Developing a sense of security and peace of mind in a relationship can be difficult, and it can take time. Many of us find ourselves overthinking just about everything in a relationship, and this can be unhealthy.
Overthinking everything in a relationship can not only ruin the relationship, but it is just really exhausting as well and can keep you on edge all the time.
If you find yourself in this position, you need to figure out how to stop overthinking everything in your relationship. It is no easy task to just switch this off, but there are some strategies and tips to use to stop overthinking.
Keep reading to find out the different tools and advice you need to feel more at ease in your relationship, and how to stop stressing about everything.
How To Stop Overthinking Everything In A Relationship
Figure Out Why You Are Overthinking
The first step to take is to try and work out why it is that you overthink everything. This could stem from a past relationship where you were hurt or where your partner gave you a reason to not trust them.
Finding the reason why you overthink everything can help you overcome this, and work towards having a more relaxed approach to the relationship.
When you find yourself overthinking something, take a step back. Try and work out the emotions you are feeling right then. By figuring out the emotions you are feeling, and what you are overthinking, and even physical stress symptoms such as rapid breathing, you can find the root of the problem.
Overthinking could happen because you suffer from anxiety, and it is your natural response to cope with situations. It could be because you feel the need to be in control, and overthinking is your way of avoiding and not accepting what you cannot control.
You might overthink things because you have insecurities, whether it is in yourself or in your relationship (or relationships in general).
Whatever your reason for overthinking, you will not be able to move past it unless you know why it happens.
Build The Trust
A relationship without trust will never work. You and your partner need to be able to trust each other, to work as a team, and to not let doubts and insecurities get in the way of your happiness.
Overthinking often happens where there is a lack of trust. Insignificant occurrences which most likely mean nothing, such as your partner not answering their phone, could become a stressful situation for you, with you thinking up all the different reasons they might be ignoring you.
Without trust, you will overthink everything that happens, and you will more than likely jump to worst-case scenarios most of the time.
You and your partner need to work to build trust between the two of you. However, if your partner has broken your trust in the past, this can be difficult to work towards, and if you feel as though you just cannot trust them, is the relationship really going to work?
If you have an issue with trusting your partner because of a past relationship, then you need to work through that. You cannot judge your partner based on your past experiences, and you need to let go and give them the chance to prove that they are loyal to you.
Learn To Communicate
Just like trust is needed to make a relationship work, so is communication. It is so easy to overthink things and jump to conclusions when there is a lack of communication, and when you just do not have a clear reason from your partner as to why they are acting a certain way.
By being able to openly communicate with your partner, you will be able to banish away a lot of the doubt that could lead to overthinking in the first place, and you would not have to jump to your own conclusions.
It can take some effort at first, but take the time each day to sit down and talk to your partner openly, whether it is over dinner or while making coffee in the morning. Soon this will become a habit, and the more you communicate with each other, the less guessing and overthinking you will have to do.
Make An Effort To Be Positive
A negative mindset is the perfect storm for overthinking, and to overcome doing this, you need to make an actual effort to have a positive outlook. Stop thinking of the worst happening, and instead have a brighter outlook on the world.
Look for and focus on the things in your relationship that are good, that make you happy, instead of stressing over something small that your partner may have done. By recognizing the good in your relationship, you will be lightening the negative emotions you feel when overthinking, and you are more likely to give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
Not every missed call or short text means that the end of your relationship is looming. Your partner might just be busy or dealing with their own stress. You will definitely find yourself overthinking the smallest things if you carry a negative mindset around with you.
Set Yourself In The Present
So often we find ourselves stressing and overthinking about what is to come, and we miss out on what is actually happening. Most overthinking is rooted in fears of things to happen in the future, and just like rocking in a rocking chair, this isn’t going to get you very far.
It is so important to make a concerted effort to be in the present. Find things to cement you in the moment and the life you are living right now. When you start having anxious thoughts about the future and start to overthink something in your relationship, take a step back and try to root yourself in the present.
For most things, there is nothing that worrying can change, so rather push those fears aside and be present in the moment and enjoy where you are, and how your relationship is, right then and there.
Overthinking is a very easy habit to pick up when you have nothing else keeping you busy. One of the best ways to ensure that you cannot sit around and overthink everything in your relationship is to keep yourself busy.
Pick up an old hobby, start a new one, or join a new group or club in your area. Hang out with friends more or just find something that you love doing that keeps your mind occupied. When you are occupied with other things, you won’t have the time to sit back and overthink your relationship.
Finding your own life outside of your relationship is healthy for so many different reasons. You aren’t dependent on your partner for so much, and you get to know who you are as a person on your own. When your relationship is the only thing you have in your life, overthinking is bound to happen.
Speak To Someone You Trust
If you are really finding it difficult to stop overthinking everything in your relationship, it might be worth speaking to someone you trust. This could be a friend, a family member, or even a support group you feel comfortable with.
By voicing your concerns to others, you might be able to find the support that you need, or you might be able to work through the different reasons you are overthinking and make changes to your mindset and behavior.
Whether the person you speak to just acts as a listening ear, or as someone who offers you advice, it really does help to put your feelings into words.
Know What You Want In A Relationship
It can take quite a while to work out what it is that want from a relationship, but once you do know what it is, it can be quite empowering.
You might find that you are overthinking everything in your relationship not because of something your partner is doing, but because you just don’t know what it is that you want or need. You need to take the time to figure this out.
Once you have an idea of what you would like to get out of your relationship, you should have an open and honest talk with your partner. Approach it more from an “I need …” rather than blaming their behavior for not making you happy.
Hopefully, your partner can meet you halfway and the two of you can feel fulfilled in your relationship, which should lead to less overthinking!
Overthinking Everything In A Relationship
You are not alone in overthinking everything in a relationship, but it does not mean that it is necessarily healthy behavior.
There are some steps and adjustments you can take to try and change your mindset to be more at ease with your partner. By finding out why it is that you overthink everything, and going from there, you can hopefully find a way to be more comfortable with yourself and your partner, and not worry about what might happen.
Enjoyed this article? Make sure to read these next: