stimulate both of your minds by finding a good book to read together.
It can be from any genre, discussing serious topics such as life or something silly like a comic book.
Take turns reading it aloud to each other, or cuddle up and read in silence. Afterward, you can discuss different things that stood out, and eventually form a mini book club.
Write Love Notes To Him
Love notes aren’t only for middle schoolers and teenagers. They are a great way to express yourself in a form that your lover can keep.
Your love notes can say anything that comes to mind and doesn’t have to be poetic or elaborate.
You can sneak them into his lunches, leave them on sticky notes around the house or put them in the form of an actual letter if you desire.
These love notes will help to remind your man about just how much you love him and are sure to make his day a little brighter.
It also makes a great gift idea since you can put 365 reasons why you love him in a jar and allow him to read one each day!
Shower Or Enjoy A Bubble Bath Together
If you and your boyfriend or husband have a busy schedule and don’t have a ton of time to spend together on dates or outings, why not do mandatory things together?. You both have to shower right?
So, do it together!
If you both take 15-20 minute showers in the mornings, or afternoon, combine the time you usually spend there and use it as an intimacy opportunity.
Work together to cleanse each other, and help the other to prepare for the day or unwind.
You might even use this as an opportunity to discuss something important, or bathe in silence if you prefer.
As simple as this sounds, it is one of your most vulnerable moments as a human being, and sharing that with someone else is as close as it gets to sex.
Play With His Hair
If your man is stressed out, sometimes sex is not the answer. He needs comfort, he needs to be able to relax.
Help him by playing with his hair and massaging his scalp. This will help to soothe him and make him feel safe.
As you do this, he will likely close his eyes and his mood will change.
He will also know for certain that he can come to you anytime he needs comfort or reassurance.
Play An Intimate Game
There’s a lot of fun games you can play to spark intimacy (like Truth or Dare 😉)
One of my favorites is Our Moments which sparks a lot of deep, meaningful conversations with your partner.
There’s a lot of very deep questions like, ‘are you living your life purpose or still searching?’
All couples should have this game (or make their own version of it!)
More Everyday Things You Can Do To Build Intimacy With Your Partner
A lot of peoples love language (I know mine is) is physical touch!
If your partner is the same, make sure you grab their hand often as its such a gentle, non-PDA way to build intimacy.
Buy Lingerie Together
There’s more to sex than just sex!
Building anticipation, like going lingerie shopping, can be just as enticing. This is practically foreplay 😉
Talk About Your Goals
There’s almost NOTHING quite as intimate as opening yourself up and letting someone in (that’s what she said!)
Tell your partner all about your goals, dreams, and aspirations! This will make them feel closer to you and thus build intimacy.
Netflix and Chill (But Really!)
When was the last time you two actually watched an entire movie or series together? Without it leading to some hanky-panky? (I’m so sorry I just used the word hanky-panky!)
Site down with some wine, snacks, and actually watch something together.
It’s a great way to spend some quality time together!
Give Them A Non-Physical Compliment
There’s nothing wrong with complimenting someones looks (I compliment my boyfriends looks ALL THE TIME!)
But a compliment is significantly more meaningful when it’s not about someones physical looks.
Although hearing “I love your smile” will warm anyones heart, saying “I love your ambition,” “I’m always amazed by how charismatic you are” or even “you have the most incredible sense of humor” are the compliments that really stick with us.
Have Technology-Free Days
Pick a day a week and turn off your phones for the entire day. If a day is too much, do a tech-free date night!
Just make sure you spend some time with each other. Not on your phone!
Do Something Outdoorsy
Whether it’s a hike or kayaking, get some fresh air together!
Spending some time outdoors is very grounding and can even help bring the two of you closer.
Send Sexy Pictures
Few things will get a man as hot and sweaty as a sexy pic.
If you want to be extra naughty, send it while he’s at work. He’ll be so flustered the rest of the day just counting down the hours until he can see you again.
Never Stop Dating
I don’t care if you’ve been together 3 months or 30 years, never stop dating!
Always be courting each other, loving each other, and treating one another like you did before you were in a committed relationship.
Always dating keeps the spark alive and grows your intimate connection!
Building intimacy is more about putting an effort and thinking both outside and inside the box!
Little things like holding hands and cooking for your partner are simple, everyday things you can incorporate into your everyday life to create a deeper connection with your loved one.